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A mum is fuming after being constantly harassed by budget-hungry parents to give away her baby items, that she is trying to sell. She has a message for parents: “If you can’t afford to even buy your child clothes, do not have a baby!”

This mother-of-three shared her frustrations on Mumsnet saying that she is a regular seller on her local kids classified group.

“I sell my children’s old clothes and bits and bobs to fund buying new ones like every other parent probably does,” she said.

However, in the past months, she’s had women message her and ask if she will give them her sale items for free as they’re “pregnant and can’t afford the items.”

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If You Can’t Afford A Kid, Don’t Have One!

The mum was angry for being put in such an awkward position.

“Seriously why have a baby if you can’t even afford basic baby grows and cheap little outfits?,” she complained.

“If you’re struggling (now), it will only get worse (once the child grows).”

Can’t You Give It To Me For Free?

She explained that one mum had the audacity to ask for a cot, a microwave and blackout curtains for free. She decided to take pity on the new mum and agreed to give her the curtains, as she had already sold the other two items.

But she regretted her generosity when the woman responded.

“Then she asked could I deliver or post, (and could I cover the) cost as well? I felt like saying shall I come fit them too?”

She received a similar request from another mum:

“A lady messaged asking if I could give her all my baby items I’m selling as she can’t afford any for her unborn son.”

The poster said that she wasn’t well off herself and “she saved and searched for specials” so she could afford the more expensive brands for her kids.

Why Do They Even Ask?

She was perplexed about these freeloader’s responses.

“Why do people keep asking for everything for nothing?” she asked.

“Yes times are tough at the moment and everyone’s situation is different, but if you’re struggling now it’ll only get worse because children are most certainly not cheap!”

Not Everyone Agreed!

She received alot of varied responses to her rant.

Many agreed with her:

“People need to be able to look after themselves and their families. They should absolutely not set out to have children if they will not be able to feed them and buy clothes for them,” one said.

“To ask someone you don’t know to give you something is rude,” another comment read.

It’s A Scam!

Some commenters suggested that they may be scammers – trying their luck to get pricey items for free, so they can then on-sell them.

Don’t Judge Too Quickly

Others felt the mum was being too judgemental.

“People sometimes have babies when finances are tight. Is it always a good idea? No. Is it sometimes the least worst option for them? Yes. All sorts of things can happen during a pregnancy to make people go from financially stable to financially precarious,” read one response.

“It would be lovely if it was simple,” said one response. “But life is all about nuance and shades of grey rather than black and white.”

“Some people’s relationships (and financial support) collapse before the birth. Some people don’t fully understand the financial commitment they are making.”

Yet another slammed the mum for her gripe:
“People are allowed to have children whatever their financial circumstances. It’s not a privilege for the rich.”

Do you think this mum had a point? Should you have kids if you can’t afford them? Tell us in the comments below.

  • Right now, times are tough for ALOT of people.
    I’m two sided about this as Ive been in both situations.
    If people want something for free, perhaps they should search for items on their local ‘buy nothing page’.

    Reply

  • I see her point. I also know both sides of the coin.
    I agree with some of the other comments in that if people ask and you don’t feel comfortable just politely decline their requests.

    Reply

  • My mum told me once that if she had waited till they had the money me and my brother would have never been born! You can make it work if you are working

    Reply

  • I agree with some of the things she says but not about waiting to have kids until you can afford them. If that was the case there wouldn’t be many children being born. Babies don’t need the latest fashions or the fancy stuff. As long as they are kept warm, fed and loved they don’t ask for anything else. If she doesn’t want to give her things away then just ignore the requests that she is annoyed by.

    Reply

  • I know sometimes people are generous to give free item that they used.

    Reply

  • Getting things free should not be expected, then if it does happen it’s appreciated even more.

    Reply

  • Times are tough at the moment, and sometimes things change after the child is born, as happened to me, but I didn’t ask people to give me things for free. I did get a lot of things given to me by wonderful people who learned my situation, but I never asked. I also passed on what I was given when I was finished with it. I didn’t try to sell. But I do also know that some people can feel like they are entitled to things. I have given things away on gumtree (not baby stuff but other things we no longer use/want) and people want it delivered because they don’t have a car. Ha, don’t think so. If you want it, come and get it. It is free, I’m already giving it away, I’m not a courier.

    Reply

  • There are a lot of choosing beggars these days, you just have to watch YouTube to see how many there are, and not all are pregnant women, they want want want, and expect it all to be free. A lot of them, if they get what they want, often sell them to make some spending money, often, they are not poor, just choosing beggars. I feel for the ones that really need the items due to circumstances beyond their control, ie their partner up and left, they lost their job/place to live, there have been deaths in their families etc.

    Reply

  • I love to pass on things I no longer need or use to people that will love and use them. However, I have had some really decent stuff that I’ve tried to sell. And I’m finding, people just want everything for free these days. They don’t want to pay for second-hand stuff. It seems to be a thing. So, I take everything to a charity shop or re-sale place where someone (a charity or seller) will benefit from it.


    • I’m happy to pass things on too or alternatively bring it to the opp shop. Happy to buy second hand as well.

    Reply

  • I don’t think she’s being judgemental at all! There are charities to help people like this and to ask for her to deliver or post? I’d bend over backwards to get something if someone was nice enough to give away!

    Reply

  • I don’t think there is really ever a good time to have kids unless you are rich!
    But, I also don’t think it is acceptable to ask for hand outs everywhere!
    If someone wanted to give things away, they would list them for free, I feel it’s OK to negotiate a price maybe, but not simply expect someone to give you something for nothing! I gave alot of baby items away to friends, none of them expected things for nothing and some even offered money, which I didn’t want… I have also sold items that where expensive to begin with, and sold them at a very cheap price to recoup some money.
    You cannot expect charity from people, especially if you don’t know their circumstances either…

    Reply

  • Yes it is definitely rude asking for free. I don’t think the mum has a right to judge others and say they shouldn’t have kids if they can’t afford them as she doesn’t know any of the circumstances at all. I have 4 children and thet have everything they need. I didn’t sell any of my children’s things I gave them to charity to help those less fortunate than myself.

    Reply

  • I don’t feel that I can comment on this as we don’t really know anyone’s circumstances.

    Reply

  • I do believe that some people genuinely do need help getting things together for their new baby because it is expensive and there are lots of different circumstances, but there are also a lot of cheeky people who want something for nothing.

    Reply

  • This lady tries to sell goods that she no longer wants – where is the crime in that?
    For people to ask her to give the item for free is unacceptable in my mind.
    There are so many on the net who want something for nothing so they can on-sell at a profit and that’s the way they make a living – but it doesn’t mean we should all give everything for free for them to do so

    Reply

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