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A Mouths of Mums member says she’s feeling completely overwhelmed, after her eldest child, who still lives at home, revealed she’s pregnant to a Tinder date.

The distraught mum says she and her husband had been planning on her moving out and downsizing, but now their plans are up in the air, after her 20-year-old daughter announced her news.

“This evening our eldest ‘child’ announced that she is pregnant,” the mum explained on Mouths of Mums Answers.

“She lives at home with us and is not in a relationship. The ‘father’ was a Tinder date. She’s fairly confident that she knows who it is and has already told him. She doesn’t even know his surname. When she told him he said that he would want to be in the child’s life and would support her.

“She works in a casual job as well as having an Only Fans account. We are fortunate to be able to support her somewhat. However, I am feeling completely overwhelmed with everything.”

“We had all been planning her moving out in the next few months and now have to put that all on hold. My husband and I were going to be buying a one bedroom unit for her to live in, but now we will have to look for a two bedroom unit – thus pushing our finances to their absolute limit.

“I feel that our daughter is still a relatively a baby herself, she’s capable, but I can see she will do a lot of growing up very quickly. Any advice please? Especially about the father situation.”

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  • It might be wonderful for you all, or not! You will just have to take what comes and live with it. T=You never know – it just might be the most wonderful time of your life. Lots of love to give and no responsibility this time.

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  • I’d still go ahead with your original plans but remain close to her in case she needs you. She needs to grow up since she will soon have a baby of her own. You’re not always going to be there for her so let her know you’ll always be there for her but you are still going to do what you had planned before this happened

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  • She fell pregant and its her responsibility. Dont have sex without protection if you cannot handle the consequences. She needs to take responsibility, and move out.

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  • I think at the moment you are filled with so many negative questions, i completely understand your thoughts in regards to moving on with your lives etc but right now life has thrown a curve ball. At the moment your daughter needs your support/love and attention, im going to assume she is also in a world of hirt right now. In regards to the ‘dad’ good on him for saying that he will support her, takes a good man to do that in this day and age. I think show your support to her in accepting what is happening and either allow her to stay with you so your not in a financial deficiate or assist her with finding a rental property instead of purchasing. I hope all goes well ❤️

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  • Gosh I’m 43 and just had a baby and living with mum! Life doesn’t always go to plan… and look babies have a way of bringing people together so I’m sure it’ll all feel worth it in 9 months time! Re dad
    .. support engagement as much as possible and take it as it comes!

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  • This is so tricky. You and your husband are obviously in the next stage of your life where you’re expecting to be empty nesters and this has definitely thrown a spanner in the works. Clearly this requires a discussion with your daughter of what her expectations are. Don’t just assume she wants to stay home (even though she may). If she does, you will clearly need to set boundaries on finances, support, etc. Once the shock wears off, you may see things differently. Just take a little time to process.

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  • I’m not sure why the mother is freaking out. If my daughter fell pregnant at 20 id probably all be glad she lived at home so we can be as supportive as possible. Its great the father wants to be a part of the babies life.

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  • It’s good that the father wants to be part of the child’s life. He will be able to contribute financially as well. Your daughter is very lucky to have parents like you who are in a position to help her out. There’s a lot of people a lot less fortunate.

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  • I never understand this, I guess it’s because of my background but we never tell family you have to move out. My mother would have loved me and my sisters to always stay and live at home. See was so up set when we left you would not believe it.
    When I got pregnant my partner didn’t want the baby I wouldn’t get rid of it. My mum was so happy to be a grandmother again and got me to move in with her. Her love is what a mother should do.
    I couldn’t ever think of doing it without my mother. You sound more upset about what you want to do. Very selfish for a mother. Most people would be happy to be grandparents then complain.
    I feel sorry for your daughter, she needs love not judgement

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  • Your daughter is being very unfair in expecting you to take care of her as much as you have. Sounds like it’s about time she stood on her own two feet or she will never learn independence. I wouldn’t be buying her a unit, it’s not like she can’t rent a place and the father will have to contribute one way or the other.

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  • She’ll have a lot of growing up to do and will need support. I’d be letting her stay at home for now sharing with her baby. I wouldn’t be giving her other accommodation before seeing how she copes. Let her take on the responsibility. I’d be taking it slowly with the father until it is proven. You have no idea what he is like.

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  • I can understand you feel overwhelmed, I think that’s natural when something happens you didn’t expect. You mention your daughter is still relatively a baby and that you can see she will do a lot of growing up very quickly, maybe that’s what needed too. She will have to learn responsibility sooner or later in life, also financial responsibility. At 20 she’s an adult.

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  • Wow that is a tough situation for you. I hope things work out for everyone involved. She should reach out to Centrelink for support and see what she can get from them to start kicking off her own life with her baby. She needs to take some responsibility for what has happened and not think she can just live at home.

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  • You are good parents to let her stay. And dont push yourself to a 2-bedroom..you didnt ask for it. Let her stay till she is a bit settled with the child then help her sort her finances and move into a 2 bedroom where you pay the upfront and she pays the instalments. Her date can help cz he has chipped in to be a part of their lives.

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  • I’d let her stay home with you the first year get her sorted, into a routine, into a full time job bub in childcare, tell her you will put such and such amount together for a morgage, she can them buy a 3 bedroom place get another single mum to rent the other room kids share a room. She’s got more help then most not renting herself

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  • Oh goodness, good luck.
    Maybe the baby daddy can help with finding a place to live if he has offered support.

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  • What a lovely mum you are . It’s time to let your little one fly now . If you feel the need to give your child an apartment how about the deposit and she can make the repayments . Then it’s time for the talk , if it’s not on , it’s not on ( condoms) and also she needs to talk to the doctor about future birth control and std tests ASAP .


    • I did not think of this – STD testing is a great point!

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  • Your daughter will always need your help (to a degree)
    If the father of the child wants to be in the babies life that is a positive. She won’t be on her own bringing the baby up which maybe will help her grow up a bit.

    If you put your life plans on hold now due to this situation, you will always be putting your plans on hold. If it’s because of your daughter being pregnant now, what will the next drama be?
    Yes 20 seems young and some people are still young at 30 so how long will you put your life on hold?
    Give your daughter a deposit for a unit, don’t pay for it, this will make her grow up a bit. Especially if she has to take responsibility for her life.
    As parents we must teach our children to be independent.

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  • Sounds like a situation no parent would want for their daughter. It sounds like she needs to grow up a bit, you shouldn’t be financially responsible for her

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  • For you to buy her a unit to begin with is so nice!

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