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After suffering through her first Mother’s Day without her son, a grieving mum says her husband has added to her unimaginable pain by telling her she’s ‘technically no longer a mother’.

The woman says she lost her seven-year-old son just a few months ago due to illness, and her husband was the boy’s stepfather. She says her grief is still very raw, but she’s careful not to let her emotions become too overwhelming for her family and friends.

“I make sure I don’t bother others with my ‘burden’, although my husband has been saying that I’ve become lazy and neglectful towards home chores, work etc etc. He’s partially right but those who have been in my place know how hard it is just to get out of bed these days,” she explained on reddit.

‘You’re no longer a mother’

This past weekend was her first Mother’s Day without her son, and understandably she says her hurst was ‘at its highest’. So she decided to take a walk to clear her head, and when she returned home she discovered her family and friends had sent gifts to cheer her up.

“Some gifts were like mementos, which really touched me hard. My husband came home an hour ago and excitedly showed him what everyone sent for me for Mother’s Day. He made a face and said that that was nice. I noticed that he didn’t bring anything but I asked just to make sure.

“He told me he intended to not bring a Mother’s Day gift, I asked why and he said didn’t feel like I should hear it but I insisted. He nonchalantly told me that it’s because he thought I’m no longer a mother. I was baffled by this response I blew up on him but he told me he meant this ‘technically’. I asked if he thought that I can no longer call myself a mother just because my son passed. He said no but what he meant to say is that these circumstances are different and refused to expand on his argument.

“I started a big fight with him about it and he went upstairs after saying that I was lashing out at him for no reason and that I should control my temper and has been staying there so far. I don’t know if I went too far here but it seems like I did because he’s so upset and refusing to come downstairs and speak to me.”

What a heart-wrenching situation. Do you have any advice for this grieving mum? Let us know in the comments below.

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  • What an insensitive jerk your husband is. Does he also think that once your child leaves home you’re no longer a Mother too? Maybe he just doesn’t know what to say. You didn’t go too far, he did.

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  • Well you are still a mother and obviously still grieving. As to your husband, I’m not sure how anyone can be so unfeeling. Did he not like your son? Either way, if he loves you, he should be mindful of your feelings. I would be seriously considering my options in your position.

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  • You are a Mum and will always be a Mum. You are grieving and need love and support, perhaps even to speak to a psychologist to help you work through your pain. Your husband is so insensitive. If he can’t understand your grief or why you would be upset, there is something very wrong with him.

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  • I am truly sorry for you and want you to understand that you are and will always be a mother. There is no time limit on grief and you have to go through what you go through to get to the other side. Each of us is different. However, in regard to your husband, I would put as much distance between you as is possible. He sounds like a completely selfish, self-centred moron. Imagine saying you had got lazy because you are grieving the loss of your son. I wish you well and hope you will find some comfort and peace in the years to come.

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  • Tell him ‘you’re no longer a husband’s and get divorced. He sounds like an unsupportive jerk. Of your spouse isn’t going to support you at the most difficult time of your life, the marriage is not salvageable. You will always be a mother. Her husband has shown his true colours and I hope she leaves him!

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  • How horrible!! If you give birth, you will always be a mum regardless of whether the baby is alive and well, or if life has been unkind and you give birth to an angel.

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  • What a nasty person he is! I would seriously be filling for divorce if I were her. Just because it wasn’t his biological son, doesn’t give him the right to be insensitive about these sorts of things.
    I honestly can’t believe someone could be like that.

    Reply

  • How hurtful for her. No matter how many years pass, she will always be a mother. Her husband doesn’t sound the best support for her nor understand the grief she is and will forever feel. Surround yourself with ones who want to bring you on, even on your darkest days xx

    Reply

  • This is so heartbreaking, I couldn’t imagine what she is going through. I honestly don’t think she should have expected anything from her husband, but in saying that he shouldn’t have said what he said. How hurtful.

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  • If this were my situation I would be telling him to get out, that it’s over and how dare he disrespect the memory of her child. She IS and ALWAYS will be his mother no matter what.

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  • My heart aches for this woman. What is within my power to do is send positivity, and my love and encouragement to this woman who is heartbroken. I know what it feels like to lose a child, and I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. It may not feel like it now, but it does get better. Seek out counselling, I have called Beyond Blue and they are amazing when I went through the loss of my own child. My thoughts, prayers and love go out to you Mama.

    Reply

  • What a disgusting attitude to have. Her friends and family were trying to lift her up and then the hubby drags her down. I wouldn’t have gone out expecting something from my husband, as my hubby always says that I’m not his mother and now our kids are old enough to understand, he generally helps them buy me gifts that are from them. HOWEVER, this mum is clearly grieving and having a hard time, would it have killed him to do something nice for her to cheer her up? Even buying her some flowers would have been nice. He sounds like a complete jerk.

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  • I just cannot read this, heartbreaking

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  • I read the headline but couldn’t rest the rest of the story. :(

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  • Surely this is not a real story? No one could be this insensitive? I don’t understand why the husband would hide in his room, he should get on his knees & beg for forgiveness. That is so cruel. My husband & I would be completely devastated losing a child especially at the age of 7! How can he place his needs ahead of a heart broken mother? Must be a complete dick

    Reply

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