When Australian midwife Aliza Carr shared a lighthearted video of herself trying to soothe her baby on a 14 hour flight, she never imagined it would attracted thousands of vicious comments, condemning her behaviour.
The Instagram video shows Aliza, who owns Franjos Kitchen and Bumpnbub, bouncing her baby up and down in a carrier on a plane, with the tongue-in-cheek caption:
“How to get a toned butt and legs? Take a four-month-old, that only sleeps in the carrier, to 5+ countries in a month …”
She continued the conversation in her video caption, saying,
“Okay – I joke, but in all seriousness, even as a midwife, I thought the most strenuous part of becoming a mama – was pregnancy. And for some, that is the case, but for me it was 100% in the postpartum phase. It was this, right here. The hours and hours each day of baby wearing my little koala never getting a break.
“I remember this flight, it was 14+ hours straight and I remember taking Panadol for my butt and leg muscles that were aching #Mumlife”
The video attracted some supportive comments, but there were also hundreds of comments criticising Aliza for her actions. Here’s a taste of the vitriol she received:
But plenty of other jumped in to Aliza’s defence, pointing out that if she was a dad, she would have been praised for soothing her baby for hours on end.
Aliza has since revealed that the comments left her shocked.
“Comments full of hatred, very emotionally charged responses are what shocked me the most,” Aliza said.
“The opinion that a mum soothing and responding to her baby, can be seen as ‘spoiling’ or being ‘manipulated’ by her baby is archaic, incorrect and damaging to new parents.
“We know that 1:5 women experience a perinatal mental health condition, and nasty comments that add no value except to tear women down do nothing but damage and the constant mum shaming from highly opinionated individuals, who consider themselves parenting experts, largely who have either never had children, or if they have – raised them 30+ years ago is exhausting and can be damaging to new mothers,” she continued.
“There are more positive comments, and comments defending me than anything else. Nobody is more passionate than an angry mum who feels they are being vilified for responding to their baby in the best way that they know how. So many mums can see themselves in me in this video, and that’s why it’s got so much traction globally,” she said.
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