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A birth partner plays such a huge role in helping a woman through one of the most incredible, yet intimidating experiences of her life. But would you hold the hand of a co-worker while they delivered their baby?

A woman has found herself in a tricky situation, after her colleague asked if she would support her during the birth of her baby, after only know her for a matter of weeks.

“About a month again, we had a new woman who joined our office,” the woman explained on reddit. “We are both women in our early 30s, and we sat next to each other in a pretty much quiet office, so we chatted pretty frequently since she has gotten her.

“Now my new coworker, I’ll call her Jane, is noticeably pregnant. Through us talking, she told me that she broke up with her partner after she caught him cheating and she moved away to start over. She’s quite a ways away from all her family and friends.

“Yesterday we grabbed lunch together and she said she had something to ask me. She said her mum and sister don’t think they will be able to make it out for her delivery as money is tight for them to travel. She said they are working on it but aren’t very hopeful. She asked if they weren’t able to come out, if I would be able to be with her for her baby’s birth.”

“She said I am her closest friend out in our area and she feels really comfortable with me.”

And here’s where things get mucky. The woman says she’s freaked out by the whole idea of birth – and she let her co-worker know.

“I immediately said no, no way. I have an extreme phobia about pregnancy and childbirth and there is no freaking way I would be able to attend. I would 100% have a panic attack and that would probably be the best that would happen. She seemed really, really upset and even left early yesterday and hasn’t been in today.

“I told my friend about her request and she said I was definitely being an a**hole about it. She said she knew I would be uncomfortable, but that this was something really scary to go through on your own.”

What do you think she should have done? Let us know in the comments below.

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  • I’m so sorry this woman has nobody. If it was me, I would have said yes. I couldn’t have her go through this on her own. I understand they’ve only known each other a short while, but it must have been a big deal to ask. I’m not okay with childbirth. I nearly passed out when I went in to visit my friend immediately after birth when I saw the blood on the floor. I had to sit on a chair and put my head between my legs. I did that and recovered. I needed to for my friend.

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  • Aww that’s really sad that she has nobody.

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  • Aww that’s so tricky, I bet she wasn’t expecting a reaction like that. Maybe she could of at least thought about it for a while since she knows there is no one else who can go

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  • Ooof what a thing! The poor dear has no support and the one person she thought she could ask made out like it would be the worst thing ever. Maybe OP could have discussed it a little more sensitively, true but then also, NTA for knowing her own strengths and boundaries.

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  • Poor lady I feel for her if she has no one to attend

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  • It’s a difficult situation for both women!!

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  • Poor Jane must be feeling incredibly lonely. I think the lady reacted poorly and perhaps she could have said while she doesn’t feel comfortable in the delivery room with her, is there another way she can support Jane during the birth?

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  • I feel sorry for these women. ‘Jane’ will find it hard going through the birth on her own, but it is also not right to go into a birthing suite if you are liable to faint and put the ‘Jane’ at risk that way. Either way a lovely ‘friendship’ has been broken and I doubt it will be repaired.

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  • I think she presented her reaction badly, but at heart wasn’t unreasonable. She clearly feels she doesn’t know this woman well – and birth is not a fun thing if you’re not emotionally involved – and has an actual phobia. She just should have explained that more calmly. If she thinks she’d be unhelpful then it’s more than fair to say she can’t be there.

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  • I think the poster could have reacted differently and nicely explained she would feel uncomfortable in that situation. There is always doulas or student midwives she can befriend before the birth.

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  • I think she should have done the unselfish thing and said yes and be strong for her. Imagine how scared ‘Jane’ is feeling.

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  • She’s all alone and reaching out for help. Suck it up and do it. Just stay up her end and hold her hand. It’s such an incredible thing to witness.

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  • I think that it would of been a shock to be asked this but also such an amazing experience to be apart of. There are also ways of going about saying things also. But they were put on the spot at work!

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  • I feel sorry for the pregnant woman. I mean who would want to go through their first childbirth alone?!
    Hopefully she finds someone who can be there for her.

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  • Look she was being honest and if she has a phobia and she doesn’t want to then she did the right thing by saying no. You don’t want to force a birth partner or they will start running during the birthing experience which you don’t want.

    Reply

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