A new mum has shared her list of strict rules for visiting her newborn, including the expectation that guests do chores and bring gifts from an approved list.

The detailed set of dos and don’ts has led to other mums accusing the woman and her husband of ‘cash grabbing’ and being ‘entitled’.

The 34-year-old new mum gave birth on Christmas Day, but months before her baby boy was born, she and her husband sent out a list of rules for visiting the bundle of joy. They included:

1. Up to date on ALL vaccines

2. If you feel anyway sick don’t visit

3. Let us know a week before hand so we can arrange a day/time

4. No smokers

5. No phone calls or visits between 7:30pm-10pm

6. You can only stay an hour

7. No picking up the baby without consent

8. No advice

9. No perfume/deodorant

10. No is no we won’t explain why

11. No pictures to be taken or posted on social media

12. If you visit the first time you will be expected to give mum (me) a gift card and a gift for baby from our approved list

13. Before you ever come, no matter how many times, you will be given a list of a either food or groceries to bring with you, AND a chore list to do a chore of your choosing

14. No more than two visits a week, per person

Husband puts family in ‘time out’

The new parents say the aim of the rules is to reduce the amount of visits and visitors, and to treat everyone equally. But it’s caused a sticky situation with her family (surprise, surprise!).

“My sister in law studies in a different part of the country and is rarely home,” she explained on reddit. “She asked to visit last week before she had to go back to school, so we set up a date with link to our gift list than sent her the takeout we’d like including the chores she can choose from.

“She immediately texted back saying she’s broke and can she do extra chores instead. Me and my husband talked about it and came to the decision that if we bent the rules for one person everyone would want the same treatment.

“We told her no that we were very clear about our rules and maybe next time she could visit. She begged even said would clean the whole house because it would be June before she’s would be home again and we simply texted no. She didn’t reply. She left this morning and we got multiple texts for my in laws belittling us for using our child as a cash grab, my husband simply replied it was our rules and no one deserves special treatment then told his family they were on a time out and blocked them.

“Since then my family and our friends have told us we were wrong because she is a broke collage student and they would have understood if we looked the other way once. We have tried reaching out to his sister but she won’t reply.”

The mum is now wondering whether they should have ‘bent the rules’ for her sister-in-law.

Other mums lashed out at the woman’s set of rules, calling her ‘entitled’.

“Your rules went from 0 to 60. Like smoking and vaccines, yeah. But gift cards and chores? The entitlement is strong with this one,” one commenter wrote.

“You’re using your baby as a cash grab. Gifts – for the baby and especially the mother – are something guests should bring as they want and on their own terms. Not as a mandate.”

What do you think? Should she have just let her sister-in-law visit the baby? Let us know in the comments below.

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  • I had some rules as well. Especially when it’s first baby in the family and people sometimes are forgetting things.


  • She should meet my daughter. They would get along very well because this has been her stance as well with her children. It’s so over the top and blatantly rude. I know what I would have told this mother, the same as I tell my daughter. This is total control and so unbelievably unwarranted to do to those who just want to visit them and the child. Both the husband and wife are ‘fruit loops.’ I wouldn’t have wasted my time visiting her and would have told her what to do with her list. Who needs it? I certainly don’t.


  • Wow and wow – I could only understand this if it was a joke. I would definitely not visit this family, then again I wouldn’t have friends like this.

    • Yep, it sure is a good way to keep visitors away !


  • That sure is a strict list !


  • What makes them think they are special because they had a baby. A lot of the things listed I would agree with, like making sure all vaccines are up to date, no smokers, not visiting if you’ve been feeling ill, but I think it’s over the top demanding gift card for the mother, present for baby and doing chores. It’s not a gallery or side show friends and family are coming to see. Definitely should have let her SIL visit and not have to do 12, 13 or 14.


  • Number 12 and 13 seem a bit extreme. I couldn’t imagine asking someone for a gift, much less to clean my house or do chores or bring me food.


  • It was all sounding normal and if anything just honest from new parents who may be exhausted until the last 3 points!


  • Wow, where are the days where you just call and visit a friend and new bub. This one, I will give it a pass.


  • I agree with a lot of these rules but asking for gifts and wanting your guests to do chores is just taking it way too far!


  • Wow, that’s insane! The first few rules are pretty standard but expecting people to bring gifts, food and do chores? And then actually refusing someone a visit? They should be happy she wanted to come in the first place!


  • Gold digging, rude, lazy, entitled people, I’d give them time out for the rest of my life


  • I think that situation was unique. I’m just wondering what they might do if they need help or support from someone. They might find it’s not there.


  • Most of it is pretty standard but only allowing visits from those who bring gifts, food (from registries no less) and complete dejected chores, this whole bit is utter craziness. I’m honestly appalled by this whole thing.


  • ridiculous, rude, mercenary and greedy! Seriously, I am all for a few rules like ‘ring dont just turn up unannounced’ and of course ‘dont come if you re sick’, and most people are polite enough to ask before taking even a photo, but the parents to demand gift cards for both baby and mumma?!!! No I’m sorry, this is one princess diva greedy pair.


  • Yes how ridiculous. But if I was the sister in law I’d be staying clear of such snobs. Ignore them and they might have to rethink their silly rules


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