Mum confronts school after her daughter was told students aren’t allowed to say “no” to a boy when asked to dance.

Natalie Richard, from Utah, was speaking to her sixth-grade daughter about the upcoming Valentine’s Day dance at her school, Kanesville Elementary, when she was told about the controversial rule.

Her daughter explained that teachers had told the students, aged between 11 and 12, that they had to say “yes” when someone asked them to dance, shares The Independent.

“The teacher said she can’t. She has to say yes. She has to accept, and I said, ‘Excuse me’,” Ms Richard told Fox 13.

Shocked by the policy, the mother took her concerns to the school principal but was told that that’s just how they organise their dances.

Lane Findlay, community relations specialist with the Weber School District, confirmed that it is in fact a rule, but added that it’s meant to teach students how to be inclusive.

“We want to promote kindness, and so we want you to say yes when someone asks you to dance.”

Prior to the dance, which is voluntary, students are told to fill out a card by selecting five people they want to dance with. The administration says if there’s someone on the card you feel uncomfortable with, the student is encouraged to speak up.

“If there is an issue, if there’s students that are uncomfortable or have a problem with another student, I mean: that’s certainly something that can be addressed with that student and parents,” Findlay said.

However, Ms Richard believes there are other ways to teach children how to be accepting and that this method sends the wrong message.

“It sends a bad message to girls that girls have to say ‘yes’; sends a bad message to boys that girls can’t say ‘no’,” she explained.

“Psychologically, my daughter keeps coming to me and saying I can’t say ‘no’ to a boy.

“That’s the message kids are getting.”

When Fox 13 posted the story on its Facebook page, hundreds of alarmed parents commented in agreement.

Many were worried that teaching children to believe that “no” is an unacceptable answer could make them vulnerable.

Do you think the school is sending the wrong message to young girls?

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  • I think its sending a really bad message for the girls and boys. A girl is suppose to say yes to dancing, because its polite so is it impolite if a girl says no to having s*x. And yes, I know the kids are only 11/12 but I think its setting a bad example for when they are older.
    And what about those girls or boys who didnt get picked? How are they going to feel?
    And beside yr 6ers doing Valentine’s? This school says sound a bit odd.


  • Yes it is the wrong message, but if it is one of the boys on their list, then they probably wouldn’t want to say no. Guess it’s hard to get youngsters to dance with each other, too.


  • A School should not be promoting Valentines Day. If it is an out of school hours social the school cannot force her to attend if she doesn’t want to of the parents do want her to go.


  • Seriously! NO is NO! Every single girl should say NO if she wants to say NO! Girls should not be taught to say yes when they mean NO – this just setting them up as people pleasers and no girl should be denied the right to listen and act on their own feelings. What age are we living?


  • Yes, I think they send the wrong message.


  • I would be double checking with the school and then taking action, even wearing an outfit that says no means no

    • Love this idea of wearing a NO t-shirt!


  • If that’s the message that comes across (“you can’t say no to a boy) then maybe those school’s rules should be revised. :-(


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