'I Banned My Teenage Daughter From A Music Festival After Reading Her Texts'

A single dad, who accidentally read his daughter’s text messages, banned her from attending a music festival after he discovered what she and her friends were planning to do.

But now he’s in a moral dilemma – does he tell the other parents what he discovered?

The dad, who has three children, says he and his eldest child – his 16-year-old daughter, usually get along. But recently their relationship took a dive when he unwittingly found out that his daughter’s trip to a music festival was set to be anything but innocent.

“Story starts when for umpteenth time our Apple iCloud got screwed up,” the dad explained on reddit. “I’m not a tech guy at all, but what happens is sometimes our texts would show up in each others inboxes. But not on all devices. I’ve had my younger son’s text show up on my laptop, my texts show up on daughter’s phone, etc.

“Now I’m usually a trusting dad and I delete these threads without reading them as soon as I notice they’re there, but this time it was different. My daughter is planning on attending a certain music fest this weekend with some friends. She has a job and bought her ticket on her own. I originally had no issue, she’s usually responsible.

“Her and her friends are planning on sneaking in alcohol, marijuana …”

“Well I saw an interesting message in a thread with her friend that showed up in my phone. The message read, “We should be able to sneak it in if we hide it well.” So … I snooped. I opened the thread and read it.

“I was shocked at what I saw. She was talking about alcohol. Her and her friends are planning on sneaking in alcohol, marijuana, and something I have personally never heard of called ‘molly’. I legitimately don’t know what that is so as you can assume by this point I’m freaking out. I scroll up to find the outfits my daughter plans on wearing as well. When I say ‘outfits’ that’s me being very generous because to me it looks like just underwear, not an outfit.”

The concerned dad decided he wasn’t going to let his daughter attend the festival, and his daughter wasn’t happy.

“Her and I haven’t been speaking. She thinks I’m wrong to take away something she spent her own money on. I told her it’s not the concert, it’s what she’s planning on doing there I can’t possibly be okay with if I know about it in advance.

“She’s asking me if I’m now going to reimburse her for the ticket if I don’t allow her to go. I don’t think I need to do that either. Maybe I’m being a crappy dad, but we are not that well off. I make enough to provide for my family but not enough to where I can pull $300 out of my wallet to give her for a concert ticket.

“Am I an a**hole for doing this? I don’t think there’s a way I can let her go and be confident she won’t be messing around in stuff she shouldn’t be. Am I now responsible to tell the other parents? Even though I don’t know everyone she’s going with?”

What do you think this dad should do? Let us know in the comments below.

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46 Comments

- - Lividanke said
  - 26 Aug 2024
    4:09 pm
I’d have probably done the same thing if I was in your situation.

- - Zmijka86 said
  - 09 Nov 2022
    8:31 pm
I think it was a right thing to do.

- - ashna9 said
  - 24 Sep 2022
    8:46 pm
Fair call by the parents.

- - mom461384 said
  - 06 Sep 2022
    1:31 pm
Festivals can be very scary and dangerous places. I think you made the right decision!

- - snazzy007 said
  - 14 Aug 2022
    5:46 am
Scary time to be a parent especially of a teen .

- - mom111059 said
  - 05 Aug 2022
    8:41 pm
Definitely don’t let her go. Drugs ruin young lives. The other parents need to know as well. Hard situation to be in.

- - mom101628 said
  - 31 Jul 2022
    4:03 pm
Well I think you are being a responsible dad – explain why you are doing what you are doing and the consequences of what would happen if she got caught by the police at the venue and the possible consequences of what drugs can do to a body. I would also try to contact the parents of her friends. Your daughter should be asked who they are and why you feel you have to tell the parents why you are not letting your daughter go to the festival and let them make up their own minds. Good luck

- - tessie said
  - 31 Jul 2022
    12:41 pm
I think you need to sit down with your daughter and, in a calm way, explain to her what happened and why you don’t want her going. Tell her if she intends going then you’ll go with her to make sure she is okay. I’d definitely be telling the other parents as well and let them deal with it in their own way.

- - mom321588 said
  - 31 Jul 2022
    8:47 am
This parenting gig is hard. You sound like a loving and caring Dad and it’s sad to hear the relationship had broken down somewhat. I would be frank with your daughter in a loving way. Tell her what you know, your concerns and even show her an article about “Anna Wood” who passed away in 1995 after attending a rave Festival and trying ecstasy for the first time. I also would definitely inform the other parents. I’m sure they’re all going to wonder why your daughter is suddenly not going.
Such a hard one, but can be done with love and support.

- - mom93821 said
  - 31 Jul 2022
    6:26 am
A whole lot of respectful communication needs to occur. It would seem a lot trust needs to be repaired all round.

- - romvar said
  - 30 Jul 2022
    4:14 pm
It’s a very difficult situation and I would have done the same thing. She’s only 16 and who knows what would have happened. I have never heard of Molly either until now.

- - mom466291 said
  - 30 Jul 2022
    12:03 pm
Not wrong at all

- - Ellen said
  - 30 Jul 2022
    6:17 am
I think this dad did the right thing considering the age of his daughter, but I would bring it with love and care and have a conversation about the dangers of alcohol and drugs. As for telling the other parents I would probably do the same when I would have their contact details

- - mom485263 said
  - 29 Jul 2022
    9:59 pm
Definitely don’t let her go, nor reimburse her. As for telling the other parents I don’t know. Have you discussed with her why it isn’t a good idea etc.?

- - Lividanke said
  - 29 Jul 2022
    1:37 pm
I don’t think you’ve done the wrong thing, I think if I was in your position I’d most likely have done the same thing.
I’d try and find the other parents and let them know what was going on. Ask yourself this question – if one of the other parents found out this information, would you want to know what your daughter was planning on doing? I know I would, so for me, there’s the easy answer.
As for the refund, I’d say no. I’ve never been to a music festival, but I’m guessing if you were there and the police caught you with or using drugs, then you’d possibly have to leave the festival? You’d most likely be charged if you’re found in possession of illegal drugs? They wouldn’t get a refund then if they had to leave or if their festival was ruined.
Yes she used her own money (good on her for doing that, no doubt she worked hard to earn the money too) but she’s going to hopefully learn a valuable lesson from what she’s done.
Keep up the good work Dad.

- - alyise_ said
  - 29 Jul 2022
    9:53 am
I’m unsure about this because he read her texts and decided to punish her?

- - mom290359 said
  - 28 Jul 2022
    10:33 pm
Was a conversation held about why she was banned? Or did dad just tell her she couldn’t go?

My issue is, if she’s planning on doing this stuff at a music festival, its very likely she’s already tried elsewhere. Have a conversation with her about it all and try to get her to open up, clearly the relationship isn’t as good as he thought if she’s hiding big stuff like this.
Maybe also invite the friends over for a conversation too, drugs (including alcohol) are used to cover pain of some sort, these kids are teenagers, there’s obviously something going on that they may find having a non-confrontational conversation with a trusted adult will help.

- - sars_angelchik said
  - 28 Jul 2022
    1:42 pm
He’s absolutely doing the right thing and he needs to tell the other parents. Maybe the sting of losing money might teach her a lesson.

- - Kimeeja said
  - 28 Jul 2022
    10:26 am
A very difficult position to be in. I think I would have done the same. Trust is so important and she broke that

- - cassy26 said
  - 28 Jul 2022
    10:14 am
I think he’s done the right thing. I wouldn’t be letting her go either…. She’s broken his trust and needs to accept the consequences. I would try to sell the ticket on market place or the buy and sell pages to try and recoup some of her money though.