Kids don’t ruin your marriage. You need to grow up and stop being so selfish!

Having kids should and its both parents choice and noone should be push to it.

It’s a tough call/decision when one parents really wants and the other isn’t overly keen

It’s sad that people few like that after having kids. It’s a big change in someone’s life and a lot to learn and so many challenges every day. But so many rewards in the end of the day.

I feel like resentment can cause so much more drama and more issues for the relationship. I would suggest counselling and communication, starting something that means time with just your wife like a date night that is regular and can give you back that time and spark.
I totally understand the feeling of despair when you lose the parts of yourself and relationship to parenting but each section is a phase and hard work is rewarded. I love having kids and want more, but my husband is a little like this scenario and I have to respect him and our relationship.

It’s great that you’re being honest and not just holding it in. I hope you are able to get things worked out but if you do, don’t take it out on your children. As they get older you’ll be so happy you had them.

That would have taken a lot of courage from him to voice that opinion. Him and his wife do really need to get some councelling to help them with their marriage. They both really need to look at why are they having kids and have a proper conversation about the potential for more children. I agree with a lot of people saying make sure you don’t take it out on the kids. I know someone who has done that and it’s really been bad for both the child and the marriage.

I would say no more kids, and work on your relationship issues with your wife!
I have a 6 year old with special needs and life has been hell! Constant screaming fits for years on end changed me as a person. I’m now angry and want a break.I think I actually have PTSD from it and am quick to snap at the kids for any little thing. But I honestly cannot imagine life without them! My husband and I argue all the time and play the blame game. It doesn’t work or help! Work out what your issues are, they all seem to be directed at your wife, not your kids, and see if there’s anything that can be fixed from your end and then work together to solve both of your issues!

Sounds like he is depressed and is taking a rough patch as how his life will always be. I have four children and when my middle two, who are only 22 months apart, were little I would sit and cry. As they got older they got worse and of course my husband and I would fight but things always get better. I’m so proud of all my children, my husband and myself. Life is very rarely perfect

Get some counselling ASAP. The resentment towards your wife is unfair and cruel. You had a choice. This is about your reactions to the stresses of being a parent. Take a bit of responsibility here.

Ask yourself the question, what are you really missing out on. My husband always says that having children ruined his life but he moves heaven and earth for them. He has 2 to a previous marriage and we had 2. The kids are all adults now and life is so much more easier, I wouldn’t change anything even if I could. I know a few males that say they are missing out on their best years and have seperated and now would love to have everything back to the way it was. I ask again, “what are you missing out on?

You need to set aside time for yourselves- get some people you trust to babysit and have a date night or day. Do all the things you used to do when dating. If people offer to give you a night off 100% take it. Grandparents are usually s good bet.

We are only seeing a snippet of his life here so it’s hard to offer more than the basics. Communication – talking with his wife about how he feels and to maybe suggest they seek counseling together (or separately). People talk about self care for women/mothers but what about men/fathers? Does he get any time to himself, to do something that’s just for him? Is there any quality time (and seriously it’s not just sex here) for the parents as partners, away from being parents?

Life with kids can be so … mundane and repetitive. Breaking it up with time apart and then coming back together with fun, wholesome activities and adventures can be refreshing.

She wants 4 kids, he wanted none. 2 is a compromise for both. Sounds like dad is really seeking some assurance that he’s still him. Not just ‘dad’. But it shouldn’t be solely on his partner and children to reassure him; he needs to step up to his own needs and wants as well.

I applaud the honesty, as I feel like this sometimes and feel guilty for thinking it, never mind saying it. I think it is important to be careful on how this is said to the partner, as it could come across as just resentful and accusative, when what is needed is working together to improve things. I bet she feels the same way sometimes too!
some time away together and some time out from the kids if possible too, and maybe even some couples counselling? It will take some effort from both to work these feelings out, but as the kids get older and easier this will help too. I’m a solo parent of twins and an older girl, and I completely understand the feelings he describes, even though i love my kids to bits and dont regret having them. It’s like the comic Jessica fostekew said : I love them and would jump in front of a car for them, but also sometimes because of them!
Hang on in there dad, you can work through these feelings. Also, sorry for stating the obvious but it’s kind of not worth brooding or dwelling on, because it’s a done deed, the kids are here, now the task is to work out how to find a balance, not dwell on that you didnt really want to have kids….

It really isn’t easy to look after kids but the rewards can outweigh to down times.