Love from Inside Out - Love yourself first to better love your family

When you believe, know and treat yourself as ‘loved’ you’ll understand and accept it as the ONLY foundation on which unconditional love, compassion and a drive to serve others in your unique way evolves.

The perception that loving yourself first is the key to being able to do the most good for yourself, your family and others; doesn’t come naturally especially to us mothers.

We’ve been conditioned to think that self-love is selfish and the only good we do in the world is when we give and do for others. We accept the constant feeling of exhaustion from doing and giving way too much out of love and duty, as the norm.

Yet as young women we made time to treat and pamper ourselves, to do the things we knew would make us feel good, to hang out with our friends and participate in the things we enjoyed.

Should anything get in the way of our plans we would move hell or high water to achieve it. Failing that there was always ‘plan b’ which involved some kind of manipulation of parents or grandparents or the bribing of siblings. Nothing and I mean NOTHING could get in the way of a determined young lady!

Our responsibilities grow while self-love and self-care shrink

Why then as mothers do we not have the same fortitude for taking care of ourselves and getting our needs met?

As adults we take on the roles of wife, mother, employee or business owner, school/community committee member, chief fundraiser as well as ‘extra-curricular’ activities for school and sporting events and more. ‘Wham,’ almost overnight our responsibilities grow while the level of ‘self-love and self-care’ shrink. Do you see yourself in this picture?

The relationship with yourself is a life long commitment;- when you fail to care and love yourself you end up resenting your responsibilities including the care of your little ‘darlings’ and other loved ones. When you disregard your needs you tell the world that you are not worthy of love and care so it will give you exactly what you believe you deserve.

Make the time to pay regular attention to your self-care and be self-aware to do the things that keep you happy. Treating yourself with the love you bestow your family and staying happy is your responsibility not someone else’s. To end on another happy note, self-love ensures you contribute more generously, have endless energy and unlimited love without any resentment towards your little ‘darlings.‘

A happy well rounded family environment prioritizes the care, love and appreciation of each individual. This level of care is evident where-ever your children go. A ‘happy mummy, fosters a happy family.’

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79 Comments

- - mom92217 said
  - 13 Apr 2015
    2:24 pm
Love this thanks for shar

- - tam_watters said
  - 12 Nov 2014
    8:28 pm
Very good points. Many mums think its being selfish but spending time and money on yourself is essential to happy family life.

- - Missie said
  - 28 Oct 2014
    12:13 pm
Its true and the amount of times I have heard family and friends say to me ” You have to have you time, as well”, and I usually just laugh and say, naaaah, all good. But now… I realise its true.. and I am trying!

- - mom57522 said
  - 31 Aug 2014
    3:21 pm
It’s true, when I do something for myself, I feel so much better, that I’m nicer to be around.

- - hayley91 said
  - 29 Jul 2014
    12:11 pm
Their is some good points that ill be trying in everyday life thank u

- - cairnsbliss said
  - 19 Jun 2014
    9:59 pm
Too true. Even when I have a shower then do a mask and some night cream, I feel so much better, Simple but makes me feel great.

- - eestigirl said
  - 14 Jun 2014
    4:07 pm
Sometimes our real responsibilities ( not the optional extras ) have to take priority and our old ways of pampering just don’t feature much in the way our self love looks while we go through some family crisis.That’s when we need resilience to keep going and to be very aware of taking care to eat regularly and healthily, and do some kind of physical activity, even if it is for a brief time. Hopefully things will improve and we can get back to allowing ourselves to take some time “off duty” to feel like a person again. Sometimes it will have to be just a little “me time” during toddler nap time, but still make a point of not always running ourselves ragged. If we continually live every day as if we are in crisis it will take a toll on the whole family.

- - Mum2Belle said
  - 12 Jun 2014
    5:29 pm
So true! Now that I have a daughter I want ro be a positive role model for her and that starts with loving myself…

- - catgrrl3 said
  - 27 May 2014
    5:24 pm
this is soooo true, you can never trully love someone else till you love yourself

- - christial said
  - 18 May 2014
    8:10 pm
So true! Many people neglect themselves in an attempt to care for others!

- - Sally-anne said
  - 01 Apr 2014
    10:51 pm
Very interesting read, thanks so much

- - jenny9761 said
  - 06 Mar 2014
    2:01 pm
Thanks for the good read

- - ljsalomon said
  - 03 Jan 2014
    11:43 pm
Enjoyed reading – thanks for sharing.

- - mle00 said
  - 01 Jan 2014
    2:28 pm
I believe that to appreciate and care for others you first must love and care for yourself, great article it provides food for thought.
- ginoula5 replied
  
  24 Aug 2014 , 8:17 pm
  Completely agree with you too, we must learn to love and accept ourselves.
- - coppin85 said
  - 31 Dec 2013
    10:30 pm
I need to take this advice myself!!!

- - meegstar_b said
  - 27 Dec 2013
    7:01 pm
This is great advice, for some people it’s going to be harder than for others but if we practice treating ourselves kindly it becomes a habit, same with self talk, negative self talk is a killer, it’s really important to talk to ourselves in a kind way tell yourself you are a good capable person who deserves love and eventually you will believe it and it will become natural.

- - catlover said
  - 24 Dec 2013
    8:40 am
Exactly! I hope people learn from this!

- - sonja_holness said
  - 24 Nov 2013
    6:08 pm
Fantastic advice, if only we all followed it.

- - shelbyward said
  - 04 Nov 2013
    8:05 pm
My mother taught me the same thing!

- - shazzajt said
  - 04 Nov 2013
    11:50 am
I love myself more now then i ever did..my family mean the world to me..so its important to take care of not just myself but my family too.