A baby shower is all about ‘showering’ an expecting mum with love and, of course, gifts! But what happens when the mum-to-be says she doesn’t expect gifts, but then gets upset when her bestie comes to the event empty-handed?
A 22-year-old woman says she doesn’t know how to feel, after her 24-year-old best friend, who is expecting her first baby, called her ‘dense’ for not bringing a gift to her baby shower.
“She invited me by email/digital card and called me to tell me about it, ” the best friend explained. “When I checked the official invite email I noticed no gift registry (I think that’s common for a baby shower? Always has been one to others I’ve been to.)
“I texted my friend and asked her if there was a registry and if I was missing it. She responded with:
“No registry !! Just bring your support for me and my new family please :). Not really all about gift for me.”
I responded with: “Okay sounds good, I’ll definitely be there for you then, see you there!” And she liked that text. To me it was clear all she expected was ‘my support’.”
But the whole situation unraveled when the baby shower rolled around and the bestie was the only guest without a gift.
“I gave my friend a nice card a couple days before the shower, just telling her how happy I am for her. But I never bought a gift, and at the actual event I had nothing at all since I already gave her the card early (I kinda wanted it to be private.)
“I feel dumb. She opens everything from her other friends, diapers, bottles, baby books, all the regular stuff, and there’s nothing at all from me. She kind of gives me a look but doesn’t say anything.
“Next day I get a text asking why I didn’t give her anything, not even something small. I explain she told me it wasn’t about gifts so I thought that would be expected. She said I was dense and clearly got upset, then told me ‘You’re my best friend but you couldn’t even do the bare minimum’.
“I would have bought her something if she didn’t say ‘It’s not about gifts’ or there was a registry. It was an honest misunderstanding and I really do care about her. Am I the a**hole?”
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