The parents shouldn’t be involved.
It’s lovely the husband supports his wife in her decision, now she should respect and support him in his decisions too

Take it one week at a time, so much changes when you have your child. Your feelings may change.

Definitely not the ahole.
Just as much as it’s her decision to choose to be a SAHM you also have that same decision

I don’t think you are being an A$$hole. You are supporting your wife’s decision but while also saying you don’t wish it to be your decision. Childcare does exist for a reason or a nanny if that was an option.

You cant make these decisions so early before your child arrives. A lot changes and what you can and cant handle will be shown once you’re thrown into it.

My husband was very keen to stay at home, and then HATED it and fled back to work. He’s not the only one – I know a lot of men, and some women, who’ve had the same reaction. Perhaps he could suggest the compromise of a period of part time work to see how he finds the experience.

tough call at this early stage – perhaps see what the first couple of years are like and communicate through these early years.

Not a great conversation to be having this time. Communication is key, but perhaps this should be a discussion for much later. And I hate how the extended family are involved. It’s actually none of their business but could cause irreparable damage.

Tricky. Definately seems to be a bit of a communication issue, and not to minimise how the wife is feeling but it’s a very hormonal time for a woman. I didn’t know what I wanted from hour to hour. Hopefully the can work it out harmoniously

Hmm this is a tricky one! So many variables and options depending on what’s best for the family and child as an individual with needs.

The first year I can see why she would be angry if you said no, but after that, that’s what daycare is for. Kids love the social interactions there

No I don’t think you’re being an a**hole. I love that she wants to be a SAHM but it’s her choice, she shouldn’t be telling you to do the same thing. You wouldn’t be able to get any help from Centrelink because there wouldn’t be a reason for one of you not working.

I think its beautiful to be able to stay at home to look after your own baby child yes we all need money but a child will always need his parents

Not the Ahole at all. Your awesome for being able to financially support your family that your wife can be a sahm. She really has no right to tell you to quit your job in 2 years time and force you to stay home. By that time you could have a second on the way for all you both know. As for the in laws sticking their nose in it, tell them where to go

First of all her parents have no right what the two of you decide in any part of your marriage especially this big decision. I would wait until the baby comes then decide, who knows you might just change your mind, also if your wife brings it up again don’t upset her maybe tell her your thinking about it.

I think the parents should stay right out of this as I’m sure they didn’t decide to arrange the marriage between the two of them. This is something the husband and wife need to sort out themselves and as many have said, once the baby is there then feelings will override whatever sensible or non0sensical decisions are being argued over now. Take your wife out to tea at a posh restaurant, enjoy a wonderful meal then go home. Maybe a few weeks later if nothing has been resolved, a gentle reminder of what else would have to be given up if you quit your well-paying tech job might be raised. Tech changes so fast that unless you stay on top of it completely, then it’s extremely hard to catch up with later and your wife should be aware of that too before any decisions are made.

Firstly this has nothing to do with her parents and they should keep out of it, secondly so much changes once a baby actually arrives that this may not even be an issue anymore.. She may be pregnant with another child and not want to go back to work or she may just not want to go back to work anyway or maybe only part time, or the dad may then want to take a break from work. Nobody knows how they will feel in 2 years time. Regardless it is something they will both need to decide together when the time comes. It’s really not worth fighting over now.

They will work it out as time goes on if her parents stop interfering.

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  • • mom93821 replied
    • 28 Feb 2023 , 7:10 am

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  Parents always need to stay out of these issues.

Best to wait until the baby is born and make plans from that point. The arrival of a baby can change so many plans! All parties need to look at their careers and options and future plans in a respectful way and keep any other family members out of it.

If she gets to have a choice then so does her and she should be keeping her parents out of it.