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What would you do if your mother-in-law very obviously favoured one of your children over the other? This mum decided to stop all contact, and her family isn’t happy.

The mum-of-two explains that her mother-in-law went from having no grandchildren, to three grandsons in the space of 13 months.

“My son is the third grandson and my MIL never showed much of an interest in him. She didn’t visit at all in the first year and would never call to see how he was,” she explained on reddit. “Both myself and my husband would send her pictures and updates but she very rarely responded. At his first birthday party she showed up 2 hours late and left after about 45 minutes to go to her daughter’s house.

“The way she acts with her other two grandsons has always been the complete opposite. She would visit them regularly and on the rare occasion she responded to pictures of our son it would be with pictures of the other two boys.”

But here’s where the situation gets even trickier. The mum had her second baby this year, a little girl. The first granddaughter for her mother-in-law, who was ‘delighted’.

“She has visited us numerous times to see our daughter but completely ignores our son every time. He tries to interact with her and she says, ‘Not now I’m holding the baby,’ and other similar phrases. This bothers me as it hurts to see him pushed to the side like that. I feel if she’s not interested in her grandson then why be interested in her granddaughter. I told her she couldn’t come to my home to exclude my son while interacting with and spoiling my daughter.”

Once it started to become painfully obvious that her mother-in-law was favouring one of her grandchildren over the other, the upset mum confronted her.

“She shows up with gifts for my daughter and never anything for my son. This resulted in an argument as she said she’s entitled to spoil her granddaughter if she wants to. I responded by telling her until she can treat my children equally she won’t be seeing either of them. If she doesn’t want to buy anything for my son that’s perfectly fine, I don’t expect her to but I won’t have him growing up watching his sister get spoilt by her when he’s completely ignored by her.

“She called me an ungrateful b&*^h and left. Since then my SIL and BIL have both said I’d be an a**h*le to deprive my daughter of that relationship and I just need to suck it up for the sake of my daughter. My husband agrees with me and is on my side completely, but their reaction has me doubting myself. So would I be the a**h*le for not allowing my MIL to see my daughter because of how she treats my son?”

Do you think this mum is doing the right thing? Let us know in the comments below.

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  • If one child is being ignored it will not be a good outcome in the long run. It’s just not fair.

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  • Wow this is a hard one. Obviously she is protecting her son from being left out but to completely ban the MIL from seeing them seems a bit harsh. The MIL does need to be spoken to about the situation, something needs to be resolved, so the kids don’t miss out on seeing gma

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  • This just seems so mean to me. How could you so obviously favour one child over another it’s definitely not right.

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  • I agree with this mum, you wouldn’t accept this behaviour from a stranger let alone a relative. The fact that she voices her bizarre opinion on spoiling one child over makes me think she will never see the light with her thinking. Your children do not rely on her for their happiness, they will fare much better with loving parents who do not differentiate. Good job Mum and Dad.

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  • I don’t blame her! My in laws live in another state with their two other grand kids. One year they invited themselves, my SIL and her two children (then aged 6 and almost 9) to spend Christmas with us and stay in our house (uninvited!) for a month! They flew the grandkids over, got them everything on their list to Santa and filled their stocking to the brim, plus got them extravagant gifts! My two aged 3 and almost 1 got nothing like that! My 1 year old got a small fire engine that was part of a larger set and an oops forgot to bring the outfit we bought, we will send it when we get home (they didn’t) my 3 year old got knickers and a t-shirt which came with stickers, plus a doll we purchased on their behalf. That was it! Nothing from Santa, nothing for their stockings (not even the bubbles the cousins got). The 1 year old and 9 year old share a birthday. 1 year old got a shared family gift from all of them. 9 year old got lots of gifts! Another time they were here I did a in home toy demonstration. My MIL was sooo intent on buying something to take back for her other grandkids but when my husband and I were trying to work out which of the toys we were looking at to get and which to leave there was nothing from them … even though it was only a week till my eldest child’s birthday!
    I’d love to cut all ties with them. Especially as they NEVER listen, my MIL makes snide comments, and even said something unforgivable, my husband just thinks I am the one with the problem and won’t cut his (now only) mum out of our lives because she doesn’t mean what she says to come out the way it sounds (but I obviously ALWAYS do!)

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  • You are not in the wrong. Your mil is being horrible to your son by doing this & it could cause long term emotional damage to your son. It is up to you to protect your children & do what is best for your family.

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  • That’s fair how this mom reacted to the situation. All grandchildren should be treated equally. It’s a shame though that the MIL won’t have a relationship with her grandchildren but that’s from her own fault. Glad the husband has been supportive too

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  • This mum is definitely in the right! So rude of the MIL to treat the siblings so unfairly

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  • I completely agree with the mum’s decision. The MIL is being very hurtful in playing favourites and looks as though she was doing it long before the granddaughter arrived with her other grandchildren. She needs to be pulled into line.

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  • I don’t think you are doing anything wrong and I’m glad to see your husband (her son) agrees with you. If you ask me, they are all being a******s to think you should put her feelings before your sons. Wonder how they’d feel if it was done to them. If you ask me, your children will be better off not having anything to do with a witch like her.

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  • No, you do what’s right for your family. We have nothing to do with our in-laws because of safety concerns and emotional abuse and I do not feel guilty. He’s now old enough to understand it and although we hid it from him, it’s amazing what he observed and was aware of. MIL’s behaviour is terrible. Oftentimes I do find MIL’s behave differently than with their own daughter, but grandkids should all be treated the same.

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  • My sisters children were subjected to this type of affection, they are now adults and it has left them with emotional scars. You are doing the right thing when they are older they can forge a relationship on their own terms,

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  • My MIL treats all her other grandkids much better than mine and also favoured one of my girls over the other but my mother loves my girls to death, so I didn’t really care. I wouldn’t never stop my MIL from visiting though.

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  • Wow that’s so bizzar

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  • What is wrong with your husband he should be saying to treat the grandchildren equal, my mother was like that with the boys liked only girls but never bought a present for one and not the other that is down right mean. She owes you an appology and until she treats him better then she doesn’t visit.

    Reply

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