The death of a father and the dividing up of a family estate has led to strained relationships between siblings, as one struggles to make her dream of having children come true.

Three siblings have been left their inheritance, after their 65-year-old father passed away. But one brother, who says he doesn’t need the money, is considering giving his share to his brother with children, rather than his sister who is struggling with infertility.

“I have enough money and don’t really need the inheritance,” the 34-year-old man explained on reddit.  “My siblings and I were talking about the money that is supposed to be divided three ways.

“I’m childless, my 33-year-old brother has three small kids and my 41-year-old sister has been trying for a baby for over a decade now.

“I told them since I don’t need the money, I’m thinking of giving it to my brother, because he has been struggling financially and can use the money. My sister asked if I could instead give it to her for her last round of IVF (that would cost her share plus my share of the inheritance) as it’s her last chance to have a baby.”

While the brother sympathised with his sister’s struggles, having himself dealt with infertility with his ex-partner, he doesn’t intend to give her the money.

“I told her I’m sorry, but our brother doesn’t have much money and has three kids depending on him, so I feel that it’s better he gets my money. She asked me if my brother’s kids are more important than hers and I said, ‘Well yes, the living children take priority over the imaginary’.

“She was very hurt, called me an a**hole for 1)not helping her out and 2)insulting her and belittling her struggles.”

Now the brother wants to know if he’s really in the wrong. What do you think he should do with the money? Let us know in the comments below.

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  • Why doesn’t he give them both some.


  • It is his money to do as he wishes but I sense it may create a riff in the family if he gifts it to one sibling and not another, BUT I can understand why he wishes to help out his brother with his children.


  • I kind of agree with the brother. Given the sister has struggled through multiple rounds of IVF, there’s no guarantee this round would work, when the money would really help his brothers family who already have expenses with children


  • Ooh, tricky. Can he split it between the two?


  • I agree to share the money with his brother who has three kids. But i do not agree on how he delivered the message to his sister. Maybe they do not have a good relationship to start with.


  • What a priceless gift


  • It depends on what relationship you want with your siblings in future. It you want an equal relationship, then give the money equally (or not at all). It is your choice and your money, but as it is now known that you are giving the money away, of course someone will be hurt if they will be left out.


  • The sister doesn’t really get a say. It’s his money to do with as he chooses.


  • A very tough one here. But I can see his point. I think perhaps sharing a portion would help


  • When money is inherited it is ultimately the choice of an individual/s to decide what to do with it.
    People should probably use there money before they pass and leave none to fight over!
    We have advised our in laws to spend their money before they pass and enjoy their money, they worked for it!

    • Definitely !
      My parents gave us for many years a portion an xx amount of money when they were still alive, whilst living a good live themselves too.
      My in-laws however try to save as much as possible for their children, whilst living very sober themselves.

      • Such a wise way to live too. I would much rather live that way too. A good life for all makes sense.


  • Pity it came to this but his sister has really brought it on herself by asking for the money. The other brother didn’t ask for it, and at the end of the day the money is his to do with whatever he would like.


  • I don’t understand why he doesn’t just relinquish his share and the estate can be split 50/50 between the other two siblings. He is entitled to do as he wishes, but why create a rift?


  • This is a tough one. My heart goes out to the sister but the brother should probably get some. Half each.


  • It’s his money to use as he chooses. It’s a shame for his sister but I also agree that the brother with 3 kids is a more immediate need. There are no guarantees with IVF unfortunately.


  • He has every right to choose what he wants to do with the money. But if this is causing problems between the siblings it’s best to split it, it’s not worth having siblings fight over money, it’s better to maintain the relationships.
    Also if the sister can see her other brother struggling with three kids she needs to be compassionate in those circumstances as well and help out herself not dump her other brother, they are siblings they need to help each other.


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