'I Had A Stillbirth And Donated My Breast Milk To My Sister, But I Can't Do It Anymore'

A heartbreaking loss for an expecting mum has been compounded by her sister, after the pair fell out over donated breast milk.

The 28-year-old woman suffered a stillbirth five weeks ago, with her sister giving birth to a healthy baby boy just one week later. After her stillbirth, the devastated woman was still producing breast milk while her sister wasn’t able to breastfeed.

“The formula shortage was awful and I was literally throwing my milk away, so I offered it to my sister and she gladly accepted,” the woman, who lives in the US, explained on reddit.

“I was advised by the doctors to pump for three weeks after the stillbirth to prevent problems for me, and then stop, otherwise I’d just keep producing milk. Due to the formula shortage (in the US), I have been pumping for five weeks now, to give the milk to my sister. Now that there is more formula in stock and she has been able go buy it, I told her I’ll stop pumping.”

But her sister is insisting she continue to pump breastmilk, even though the broken woman says she’s too distraught.

“She told me her son has stomach problems after the formula and asked me to keep pumping. I told her I emotionally cannot handle it any longer. She said I am being selfish and she already has to feed her son by bottle.

“My sister had suggested I’d just nurse him for his daily feedings at least – we live next door, and I refused.”

“I told her I’m sorry and I can pump for a few more days so she can put some in the freezer and have some back up until she finds a better formula for her son, but she said breast milk is healthiest and I should just help her out.

“She called me a selfish a**hole and said that I am the embodiment of ‘misery loves company’. My mother feels I should help my own sister out. My husband said my sister is way out of line. I feel really awful because I could still help her out and I know she needs it.”

What a heartbreaking situation. What advice would you offer this heartbroken woman? Let us know in the comments below.

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44 Comments

- - mum1 said
  - 25 Jul 2022
    9:58 pm
That’s a horrible situation to be in. I’m sorry for your loss and what a kind thing you’ve done. It was always going to be tempory

- - Zmijka86 said
  - 25 Jul 2022
    8:35 pm
Oh dear…noone should be going through that.

- - mom461384 said
  - 11 Jul 2022
    1:50 pm
Your sister should have been thankful that you were kind enough to give her that help in the first place!

- - mom60462 said
  - 30 Jun 2022
    3:14 pm
That would have been hard for her to do in the begining but for her sister to call her all those names after she has stopped is terrible. The sister was lucky she was giving her the milk for so long

- - mom485263 said
  - 28 Jun 2022
    10:05 am
OMG, for the sister with the newborn she should be thankful for the breastmilk she has been given. Imagine is she had gone through the loss her sister had. I feel so sorry for the other sister. She is baring the loss of the of child along with her husband.

- - ~Loui~ said
  - 27 Jun 2022
    6:03 pm
No one has the right to tell anyone what they should or shouldn’t do with their own bodies. She’s not being selfish, she’s looking after herself.

- - broo-rocky said
  - 27 Jun 2022
    12:52 am
It is crazy that more and more these days, women are being seen as only vessels to have babies, or in this case, feed babies. What she does with her life and body are completely up to herself. She has already been very generous and caring, above what was needed. Her sister needs to stop being selfish and take care of her own child’s needs with other formulas.

- - tessie said
  - 25 Jun 2022
    12:39 pm
The only one being selfish here is her sister. How would she like it if the tables were turned? She should be grateful that her sister donated her breastmilk at all. I’m so glad she has her husband who cares more for his wife’s feelings than her own family does.

- - Ails said
  - 24 Jun 2022
    2:01 pm
Gees her sister should have some compassion for what she has gone through. Yes in the beginning it would have been a nice gesture to help her sister out, but when she made the call of ok I’ve had enough now, her sister should respect her discision and let her grieve for her still born child.

- - Mum2archer said
  - 24 Jun 2022
    1:41 pm
Wow, I feel so sorry for her having a sister who is being this way. She is dealing with so much grief, this wouldn’t be helping her at all

- - mom487937 said
  - 23 Jun 2022
    8:50 pm
Disgusting, how can the sister expect you to continue? I hope this poor woman us getting therapy for her loss.

- - mom101628 said
  - 23 Jun 2022
    7:25 pm
Doesn’t anyone think of what she is going through? Still producing milk for a dead child? That may sound terrible, but it is what is happening. And that is so hard for her to live with. I have lost a child and you need to grieve when this happens. Still producing milk prolongs the grieving – why can’t her sister understand this and get on with her life like she would have had to do if her sister wasn’t pregnant at the same time. Methinks soe common sense is required in this scenario
- Ellen replied
  
  11 Jul 2022 , 7:54 am
  I totally agree with you !
- - BellaB said
  - 23 Jun 2022
    7:25 pm
I really can’t believe this family is asking this of her.

- - snazzy007 said
  - 23 Jun 2022
    4:26 pm
This sounds like something out of novel

- - mom486400 said
  - 23 Jun 2022
    2:59 pm
Definitely way out of line. Do what’s right for you and your mental health. Who cares about anyone else.