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What’s the point of growing up and pretending to be a well functioning adult if the same petty nonsense is still able to hurt your heart and make you feel like a left out, lonely child all over again?

If instead of being the one kid out of thirty students that didn’t receive a birthday party invitation, you’re now the one out of ten adults who didn’t get an invite to the luncheon party.

Those simple little things that could eat away at you as a child still have the power to make you question why you’re the odd one out as an adult and it’s even worse as a grownup because somehow it’s far more consuming!

Why Wasn’t I Invited?

Time consuming! Instead of watching a movie, reading a book, playing with the kids or just getting one of the million tasks you need to complete done, you’re mindlessly running through a list of possibilities as to why you weren’t included. All the things you assume could be wrong with yourself. All the reasons why they didn’t want to include you.

Self consuming! By looking for flaws about yourself you’re actually treating yourself worse than the so called ‘friends’ who excluded you.

Physically consuming! If you haven’t already realised, bullying yourself by focusing or looking for your ‘flaws’ could see you giving yourself a massive migraine or even worse!

Look at the facts:

They left you out. Had a great time together. Probably didn’t even think about you. And you know what else? It may even have been unintentional, hopefully! They could have forgotten to invite you because they were doing a multitude of tasks at the same time, or maybe they just didn’t want you to be there as badly as you wanted to be.

Alternatively, they could be brutally honest and tell you that you aren’t in the “purple circle”. And if you’ve already been making yourself feel awful for not fitting in, are you really going to be strong enough to hear those words or see them typed out in a text…

I’ll Survive!

You know what though? It’s ok!

You survived!

Whatever the case may be, you made it through being excluded. And as an added bonus, you didn’t waste your time being around people who really didn’t want you being there in the first place!

Keep the ball rolling, and be mindful of the time you are saving by not allowing your thoughts to be consumed by the isolation or incident.

You Can CHOOSE Your Friends!

Here’s the wonderful thing about being an adult- you aren’t restricted to being in a classroom or a school with those types of people anymore!

The kind who forget you. Or leave you out unintentionally or even intentionally.

You aren’t limited to the friends you have at work or online or in a social media group chat!

Find Your Tribe

You’re a grownup! And you are free to be yourself without judgement, and hopefully without judging others and this means you can continue to roam until you find your tribe.

And of course when you are lucky enough to find your tribe, please, love them hard, because you know what it’s like to be left out!

… if you’re a blessed to be a mother, you might already have your beautiful little tribe, staring straight at you. Open your eyes, let the love in and share it around, because at the end of it all, love is all that remains and if that isn’t the greatest “purple circle” you will ever be let in to, I don’t know what is…

Have you ever been excluded or not invited to an event as an adult? How did you feel? Tell us in the comments below!

  • It can be hurtful but if they are leaving you out then they probably aren’t real friends anyway.

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  • I hate this feeling too, but it was so nice to read all the comments and to see that others feel the same way and that we are all dealing with it the best way we can!

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  • I think it hurts even more as an adult because you can’t just put it down to kids being cruel or not knowing any better.

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  • It’s soo true, I know this feeling all too well! Hurts being the adult left out. But the article is also true in you have your own tribe, may it be small or large, those kids will love you and always want YOU be the one that’s next to them (until they grow up of course!)

    Reply

  • I hate the feeling of being left out, it is honestly so mean. I wish it didn’t happen but it does.

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  • It’s just as hard when this happens as an adult. But the poster is correct we arnt refined to a classroom with these people. We are free to roam and find new friends.

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  • All the time, but it is what it is

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  • It’s interesting how as kids we believe that things like this won’t bother us when we are “grown ups” as if these feeling suddenly change as if by magic!
    I’d like to think that things like this don’t bother me, and I guess they mostly don’t, but every once in a while they do.

    I wonder what our future generations will be like when they don’t even learn these magical coping skills as kids because we now shield them entirely from disappointment of missing out. In my middle child’s class all the kids are invited to parties so that nobody is left out. Or in the case of the eldest child’s classes the teacher sneaks invitations into the kids bags so nobody who isn’t invited knows.

    It doesn’t give kids the ability to work through their emotions of not being invited or the skills to say sorry I didn’t invite you but I still want to be friends. It’s going to be an interesting future.

    Reply

  • I am very often left out as English is not my first language and I just don’t like to talk to other people because of that


    • Aw I’m sorry to hear. English isn’t my first language either.

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  • Yep I know the feeling, it does hurt at times but then again chances are I probably would have to say no to the invitations and everyone knows it so donn’t bother asking?

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  • Being a disable agoraphobic I am always lonely

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  • I felt this couple of times. This makes me really sad.

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  • Occasionally I’ve been left out but I didn’t really dwell on it wondering why because I’d rather focus on the positives in my life.

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  • To be left out is never a nice thing to experience, but it does say something about the quality of the relationship you have/had with the person who left you out. It doesn’t crack my confidence anymore

    Reply

  • Yes and it definitely hurts, it leaves u wondering what you did or didn’t do.

    Reply

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