A new mum has shared her list of strict rules for visiting her newborn, including the expectation that guests do chores and bring gifts from an approved list.
The detailed set of dos and don’ts has led to other mums accusing the woman and her husband of ‘cash grabbing’ and being ‘entitled’.
The 34-year-old new mum gave birth on Christmas Day, but months before her baby boy was born, she and her husband sent out a list of rules for visiting the bundle of joy. They included:
1. Up to date on ALL vaccines
2. If you feel anyway sick don’t visit
3. Let us know a week before hand so we can arrange a day/time
4. No smokers
5. No phone calls or visits between 7:30pm-10pm
6. You can only stay an hour
7. No picking up the baby without consent
8. No advice
9. No perfume/deodorant
10. No is no we won’t explain why
11. No pictures to be taken or posted on social media
12. If you visit the first time you will be expected to give mum (me) a gift card and a gift for baby from our approved list
13. Before you ever come, no matter how many times, you will be given a list of a either food or groceries to bring with you, AND a chore list to do a chore of your choosing
14. No more than two visits a week, per person
Husband puts family in ‘time out’
The new parents say the aim of the rules is to reduce the amount of visits and visitors, and to treat everyone equally. But it’s caused a sticky situation with her family (surprise, surprise!).
“My sister in law studies in a different part of the country and is rarely home,” she explained on reddit. “She asked to visit last week before she had to go back to school, so we set up a date with link to our gift list than sent her the takeout we’d like including the chores she can choose from.
“She immediately texted back saying she’s broke and can she do extra chores instead. Me and my husband talked about it and came to the decision that if we bent the rules for one person everyone would want the same treatment.
“We told her no that we were very clear about our rules and maybe next time she could visit. She begged even said would clean the whole house because it would be June before she’s would be home again and we simply texted no. She didn’t reply. She left this morning and we got multiple texts for my in laws belittling us for using our child as a cash grab, my husband simply replied it was our rules and no one deserves special treatment then told his family they were on a time out and blocked them.
“Since then my family and our friends have told us we were wrong because she is a broke collage student and they would have understood if we looked the other way once. We have tried reaching out to his sister but she won’t reply.”
The mum is now wondering whether they should have ‘bent the rules’ for her sister-in-law.
Other mums lashed out at the woman’s set of rules, calling her ‘entitled’.
“Your rules went from 0 to 60. Like smoking and vaccines, yeah. But gift cards and chores? The entitlement is strong with this one,” one commenter wrote.
“You’re using your baby as a cash grab. Gifts – for the baby and especially the mother – are something guests should bring as they want and on their own terms. Not as a mandate.”
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