A father-of-two says his ex-wife’s husband has put his foot down, telling him to stop attending all of his children’s special events. Now he’d wondering if he’s in the wrong.
The dad says he shared two children with his ex-wife Thora; 10-year-old son Indie and eight-year-old daughter Colbie. He says he and his ex have remained close since divorcing, and remain relaxed about their co-parenting.
“We do our best to have the kids see us both as much as possible,” he explained on reddit. “We celebrate every birthday, every Christmas together, and we show up to support our kids together as much as we can make work with our jobs. Our families are also still very tight. The kids love it. Sometimes it will be my parenting time but they want Thora and so they spend that day with her, or vice versa. Works so well for the kids.”
Thora remarried in November 2021, and initially all was well with her new husband Michael.
“He and I got along in the beginning. He clearly loved Thora and was great with the kids, which is what Thora and I cared most about. But then this past summer some things changed with Michael.
“An example is Indie was singing and playing an instrument at this little talent show his summer camp set up. Thora and I both went, so did Michael, who took the day off work. Michael did not look happy to see me and once Thora was not within earshot or sightline, he was visibly tense and I swear he groaned at some point near me.
“Then Thora had to go out of state to see a friend of hers who was very sick. The kids chose to stay with me and I don’t believe Michael was happy about that. I tried to ask him about it but he swore things were fine.
“In November Indie and Colbie had a busy month with different stand out things within extra curricular’s and school. I was lucky enough to attend 9/10 of them with Thora attending 8/10. Michael got to attend 3/10. All three were ones I could attend and it felt very much like he didn’t want me there.”
Eventually Michael decided he would voice his concern at the children’s dad constantly turning up to their events.
“Late last month when Michael and I were the ones attending a school function for the kids that he asked me to show up to less of the kids events and let him and Thora do some of that stuff with the kids as a family. I told him they already do. He said not when I’m around. That I am getting in the way of him being a parental figure for the kids.
“I told him he was a parental figure and the kids love him. He said they will never consider us equal until they see him instead of me at some of these events. He said it’s important for the more ‘stable family unit of four’. I told him I was not willing to miss the kids events.
“He did not take it well and accused me of interfering and alienating their chances of a family unit. He texted me after the event with things he wanted me to miss (including Indie’s primary school graduation). I told him it was not happening. He told me Thora wanted this too.
“Thora knew nothing of this and told me the kids would be so upset if we did what Michael wanted, which I knew also. She was angry at Michael. Michael is angry at me still. He called me an a**hole. I don’t want to believe I’m an as**hole but I know this is not the norm for every divorced parents situation and it makes me ask if I am the a**hole for not letting them have some of those events just them.”
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