A MUM-OF-FOUR has been slammed for letting her under-fives stay up until midnight and judging her SIL for not doing the same.

Sharing on the forum Mumsnet, the woman explained she has one child of school age, and three others under the age of five – whose normal bedtime is 9pm.

RogerThatOver wrote: “Mine go to bed at 9 and get up at around 8, sometimes later at the weekend.

“We can have full days out, if there’s a party or wedding they can happily stay up until midnight.

“We can go to the park til bedtime in the summer and never need to rush home.

“They have an older sibling at school and are all ready on time to take her at 8.30 so their bedtime won’t need major adjustment when they start school.”

Roger added that her in-laws are “very judgey” about her kids’ routines, even though her sister-in-law is exhausted by her own kids waking early.

“They get up at 5/5.30 which she complains about endlessly but what does she expect if they go to bed so early (by 6pm)?” she added.

“AIBU (am I being unreasonable) to not understand the obsession with her early bedtimes?”

Many of the mums weren’t very sympathetic and suggested Roger was actually the judgemental one.

“Just stop worrying about what they are doing and concentrate on your own thing and tell her to do the same.”

mumsnet post

We recently shared a post from a Mum who shared how she often feels judged for sticking to routine with her children. Read that HERE.

I like a bit of a routine of an evening. I need that quiet time after the kids go to bed without them asking questions and needing stuff.

It is quite different when they are little and have day naps though. They can be so precious of an evening and so placid that you just don’t want them to leave your side.

Do you have a firm bedtime routine or are you pretty relaxed like RogerThatOver?

Share your comments below.

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  • I always found a set routine was best for my kids as well as for me.


  • We found once our youngsters completely stopped their day time naps they needed to get more sleep overnight. My Mum and Dad were minding my nephew when his Mum was sick I happened to be doing overtime. He wanted to stay up until I got home but got too tired and really cranky. When I got home he was half asleep and impossible to reason with. I talked to him, explained to him he had to go to bed when he got tired and I would see him before I went to work the next morning. Guess What!!! He was still asleep when I finished my breakfast next morning, then couldn’t stay awake when I briefly woke him so he knew I kept my promise to him. Just proved he needed the sleep. Fortunately I didn’t have to work overtime every night.


  • We have a set routine for the most part.


  • We have a bedtime routine and our kids are not up ridiculously early either and it’s all in the discipline really too. If my daughter does wake up a little earlier than I want to be up she is happy to read a book quietly for a bit. Bedtimes in our house are between 7.30 and 8pm. Midnight is ridiculous especially if one kid is in school that can’t be healthy kids need 12 hours of sleep each night so even if they are going at 9pm and getting up at 8am it’s still an hour short of what they should be getting. Not getting enough sleep could affect a child’s development.


  • We have a routine bedtime ritual here, 7yrs & 2yrs. Older one stays up later but usually asleep by 8 on week days. I too like the quiet time before my bedtime & so does hubby. We are all early risers. We both work. Each to their own.


  • My son’s bedtime routine has always differed to others and I simply don’t care. My hubby and I know what my son needs and how much sleep he needs to function properly. We’ve had a few battles, but at the end of the day our son now realises how much sleep he needs to function and he’s now 16!!


  • I too am pretty keen on quiet time after they’ve gone to bed. Look, each to their own, but I’m not sure her kids are getting enough sleep. But she knows them better than I do!


  • Bed time here for the younger ones is 7-7.30pm week days and maybe later on Friday and Saturday nights. Their teen sister goes to bed at 8-8.30 most nights with late nights on Friday/Saturday, her older brothers well that is their problem. Children need a good night sleep, yes they can stay up late but are tired in the morning.


  • Firm bedtime routine over here. I myself need the time once the kids are in bed to unwind from the day. My kids go to bed at 7pm week nights and I let them stay up til 8.30 on the weekends if they are being well behaved.


  • My boys were always in bed by 8pm but could talk and play in their room until we went to bed. Then it was lights out and no more talking. They were always up, dressed and ready for school on time. All kids are different so as long as it works out, why worry what others think of their routine

    • I agree – not sure why people worry so much about what others think of their routines.


  • We have routines for week and weekend bedtimes for everyone in the family. Everyone needs enough sleep to be healthy and be ready to tackle each day.


  • I think it depends on what time you want your kids up and awake. As long as they get the hours they personally need on a regular basis, an occasionally late night should not be an issue.


  • School nights are structured, weekends are more flexible.


  • We have a fairly regular routine.


  • My youngest (nearly 4 yrs old) has Down Syndrome and is quite sensitive for structure and routine. She goes to bed around 7pm. My older kids (aged between 7-13 yrs) go in the pj’s & brush teeth between 7 and 8pm and to bed between 8 and 9pm during the week. In the weekend later if they like.


  • We have a loose routine on the weekends but are a bit more strict during the week.


  • We have a routine but its not set in stone. What this mum may not realise is that some kids wake up at 5am no matter what time they went to bed. So if they were going 9pm to 5am every single day it wouldn’t take them long as all to get very burnt out. It really depends on the kid.


  • My daughter gets into her jammies around 7pm when her tablet time is over. She then winds down for the next hour or so and is normally in bed by around 8.30pm. She seems to do this naturally without pressure from us.

    Have found this a good time for our family. She’s an early riser though as she likes to get up at 6am with her dad & spend time with just him before he goes to work.

    We were more comcerned when developing a routine that she’d sleep wherever rather than just her own bed which I’ve seen from her cousin can bring a whole new set of problems… lol


  • Isn’t it common sense that kids need sleep to grow and thrive? Occasionally, fir special events, my kids would have a late night, but not regularly


  • I find midnight absolutely too late for such young kids. But I think 6 pm is absolutely too early!! :-)
    My daughter always went to bed around 8:30, that became 9 growing up.


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