The MoM Team became very emotional after reading this letter from a restaurant manager to an autistic girl’s mum.

“To the woman and child who sat at table 9,

I did not introduce myself to you. My name is Tony Posnanski. I have been a restaurant manager for fifteen years now. My day consists of making sure my restaurant runs well. That could mean washing dishes, cooking and sometimes even serving tables. I have also dealt with every guest complaint you can imagine.

A few weeks back you came into my restaurant. I was very busy that night. I was running around helping the kitchen cook food. I was asked to talk to a table close to yours. I did and they said your child was being very loud. I heard some yelling while I was talking to that table. I heard a very loud beep from a young girl.

I started to walk to your table. You knew what I was going to ask. You saw the table I just spoke to pointing at you. I got to your table and you looked at me. You wanted the first word. You said …

Do you know what it is like to have a child with autism?

You were not rude when you asked the question. In fact, you were quite sincere. Your daughter could not have been more than five years old. She was beautiful and looked scared that I was at the table. She looked like she thought she was in trouble.

In fifteen years I do not have a lot of memorable moments as a restaurant manager. I remember some guests who were mad that their burger was not the way they wanted it. I remember a woman who called corporate on me because she said I gave her a regular Coke instead of a Diet Coke. I remember having to cut people off from drinking alcohol and I remember having to tell tables to have their child be quieter.

However, I do remember everything about the day my son was born. How I cried when I heard him cry. How I stood there and told him I would do anything for him and be the best father possible. I remember the day I married my wife. How I cried and promised to be the best husband possible. I remember the day my daughter was born. I did not cry that day. I was just so relieved because I lost a child two years earlier.

I know what I was supposed to say when I went to your table. I was supposed to politely tell you to please not have your daughter yell. I was supposed to offer to move you to another area. I was supposed to offend you by not offending you …

I did not do any of that.

Instead I just told you I hoped your meal was awesome. I high fived your daughter and then I told you that your meal was on us tonight. It was only sixteen dollars. It meant more to me than that. I do not think the other guests I spoke to were happy about it. At that moment it did not matter to me.

“Do you know what it is like to have a child with autism?”

I do not know how you reacted. I had to leave to go cook because the kitchen was not doing very good that night. When the server asked me why I bought the food I just said you did not enjoy your steak. I did not tell anyone what you said to me. I was thankful you did say it to me though.

You asked me a question that I did not answer. The truth is I do not know what it is like to have a child with autism. I know what it is like to be a father. I know what it is like to be a husband. I know what it is like to not tell his wife how much he loves her enough. I know what it is like to want to spend more time with his children.

You asked me the question right away. You have been through this before in other restaurants. I did not want to be like other managers for one moment. I did not want to tell you what you always heard.

Honestly, I wrote this to you and your beautiful daughter because I wanted to thank you both.

You have given me a great restaurant memory. One that I needed for the last fifteen years.

You also taught me a valuable lesson …Sometimes doing the right thing does not make everyone happy; just the people who need it the most.


Tony Posnanski”

This letter was posted on news.com.au

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  • Finally a happy article


  • I know a young boy with the highest degree of Autism. He has a very loud voice too. At the same time he sometimes reacts to loud noise around him including people talking louder than he can cope with. He is also a “fussy” eater and his Mum has that to cope with too.


  • Wow, I can’t believe he took the time out to write a letter. He must have been impressed or touched or something


  • Really interesting article! Thanks for sharing this!


  • Am I holding back tears because I’m pregnant? No. Because I know what it’s like to have a child with Autism? No, although I remember my school bus had one on it. Was it emotional? Enormously however the biggest thing is that there is someone out there that was kind enough to give someone who needed it a smile. It really does renew your faith in humanity after a day when you have seen nothing but arrogance and ignorance. Thank you mom for sharing


  • I love this. Thanks for sharing.


  • That was so lovely to read what a kind hearted man we need more of them on this earth


  • My concern regarding small children is people letting them run around and not watching them at all. They run into people including staff carrying hot food, play next to doors that open and close automatically. It was the Mum’s friend who suddenly realised the small toddler was missing, searched for and rescued her from a dangerous spot.
    A child that young regardless of whether there is a medical condition or not is often noisy anyway, even more so when they are in a different environment.


  • This brought a tear to my eye, so lovely and touching, thank you for sharing.


  • Wow that was great to read – thank you x


  • Children will be children no matter the circumstance, if people don’t want to be disturb than go to restaurant that doesn’t allow children. I guarantee most of these people aren’t parents. To the lovely manager thank you for being soooooo nice I’m sure the mother left your restaurant with a huge smile on her face


  • That is a truly beautiful letter.


  • very touching… It is heart warming to know that there are still people like this out there.


  • a lovely story, I am glad some people are still humane


  • That letter was very emotional and brought a tear or two to my eyes thank you for sharing.


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