My middle daughter was bullied by a boy who was older and bigger. He would shove her and trip her up, etc. I spoke to the school and they told me about this poor boy. The teasing kept on. In the end my eldest came home and told me that she had sorted out the bully. She had grabbed him and shoved him up against a tree and told him if he dare touched her sister ever again she would bash his head in. I was shoced and told her that I didnt think she should have done that but it worked and there was no further problem with this kid.

My daughter was bullied and daren’t fight back because she had a Police caution from 2004 when she was 10 years old. She was bullied by a girl of her own age but only when the girl had older girls with her. I told my daughter if she felt threatened she should get the first punch in and I’d deal with the consequences. One tea time 2 Police officers called to arrest her for assault because as the girl and an ally had approached her 3 weeks earlier my daughter had grabbed her hair, spun her round and pushed her away, result?, Police Caution for assaulting a minor. She was 10 years and 1 month old, her bully, the minor was 10 years and 3 months old, this caution would be removed when she reached 18 or 21 however, in the meantime Ian Huntley committed the Soham Murders. It transpired that Huntley had been cautioned as a juvenile and so the law was changed and cautions remain on record for life now so for doing as her dad had told her, my daughter has a criminal record for Assaulting A Minor even though the minor was older than her. Please think before encouraging your child to fight back, it isn’t self defence if your child isn’t hit first. Yes, the law is an ass.

Yes I can sympathise and no I wouldn’t do the same

Good on her. I would have done something more drastic by now. I’ve always taught my kids to never hit first but also to never just take being bullied. Don’t start it, but finish it. If speaking to them does nothing, hit them back as hard as you possibly can. Most bullies pick on kids because of a power trip and they will stop if they keep getting hurt. And yes I tell my kids the spots to target. Throat, nose, eyes, hair, groin, back of knees

Being strong and not showing emotion like being afraid can help.i will probably not encourage my kids to fight but to not let other to threat them.

This is a right way to treat bullies because bullies always pick on kids they think are weak or can’t stand in front of them, so the only option to stop these bullies is to stand up against them and show them that they are not weak. This mum is not wrong she is telling her daughter the right thing and that is standing for her right to be respected and treated well. I would do the same.

I understand exactly what is happening. My youngest was bullied at school and the principal just said “They’re just being kids so let them work it out for themselves”. His cousin saw the bully pushing him around and hitting him so he walked up and pushed the bully over. The outcome was the bully got a band-aid and special attention, my son was ignored and his cousin was expelled for a week. At the time my son was 6, his cousin was 6 and the bully was 8. I couldn’t believe it and told the principal exactly what I thought of him.

• • 
  • • Ellen replied
    • 15 Mar 2022 , 4:55 am

  ---

  

  Oh my goodness tessie, that’s horrible !

This is a tough one but I wouldn’t rule this out if my kids were bullied & nothing else was working.
I was bullied for most of my childhood & then I got bullied when I entered the workplace. It’s something that I have had to put up with all my life so I know how it feels & how much you want it to stop.

I hate bullies and its not only Kids that get bullied these days Adults as well

This is such a tough one! When my child is intimidated by kids at school, you do want them to knock the bull on their a$$, in the hopes that it deters future bullying. However, we insist that they take the higher path and inform their teachers when issues arise.
My husband was bullied a lot in high school and he did punch his bully in the face. It did solve his issue, but he also became a bully. He fully turned the tables and started bullying the kids who bullied him.
And that’s where you need to be careful. One that it doesn’t open a floodgate where the bullied becomes the bully and two that the right person gets into trouble.

I absolutely understand. As a parent of a son who was bullied for years by different students, with a school more interested in mediation (that never worked and was comical), my husband used to tell my son to fight back. It upset me, but I understood. However, my son is not like that and it was difficult to tell him to do something that went against everything he felt. We ended up having to move schools.

Sounds to me that it is the only recourse left to you. Bullies usually stop if retaliation occurs. Hope it all works out for you in the end.

Wow surely there are other ways to go about this. I’d be scared for my daughter that her retaliation will make things worse

The school should step in but they never do, yes for self defence but not to be the one who punches first.

The school needs to give the bully more serious consequences than just “talking”.

Schools in general seem to be very good at lip service when it comes to bullying.
It’s sad for this family that it has come to this.

My eldest was continually being picked on by another child at daycare. It started when they were 2 and continues until they were 3-4. Educators said they were working on it, their way of dealing with it was by talking about gentle hands and making each other smile and happy. It did not work. I had accident forms to sign, he fell of a bike, bumped his head. When I asked him about falling off the bike he said he didn’t fall this other boy pushed him off. I got sick of it so told him to hit the kid back. Not long after I said that the bully kid started talking to me whenever I saw him at drop off and pick up. They are now in kinder together and will sometimes play together. I dont know what happened to stop the hitting but I do know the current methods used do not work with some children. If an adult hit another adult in the work place they would lose their job. If a high school student hit another student they would be suspended or expelled. There needs to be more serious consequences at a young age like in daycare and then maybe it will be less of an issue as kids grow up.

We always told our boys to defend themselves they might get punished by the school but we wont do anything. Thats the only way some of these bullies learn as they are untouchable by the schools.

Unfortunately, sometimes it comes down to just this. Some kids will never get the message otherwise.

Totally agree with this method if every avenue has been exhausted! There is one kid at my child’s school who is awful to everyone, the teachers are well aware of it and try to get this kids parents onboard to help but they have reached a stalemate, other parents have now told their kids to push back and defend themselves. He seems to be getting the message one kid at a time