June 4, 2019

This is why you need to stop questioning the decisions you make as a parent. In the end, it really won’t matter!

When your children become adults, no one is gonna ask if you were born via c section in order to be your mate.

No one will say, “oh bro… were you formula fed or breastfed? Because we are getting pizzas and we aren’t sure if you should come”

No one is gonna reject queen Beyoncé’s children for a play date because she formula fed her three. No effen way.

For university, no one will ask if you stopped shitting your pants at 3 or 4.

Or in a job interview there won’t be any questions “and at what age Ms. smith, did you stop wearing night nappies?”

When and if they get married, their vows aren’t going to say “and even though I co slept and you slept in a cot, we will try and make it until death to us part”

Unless I asked, I couldn’t tell these things with most people.

Yep, there are loads of studies that tell us which is best, and I’m not disputing it. But these studies don’t tell individual stories, or struggles, that come along with parenting.

They don’t tell you about the mother who tried breastfeeding until she was in hospital with mastitis, with bleeding nipples and a drip, or those who struggled and struggled taking drugs to increase supply only to be told her child is failing to thrive, or the mother who adopted her child when he was 3 weeks old.

They don’t tell stories about mothers who are shamed feeding in public.

They don’t know about the struggles of postpartum depression and only having a baby that will sleep when they’re right next to their mama.

But you will be able to tell, when your children become adults, is how they were raised with so much love, from people who would do absolute anything for them. Because they will be kind, they will be caring and they will have empathy. They will be adults who were supported and parented by someone who did their best.

Stop beating yourself up for your choices and the choices that were given to you.

You are doing an amazing job not raising assholes, and really when they grow up, that’s all that counts!

Laura’s post spoke volumes to hundreds of parents attracting over 530 shares and 1800 reactions.

Comments included:

“Exactly. Thank you for saying what I’ve been trying to fully explain to a couple of my friends. Supposedly I’m not bonded well enough with A cuz I didnt breastfeed, and that’s also why he’s so short for his age….”

“Wish someone had read this to me when I was struggling with post natal depression, probably triggered by having to give up breastfeeding and feeling a failure. My two have grown up into two fine young people who are very caring and motivated, even though I brought them up by myself for most of their lives. All they really need is unconditional love and parents who want to spend quality time with them.”

“Love this!!!”

“Exactly, mothers all love their children from the day they are born, till the day your mother takes her last breath. Your mother will always do the right thing by you. As a mother you will always do the right thing”

“Keepin’ it real!!”

“Never read anything more true !!!!”

“Absolutely!”

This post originally appeared on Laura Mazza – Mum on the Run Facebook page.

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  • Mum guilt can be suffocating. It’s important to take a deep breath, take stock of things and realise that ultimately other people’s opinions don’t have to mean anything.

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  • Some great advice here and so true as well! Love it

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  • Mum guilt is a real thing and its great to have this as a reminder that as mums we never fail as long as we keep trying.

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  • I love this. As long as I try to do my best for my kids, I know they will be fine :)

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  • I love this and clearly so many other Mums can relate. It is absolutely so true.

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  • This is actually so true. And written in a way that we can all understand and relate!

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  • Great post and oh so true. Although I didn’t have to deal with some of the problems raised in this post, I did feel I had unfairly held my children back because I simply couldn’t afford many things that were on offer through their school years and felt I was constantly saying ‘No’ to their requests. Many years later when they were in their 30’s with children of their own, my new husband and I guested them at our house for Christmas for as long as they wished to stay. Some a couple of days , others 1 day, one a week. However, on Christmas Day eve, my children and I were talking on the back patio after a full day of food, wines, guests, more food, more wine, etc. Talk turned to their childhood and I said how sorry I was that I seemed to constantly say no to their wants. Their answer to me is one I will always love – we don’t remember you saying no – we remember you always keeping a promise to us. Don’t beat yourself up, mum, we have all turned out good adults, all with jobs, never on the dole, and all with promising futures. You did that for us, not dad. And we all think your husband is great. Remember your children will remember different things to what you beat yourself up about.


    • Beautiful how your kids expressed this to you !

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  • Children develop a vivid imagination around the age of 3 y.o. which can result in night terrors / nightmares. There is sometimes regression with toilet training too. You will know when to start again when they start to show interest. What appears to be tantrums is sometimes rustration because they can’t express what they need or can say clearly.

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  • I loved every word of this post. If you child regresses, has a night terror, wets their pants or throws a tantrum, it’s okay!!! Provided that you’re parenting in a loving way with the best intentions for your little human, you’re doing it right.

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  • Well said! Couldn’t agree more! We’re all struggling and pushing through in our own way. No point pulling someone down further to raise yourself up.

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  • yes we should stop but we should more importantly stop judging everyone and everything

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  • We mothers will always feel unnecessary guilt and I think we always will

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  • Guilt and regret is pointless and achieves very little.


    • I agree, but some parents should feel guilty and regretful… Thinking about those who abuse and neglect their children. Not all parents give their very best, not all parents are driven by love.



      • I agree – parents of course need to be responsible and held accountable and there should be consequences for inappropriate behaviour and acts and anything that is illegal.

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  • it is really tough at times

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  • So true all this !

    Reply

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