Anyone who has been pregnant knows how all-consuming those nine months can be. So what happens if you’re childfree by choice, but your friend constantly brings up her pregnancy?

For one woman, it’s caused a huge rift with her friend of ten years. The 25-year-old has been friends with Kayla, 26, for the past decade, even though they have been drifting apart recently because of their different lifestyles.

“She got married and I am happy for her because that’s something she wanted, her husband also is a good man and that’s nice, I was her bridesmaid and celebrated her even though I’m not a big wedding person because obviously that was about supporting a friend and not about me,” she explained.

“Now she’s pregnant (around five months) and I’m also happy for her, she’s very excited to be a mum. I’m not a person who likes kids or wants them to myself, however I can be happy for the people around me who want them, I’m not one of those bitter childfree people who hate kids/parents.”

Kayla’s family doesn’t live nearby, so the woman says she’s been asked to go to Kayla’s antenatal appointments when her husband isn’t available. But it seems the pregnancy is now consuming all of their time together.

“I am happy to help her out and I don’t mind it. I also am happy to know that everything’s ok with the pregnancy and her child, it’s ok if she wants to talk every once in a while about that or about something they brought for the baby, etc. I can tolerate that. However she wants to talk about her pregnancy/baby all the time we’re together.

“I think she’s testing my patience or something. Every time I try to talk about something else she somehow turns the conversation to her pregnancy, its irritating.”

“Like we could be talking about work and she turns the conversation about her maternity leave or something. Or we could be talking about something personal to me and she would tell me something regarding marriage and ‘when you’re a mum’ or stuff like that, it’s annoying.

“Yesterday I was having a bad day, honestly I had a bad week because I broke with my boyfriend and I had to work on Saturday, I was tired and just wasn’t in a good mood. We already had plans to have dinner together so as did not felt like going out I invited her to my house and we ordered take away.

“We ate and were talking afterwards. I was just ranting about life to her and such. And then she somehow turns the conversation again to her pregnancy. She started telling me about her back hurting and how she felt the baby kicking and such. She went on like that for like 10 minutes until I got tired of it and I told her so. I said, ‘I don’t care much about pregnancies, can we take about something else?’

“She was very angry and she told me she was telling me about something important to her, I told her that it’s only important to her, I don’t care to know every single detail of her pregnancy, and we can find something else to talk just for once. She got more upset and called me an a**hole and a bad friend. We argued and then she left. Now she’s angry and doesn’t answer my texts. Am I the a**hole? I feel like I acted wrong but she also is tiring with just talking about the pregnancy all the time and I snapped.

The woman says she was already feeling vulnerable after breaking up with her boyfriend over the subject of marriage and kids.

“H wants them and I don’t so it was a deal breaker for him. My friend knows this, she knows this was a big issue for us and she tells me all the time that I’ll change my mind about kids sooner or later. Maybe that’s part of the reason why I snapped too.”

What do you think of this situation? Who is at fault? Let us know in the comments below. 

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  • If things aren’t great now, not sure how it will be when bubs is born?


  • All relationships are give and take, however when they become one way for an extended period, then a rebalance needs to occur. Your friend hopefully will think about this disagreement and realise it’s been quite one side for awhile. If not unfortunately not all relationships are forever…a reason, a season and a lifetime.


  • Give the situation a little time to cool…then visit with a offering of a sweet treat, cake etc and explain you also deserve to be thought about and heard and the friendship is a two way street.


  • Friendship is about give and take and while pregnancy does tend to consume your every waking moment I can understand that at the time you probably wanted to talk about something else especially given your recent break up and the reasons surrounding it. You probably shouldnt have reacted the way you did but your friend could have been more sensitive to the situation as well.


  • It sounds like they were both tired and unwell and that didn’t help… I would say that if she can grit her teeth for a few months, she will eventually get more of her friend back. Pregnancy is huge but once you’ve had the baby it’s easier to find a bit of balance.


  • I understand both sides. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion


  • I can see both sides but you have to understand that at the moment her being pregnant is all consuming…..because it is and the fact that she has asked you along to the appointments shows how much she values you as a friend. She placed you high up the list and you pretty much just threw it back in her face so at the moment her not answering your texts is not just anger its deep and bitter hurt. She her flowers and a note saying you are very sorry for being such a twit.


  • It goes both ways! Being honest and having a conversation with each other is best

    • Absolutely! An honest and sensitive conversation might be in order.


  • I find it more annoying when they can’t stop talking about weddings… babies are at least cute!


  • Friendships are give and take, it’s pretty normal to talk about what’s happening in your own life, and for your friend that involves being pregnant.


  • I can understand both sides but your friend needs to realise not everyone wants to have children or they can’t carry a child. She should have curbed talking about her pregnancy knowing that you had just broken up with your boyfriend. She is lucky to have someone she can talk to besides her husband but I think she could have given it a rest for one day and focused on what you were going through. I’m hoping you can both reconcile your friendship and set boundaries on when it’s appropriate and when not to talk about pregnancy and children.


  • This is probably the wrong site to post this…
    Good or bad, pregnancy it all encompassing and self involving. The mother guess through physical brain changes so that she focuses only on providing and looking after her baby. She won’t have much left to give you at this time.

    • Sorry I disagree ..if this mum site is not the place to ask questions about this topic …what is.


  • In a friendship there should be space for both parties, give and take. I can understand it’s annoying your friend turns all conversations about herself and her pregnancy. It can be hard to tell a friend she’s annoying. I would step back for a bit, maybe your friend is going to think a bit and turn around.


  • Her friend is going through something big and all the body changes, etc. when you’re pregnant it’s all consuming and you don’t think about a lot of other things. I think both friends need to be understanding of each other. The pregnant friend may not be intentionally trying to make everything about her, but she needs to show care and support to her friend who is going through the breakup. Likewise the other friend needs to have patience with her pregnant friend and telling her she doesn’t care isn’t the best tack.


  • Friendships need to be equal. Life is not all about someone’s life.


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