A mum has asked if she is being unreasonable to think that no relationship is worth the challenges that come with being a step-parent.
A mum has shared her experience of being a step-mum and asked if she is being unreasonable to admit she wouldn’t go through it again knowing what she knows now.
The mum says that despite her love for her husband, she would never have married him if she had known the heartache and rollercoaster of emotions she would face as a step-parent.
Too Much Baggage
Despite reiterating her love for her step-children, the mum says it hasn’t always been smooth-sailing.
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“I am very fond of my (now grown-up) stepchildren, but to say it has been hard (and continues to be) is an understatement,” she said in her post.
“If I knew then what I know now, I never would have entered into a relationship with my husband, as much as I love him.”
The mum says that she began reflecting on her own experience after her friend’s son announced he was getting married to a woman who already has two children of her own.
“Am I being unreasonable to slightly judge his choice?” she asked.
“This is a question about whether it is a good choice to be a step-parent at all and whether, given the choice, we would all be better if we didn’t choose a partner with kids from a previous relationship.”
A Fine Line
Comments on the mum’s post were mixed, with some saying they could understand her perspective given their own experience.
“I purposely chose not to date a man who already had children because blended families sound so complicated and crap,” one forum user said.
“On the flip side, it would hurt to be cast aside by men purely because I already had children.”
“I love my step-daughter and wouldn’t change things but I wouldn’t recommend it,” said another.
“It’s very hard work and often quite thankless.”
With divorce rates continuing to rise and many single parents looking for love, we think this mum might be letting her own experience of being a step-parent cloud her judgment. While it isn’t easy, being a step-parent can also be an incredibly rewarding role to play in a person’s life.
Are you a step-parent or do you have a step-parent? Share your thoughts in the comments.