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May 26, 2017

7 Comments

Mum shares a letter to her tween daughter after the horror of a recent terror attack during a concert in Manchester.

To my daughter,

When you first told me you’d been offered an Ariana Grande ticket by your best friend for her birthday gift, I was worried.

Because I wasn’t sure if it were age appropriate for an 11 yr old, like, a catsuit? whoa. Because you have anxiety and there would be such a big crowd. I even worried you might get lost in it and separated from your friend.

I worried you’d expect me to take you to expensive concerts every time your favourite pop stars were in the country, that I’d get nagged once you’d gotten a taste of live music and we all know deep down I’m an introvert when you put me in a crowd without the control of having the microphone.

But I put those worries aside, and I said yes.

Because you’re 11, and I’m your mother. As your mother, it’s my job to do the worrying for you about those grownup things. It’s your job to see the world through the eyes of an innocent child, and my job to risk assess and make sure you’re as safe as you are both loved and happy.

Then the Manchester attack happened.

We already shield you from most of the news, because it’s scary. These shitty, life destroying, one off events are pumped through mainstream media like they’re daily occurrences the next suburb over. But you found out at school the same day.

The rest of the tour was cancelled, including your concert in Australia.. and I have a new set of worries because damnit, I have anxiety too…


Related story – How to speak to your kids about the terrible tragedy


How does one deal with this situation as a parent?

My 11 year old knowing people and kids with the exact same concert ticket as her lost their lives?

This isn’t in any of my ‘raising tweens’ guides, that’s for damn sure. We’ll talk about everything you want and need to, I’ve read all the ‘guides to talking to your tween about the Manchester Attacks.’ I know more than I ever wanted to.

But THEN what do I do?

Lolly, my darling, I will take you to every damn concert, live event, pop concert I can find and have time for. We all know I’ll get nagged once you get a taste of live music. And that’s exactly what SHOULD happen.

As a child, it’s your job to experience the beauty of music. Art, friendship. Micro communities, bonding over common interests to find and meet people you’d never otherwise have met. Having experiences you’d never had the option to, with countless other art and music lovers.

I want you to feel and experience that joy while you’re still an innocent child. I want it to truly resonate within you that without joy, without beauty and art and friendship and experiences and life, what are we even living our best lives for?

We can’t live in fear, in avoidance, and we certainly can’t live in terror of the next attack.

It’s your job to see the world through the eyes of an innocent child. Because you’re 11.

It’s my job to do the worrying for you about those grownup things.

And because I’m your mother, it’s also my job to make sure your world keeps turning.


Related story – Dads open letter to Ariana Grande, “Fans aren’t going anywhere”


This post originally appeared on katabianac.com and has been shared with full permission.

Share your comments below.

Photo provided, www.lifeisbeautiful.com.au

  • the world is a different place now and we have to stop pretending otherwise. it is sad that we no longer have that freedom and full safety that we once enjoyed

    Reply

  • These types of tragedies are making it more difficult for parents to give their children the independence at the same age that others were a year ago.

    Reply

  • Yes, it’s all scary. We have talked to our kids about risk assessment, and stressed tat the risks are still pretty low.

    Reply

  • I must admit I am more fearful than I’ve ever been. The Manchester attack was scary for a number of reasons (1) it was an attack on youngsters (2) it happened in a large city but one we don’t often think about and (3) how did the bomber get past security checks at the venue?

    Reply

  • Such a very hard world these days to grow up in.

    Reply

  • I think we all can relate to this article and have or have had are worries which we need to give a healthy place and balance !

    Reply

  • When I look at the world now I do fear for my younger children. My older children in their early 30’s have more freedom growing up then my younger ones. I have a teen and 2 four year olds, what sort of life are they growing up in that we we have to worry about these sort of things. There was another story about a 3 yo who was standing on her toilet at home, her mum thought it cute until she found out her daughter was practising her training from school where they hide by standing on the toilet at school. A supposedly safe place.

    Reply

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