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One mum recently opened up on Facebook about having a hard time with the transition into motherhood, and about the “mum friends” she didn’t know she needed.

UK mum of one, Gylisa Jayne, explains in the viral post that she never wanted to be in a mum clique, sitting around talking about brands of diapers and the hottest educational toys for babies. It all just seemed so … cliché.

But being a mum turned out to be harder than she thought, and despite her husband’s best efforts, Jayne longed for someone who understood exactly what she was going through a little better:

“I never wanted ‘ Mummy Friends’.
I didn’t want to sit in noisy soft plays, or talk about different coloured shit.
I didn’t want to have knowledge about best nappy brands, or know exactly how many fanny stitches we all had.
I had a preconceived idea that Mummy Groups were vicious cliques, and I hadn’t been in one at school – I didn’t plan to start now.
I didn’t need them anyway, I had my soul mate – my baby daddy. The man I had chosen for this journey. He would be there for everything. I didn’t need anyone else.
Then I had a baby, and I needed someone.
The network I should have had, simply wasn’t there.
My midwives were too busy, I hadn’t met any of them twice.
My Health Visitor was a vanishing woman – still talking about phone numbers and triages and children’s centres id never heard of as she walked herself out. Never to be seen again.
Then there was my partner. My chosen mate. The first love of my life. The man that knew what I needed before I did.
Only he didn’t understand me anymore.
He was trying to figure out his Dad Role.
He didn’t understand why I was crying
about putting the kettle in the fridge.
He didn’t know why I’d forgotten to take the parcels to the post office.
He didn’t know why I had no love left over for him.
I didn’t want ‘ Mummy Friends’.
Until I realised that no one else would understand me like they did.
The ones that had been there, done that.
The ones that were fumbling through for the first time – just like me.
The ones who had had every argument you can imagine with their husband.
The ones proving you didn’t need to lose yourself along the way. That you’ll find a new you as you go.
The ones who needed me just as much as I needed them.
I made them laugh, and they made me howl with our observations of this bizarrely fabulous and horrendous journey.
There was no clique, just women loving women – despite what you might have heard.
I had love left over for my partner again then. Because he might not get it – but there were scores of women that did.
So I didn’t want ‘Mummy Friends’…

I needed them.”

Her post has attracted over 6,000 comments, nearly 8,000 shares and 22,000 reactions.

Find your tribe and love them hard!

Can you relate to what this mum is saying?

Share your comments below

Image via Facbeook

  • yeah it’s good to have other mums around especially if their bubs are around the same age as your own. If their bubs are a few months older than yours, that’s even better because they will have just freshly gone through the same sort of milestones that your bub is now going through and their advice can be invaluable to you

    Reply

  • THe Mum got a rude shock when she had a baby of her own.
    She now knows why Mum’s groups lessen the risk of isolation.
    Father’s groups are good for Fathers too.

    Reply

  • I don’t agree with her because we need to be together this is life

    Reply

  • a great group of friends will understand, will know what to do and will always be there no matter what. They are the extension of family that don’t judge and will pick you up when no one else can. I love my mum friends :)

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  • I’m sure alot people agree with what she is saying!

    Reply

  • Yes I can relate very well to this. I didn’t like the traditional mum groups or baby groups either, but in the end of the day we all need friends to laugh and cry with, to share concerns and to be understood. I’m grateful for my friends !


    • I am grateful for friends too – they have your back and that is what counts! :)

    Reply

  • We live remote so no friends or family within 2500km. I speak to people at soccer or the kids school but haven’t had a friend chat in almost 10yrs. Pregnancy and having kids nearly destroyed us but we made it and are making up for it all now.

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  • This is true for many people.

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  • As long as you don’t ignore and alienate your non Mummy friends.

    Reply

  • Very well said!

    Reply

  • Everyone needs someone to share their experiences with and also laugh with too.

    Reply

  • I think that sharing your battles with someone else that is facing the same, makes everything easier. You just need to find the right people. :-)

    Reply

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