Hello!

If you’ve ever craved just a moment’s peace and quiet to hear your own thoughts, you’ll sympathise with this mum who wants nothing more than a blissful, child-free Mother’s Day.

The mum has confessed to being thrilled with the idea of not having her children home on Mother’s Day, but is wondering if it makes her an a**hole. The mum, aged in her 40s, has primary school aged children, and while she adores them, she needs a break.

“First, I love them more than words, yadda yadda,” she explained on reddit. “Husband is awesome and we have a great relationship. He definitely does his share of child rearing (not exactly 50/50 due to logistics of our jobs) but definitely does more housework than I do. We are really one of those happy families.

“But. I’m TIRED. And crave QUIET. I do drop-off every morning because hubs goes to work at 6am. Getting the kids up, dressed, fed, packed and off to school – ranges from seamless cheerful mornings (rare) all the way to all of us screaming and crying and punishments threatened (luckily also rare). But, kids will be kids and so the 10th time of ‘Mum? Mum? Maaam? Maaaaaammmm!’ from two floors away (while I’m in the bathroom no less), combined with “X hit me”, “Y stole my spoon”, “I forgot to do my homework”, “I can’t find my shoes”, drive me effing batty.”

“I work a full day at a semi-demanding job where I talk to people most hours of the day. Weekends are generally pretty chill without too many commitments with maybe an hour or two where the kids are preoccupied and I can have ‘me time’ to read a book or stare at TikTok or whatever.”

‘I get an entire day to myself’

Sounding familiar? The frazzled mum says she has the opportunity to enjoy some solid child-free time over Mother’s Day weekend – and she’s grabbing it with both hands!

“Hubs volunteered to take the kids Friday afternoon to FIL’s house and be back Sunday afternoon. (Mother’s Day). I love this idea as it gives me TWO mornings to sleep in and an entire full day to myself. Plus the kids love FIL’s house and will have a blast.”

While she’s completely fine with the situation, her friends and family have weighed in with varying opinions.

“Well – to hear others’ reactions – the fact that I will wake up Sunday morning to a quiet house obviously means I am a horrible person and really don’t love my kids at all. I mean, (gasp!) what MOTHER doesn’t want to spend Mother’s Day with her CHILDREN!’ Hi, Yes, that would be me. Someone even told my husband he was the a**hole for making Mother’s Day about him and his family (who I love btw).

“I want time to myself but please tell me – am I the a**hole? (This is happening regardless … so more just curious on how bad I should feel about it).”

Hmmm … what a tricky one! Let us know what you think in the comments below.

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  • I think it’s a wonderful idea. Everyone has a great time and it’s not like you won’t see them on Mother’s Day. The fact that it was your husband’s idea shows that he knows how much it would mean to you. To answer your question though, no it doesn’t mean you’re an a**hole for looking forward to having the time to yourself, I’m sure deep down it’s what a lot of us would like (just not too often). It’s a win/win for everyone. Hope you had a very Happy Mother’s Day.

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  • I think it’s a great idea and the kids can give Grandma a breakfast in bed instead. Win win all round. The presents they have made for you at school can still be given when they get home on Sunday and you will feel better for having had some time to yourself. One day you might regret this, but at this stage it is what you want and need.

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  • Haha we had a kid free dinner so I cant complain. It was lovely

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  • Haha, I do get it. In my house, I ask for a day where I don’t have to consider any meals eg. brekky, lunch, dinner. Someone else has to take total charge. Hubby actually does that for me. I can see a nice quiet day of doing what I want would be appealing, but I figure our kids grow up and we will get that soon enough anyway.

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  • You can’t be the best mum for your kids of you don’t take care of yourself, that includes your mental health. I totally get needing a day or two to recharge. Self care is important and we need to stop mum shaming, and normalise self care.

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  • It’s called self-care. Taking care of herself, putting her needs first. I think every Mother at some stage in life has thought that – needing my time alone, no kids, partner or husband. If that what she wants, then grant her the wish.

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  • If that’s what she really wants she should get that- it’s her day. But she should still allow her kids time to give her gifts and maybe make her breakfast.

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  • I don’t think you are horrible for wanting to have me time. You can’t always be the best mum if your cup is empty. If it was me, I’d do mothers day with the kids and have a me weekend another weekend (either before or after).

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  • I said the same thing to my husband and didn’t feel guilty at all. There’s nothing wrong with having me time once a year!

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  • I can understand you wanting to have time out without the kids and you time to do what you want its not easy having a busy life, so do something you want to do and don’t feel guilty wanting it. Maybe have a break again if you can work it and organize a beauty therapy day.

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  • My husband is working so I won’t be getting a child free day
    But I did say we can celebrate on another day instead! I do love spending time with my family but also would love some time to myself

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  • I wouldn’t say no to that! I really can’t understand why anyone would say that. Not spending time with the family on Mother’s Day means you’re a horrible person and don’t love them? That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Take the opportunity and have time to yourself. When they come home on Sunday, it’s still Mother’s Day. You still get to spend time with them. I hope you enjoy yourself!

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  • Nope! I totally get it. Sounds like an amazing thing to have just to recharge

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  • Grab the opportunity ! In fact maybe make it a regular thing.

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  • Not an as*hole at all! Last year all I wanted for my birthday was a night alone at a hotel in Crown Casino (I was 6 month’s pregnant and exhausted looking after my twin sons). Unfortunately covid lockdown ruined my plan otherwise it was going ahead haha.

    Reply

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