Anyone who has been pregnant knows how all-consuming those nine months can be. So what happens if you’re childfree by choice, but your friend constantly brings up her pregnancy?
For one woman, it’s caused a huge rift with her friend of ten years. The 25-year-old has been friends with Kayla, 26, for the past decade, even though they have been drifting apart recently because of their different lifestyles.
“She got married and I am happy for her because that’s something she wanted, her husband also is a good man and that’s nice, I was her bridesmaid and celebrated her even though I’m not a big wedding person because obviously that was about supporting a friend and not about me,” she explained.
“Now she’s pregnant (around five months) and I’m also happy for her, she’s very excited to be a mum. I’m not a person who likes kids or wants them to myself, however I can be happy for the people around me who want them, I’m not one of those bitter childfree people who hate kids/parents.”
Kayla’s family doesn’t live nearby, so the woman says she’s been asked to go to Kayla’s antenatal appointments when her husband isn’t available. But it seems the pregnancy is now consuming all of their time together.
“I am happy to help her out and I don’t mind it. I also am happy to know that everything’s ok with the pregnancy and her child, it’s ok if she wants to talk every once in a while about that or about something they brought for the baby, etc. I can tolerate that. However she wants to talk about her pregnancy/baby all the time we’re together.
“I think she’s testing my patience or something. Every time I try to talk about something else she somehow turns the conversation to her pregnancy, its irritating.”
“Like we could be talking about work and she turns the conversation about her maternity leave or something. Or we could be talking about something personal to me and she would tell me something regarding marriage and ‘when you’re a mum’ or stuff like that, it’s annoying.
“Yesterday I was having a bad day, honestly I had a bad week because I broke with my boyfriend and I had to work on Saturday, I was tired and just wasn’t in a good mood. We already had plans to have dinner together so as did not felt like going out I invited her to my house and we ordered take away.
“We ate and were talking afterwards. I was just ranting about life to her and such. And then she somehow turns the conversation again to her pregnancy. She started telling me about her back hurting and how she felt the baby kicking and such. She went on like that for like 10 minutes until I got tired of it and I told her so. I said, ‘I don’t care much about pregnancies, can we take about something else?’
“She was very angry and she told me she was telling me about something important to her, I told her that it’s only important to her, I don’t care to know every single detail of her pregnancy, and we can find something else to talk just for once. She got more upset and called me an a**hole and a bad friend. We argued and then she left. Now she’s angry and doesn’t answer my texts. Am I the a**hole? I feel like I acted wrong but she also is tiring with just talking about the pregnancy all the time and I snapped.
The woman says she was already feeling vulnerable after breaking up with her boyfriend over the subject of marriage and kids.
“H wants them and I don’t so it was a deal breaker for him. My friend knows this, she knows this was a big issue for us and she tells me all the time that I’ll change my mind about kids sooner or later. Maybe that’s part of the reason why I snapped too.”
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