'I Called Out A Mum In My Mother's Group For Her Drinking'

When Sherry joined a new mother’s group, she became the life of the party – but it made a couple of the exisiting members uncomfortable. So they decided to call out her wine drinking – but should they have stayed out of Sherry’s business?

A woman took to reddit to explain that Sherry, a mum-of-three had joined her mother’s group a couple of months ago, and at first Sherry seemed ‘great’.

“Nice, funny, smart, has three young kids who are awesome. We like having her around,” the woman explained.

“Except me and Lauren (my friend) noticed something. Every single time we’d get together, Sherry would try to make it into a ‘wine’ night. Hang out to let the kids play at the playground in the evening? She’ll bring the wine! Hanging out after school sign up day? Wine time! Kid’s birthday party come around? Well, she’s got the beverages, including the wine!

“Every single time we hang out, she HAS to have a glass in her hand. The glass turns into a bottle. The issue is that she does NOT seem like she’s had an entire bottle of wine.”

The situation culminated when the mother’s group decided to head to the local water park for the day.

“Obviously water + alcohol is a dangerous combo, especially with kids, so when Sherry pulled out a pint of Tito’s and waved it around telling everyone she had a ‘little treat’ for the mums, I felt like I had to say something.

“I said, ‘Oh I don’t think it’s good for us to mix alcohol at a water park like that, especially with the kids around.’ She said it would be fine, she does it all the time.

“At this, I was kind of more alarmed. So when it was just the two of us, I said, ‘Sherry, are you okay? Do you maybe need to talk to someone about your drinking?’

“She looked shocked and said no, and then acted like I was absolutely crazy. She said she had no idea where I got that idea, that her drinking was absolutely normal, and that ‘where she’s from’ it’s perfectly normal for people to drink at social gatherings.

“I said okay and that I was just concerned because I’ve never hung out with her when she hasn’t been drinking. She got defensive and told me that she didn’t like people up her ass monitoring her. After that point, her mood was soured for the day.”

While the woman and her friend Lauren agreed calling out Sherry was the right thing to do, two of the other mums didn’t agree.

“They said it was going to cause a HUGE issue and that now Sherry’s talking sh*t about me being a busybody. I was not trying to shame her. But I know how being a SAHM can turn people into addicts real fast and I didn’t want to see her end up that way. Am I the a**hole?”

What do you think? Should she had called out Sherry’s drinking? Let us know in the comments below.

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36 Comments

- - mom146810 said
  - 13 Apr 2023
    2:30 pm
Any advice which is for the purpose of correction rather than criticizing other person, is good.

- - taracorb said
  - 15 Mar 2023
    7:47 am
If it’s truly from a place of concern i don’t see a problem

- - Zmijka86 said
  - 30 Nov 2022
    8:28 pm
If they are very close to each other then its ok to say something but not when you don’t know someone very well.

- - Jessica said
  - 27 Aug 2022
    8:00 am
I think that was the best way to go about it. In person rather than in front of the group. I would have done the same

- - tessie said
  - 22 Aug 2022
    3:11 pm
I think she only said something out of concern. If she gets the chance, just tell Sherry that you were just concerned for her and wanted her to know you were there for her if she just needed someone to talk to. If Sherry starts causing trouble for you then you might need to find another Mothers Group to be with or have a meeting to say where alcohol can and can’t be consumed and see who else agrees

- - mom485263 said
  - 15 Aug 2022
    11:11 am
Tough one but sounds like she can’t go without drinking. At least she waited until it was just the two of them.

- - Ellen said
  - 14 Aug 2022
    7:46 am
I don’t think would have said anything; unless it would be my best friends, I would have serious and grounded concerns and would see other symptoms. When you’re not happy in a group or feel that you’re one way or the other differ in opinion or interest I would simply stay away and find other people to connect with

- - snazzy007 said
  - 14 Aug 2022
    5:43 am
If it’s coming from a right place with no judgment

- - ~Loui~ said
  - 13 Aug 2022
    9:43 pm
No one here is an asshole, just being concerned for her welfare.

- - mom101628 said
  - 13 Aug 2022
    7:46 pm
I do hope everyone becomes a happy person again. I probably wouldn’t have said anything, but of I was getting worried that the influence on my children was bad, then I would not have been at those gatherings where wine would be brought out.

- - mom450498 said
  - 12 Aug 2022
    8:47 pm
Asking out of concern is a good thing. You never know if alcohol is a way of someone crying out for help. How she responds is up to her and you were being a concerned friend.

- - cassy26 said
  - 12 Aug 2022
    8:44 am
You’ve only known her for a few months and so long as she’s not putting her kids in danger I wouldn’t have said anything. Maybe she suffers anxiety? and really wanted to make friends.. Even if she does have a problem, unfortunately if she’s not ready to deal with it/ or admit to it there’s not a lot you can do especially as you are not really that close in the first place.

- - AmyRoseSainsbury said
  - 11 Aug 2022
    9:09 pm
Personally I don’t feel like it’s anyone else business but her own. As an socially anxious person a drink of wine around a bunch other woman who I may feel could be judging me would take the edge off. The woman may also not have any other friends or think that maybe all the other mums do want a glass of wine. As a woman in her 30s most of the mums I know indulge in a glass at night time. Especially in Australia. I think the mums could have made her feel really crappy without realising.

- - mom489365 said
  - 11 Aug 2022
    12:53 pm
Such an awkward position to be in. Wine time with friends can be fun while the kids play as long as its in moderation and each parent is keeping an eye on their child. If the boozy get together was getting out of hand then maybe checkin on the host and make sure they are ok have a water with them or just pack up your child and leave. Then maybe have a chat with that friend in private the following day.

- - rovermum said
  - 11 Aug 2022
    10:52 am
Not being much of a drinker, it was not an issue for me or anyone in our Mother’s Group. This Mum was obviously concerned, but perhaps it could have been done separately and away from everyone. I don’t know. I feel like, until you’re in this situation and in the middle of it, you don’t know how you’re going to feel or react. I do know of a Mum who had concerns about a friend who drank often and then drove her kids (and this Mum’s son in her car), but she wasn’t prepared to do or say anything except lessen the opportunity for her kids to be in this woman’s company.