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‘My grass was dying’ is how I wanted to start my post on social media.

At the time I had accumulated over two hundred and fifty text messages and I needed a way of letting a large number of my friends and family know that I wasn’t intentionally ignoring them, but that my time management skills were severely lacking.

When I was a child I got to mow the lawn with a fly-mow and my goodness we had a glorious garden! I loved the responsibility of tending to the yard – although admittedly I do question now whether I was even old enough to be doing what I was asked to do. Not that there was much choice soon after my parent’s divorce.

It did build character though as well as strength and gave me a skill set I had somehow forgotten I had after I became a mother. I mean after marriage my husband took care of all the gardening even though I was never really certain whether he hated or loved taking care of it. He did a fabulous job nonetheless.

I’ll Just Do It Myself!

My grass really was dying however. My hubby would cut it as short as possible and it was extremely patchy from where it had stopped growing. Rather than complain, I decided to do it myself. I mean it’s the advice I constantly give my husband: “If you’re unhappy with the way I’ve done something then please do it yourself or show me how it can be done differently!” I always say whenever I feel myself being criticised. I didn’t want a taste of my own medicine by giving him the perfect opportunity to say it to me.

After teaching me how to start his collection of gardening equipment I was set! I even took videos of him starting them because I knew that there was no chance I was going to remember the special way that he jiggles different parts to get them going. And just like that, I was off on my gardening adventure!

My Grass Needs Me More Than You Do!

“I can’t respond right now because my garden needs me.” Was this going to be a good enough explanation for my friends however? Were they going to get where I was coming from? Or would they feel it was just a pathetic excuse…

I realised that the ones who knew me, who genuinely understood who I am would know exactly what I was saying.

In the past, I have been capable of communicating and maintaining friendships. In fact I was a text addict, constantly texting positive quotes, random jokes and just little inspirational messages to let my friends know I was thinking of them. But now I’m looking up and away from my device and I saw that my garden was being destroyed.

I noticed a massive depression smack bang in the middle of my yard. It was huge! You couldn’t miss it! As the children would run in the garden they would often fall, because of the unbalanced ground. The depression couldn’t stay there. It was becoming extremely dangerous and with so many little ones around I couldn’t allow it to remain, or worse, get any bigger!

The Depression Was Getting Bigger

All the rain we’ve had hasn’t helped either. It was pooling in the depression and taking more out of it with each downpour. That’s the difficult part about depressions, they tend to attract more elements to them which in turn tend to create more loss rather than returning any kind of vitality. A classic example of lower vibes attracting more vibrations along the same level.

I needed to rebuild that part of the foundation of my garden. I knew it was going to get messy because I needed to take soil from all areas of the yard to be able to bring stability to that massive gape.

It took days and countless wheelbarrows of dirt, but I got it filled!

During that time I was very much uncontactable. But I needed to focus if I wanted to stand any chance of fixing the problem before it took over my whole yard.

It’s a lot harder having to lay down new turf than it is simply watering and maintaining what you already have. And my goodness how fast small changes all add up in creating something wonderful!

Give Them A Strong Foundation

My children needed a strong foundation to hold them up, one which would not allow them to fall and even if they did trip they needed to be able to land safely and comfortably on nice bouncy grass opposed to the depressed mud patch that was slowly but surely threatening to engulf my entire garden.

I believe it’s important to know when you need a moment for yourself and take it. It might not be something you can simply schedule in to your busy timetable, it may just be a situation where you need to immediately take action.

Believe it or not our neighbours had actually accidentally broken the bottom of our fence by building it up with soil. They thought we wouldn’t notice because it was the panel behind our granny flat and no one could fit behind there to get all the soil out- except for me. It was a majority of that dirt that I used to rebuild my garden. I also built a beautiful retaining fence to help maintain the boundaries.

It amused me the way my garden was reflected in my personal life. The relatives closest to us were placing me between a rock and a hard place. I was being buried alive and they expected me not to notice. But I couldn’t ask anyone for help because it was such a mundane problem. So I dug myself out, put up some invisible boundaries and took some time to catch my breath.

Sometimes You Just Have to Go It Alone

I love my family and friends, but I needed to do this alone even though I know I am blessed with an abundance of beautifully supportive souls. I’m sure there are many people who can relate. And I want you to know that you can do it, you will get through it. But make sure to set yourself a reasonable timeframe to get through it by. You don’t want to burn yourself out whilst metaphorically digging and you can’t stay there for a long period of time, or you will become stuck!

All you have to do is just take all that dirt, find all the depressions in your garden and fill them up because even though it’s true that without rain, nothing grows – you still don’t want to be attracting pools of rainwater in case you drown. Then sit back and just watch how beautifully your grass grows and your garden flourishes! No matter what, keep your thoughts positive, your vibrations high and look up often so that you are present in what matters most to you in your life.

Do you ever feel like the ‘grass is dying’ in your life? What do you do about it? Tell us in the comments below.

  • Our mental health can be directly linked to our surroundings. So easy to feel overwhelmed when things are out of order. A good piece of advice given to me re kids, it’s easier to help a young tree grow straight than trying to correct it later. Young plants and children, need a strong foundation to grow

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  • You just have to take one step at a time.

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  • I used to love mowing the lawn and watching it grow into a lush lawn that anyone would have been proud of. Now I can’t do anything like that because I have a chronic illness and back injury which means I’m virtually house bound. My son mows the lawn but in places he is killing it in places and he doesn’t like me suggesting what he should be doing either. All I can do is grin and bear it. As for social media, I’m only on there for about 10 minutes a day so some people no longer want to know me but it’s there loss not mine.

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  • I am not a gardener, can’t keep anything alive! When I feel things are sinking, I see my psychologist, or go to the beach, or talk to my friends. I think I’m better at noticing it now, so I know what to do.

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  • I hate gardening because I’m so scared of bugs and dirt! Plus, I kill everything I touch. I’ve even killed a succulent which is supposed to be something super easy to look after.
    I leave all the gardening to hubby as he enjoys growing different things and has the time and love to put into it all and it’s something he and our toddler can do together.

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  • It’s so good to feel accomplished in the garden, I love working in my garden I don’t get a lot of time to do it but when I do it’s wonderful

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  • I find a lot of satisfaction in going it alone. It makes me feel empowered.

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  • Support is a wonderful thing but, as you say, sometimes you have to ‘go it alone’ – there is nothing more satisfying than self accomplishment!


    • Self accomplishment is indeed an incredible feeling. It releases an inner glow!

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  • I’m not a big gardener, I do what has to be done and not much more. Pretty similar to how I tackle life too

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  • Overcoming a challenge and obstacle is always satisfying. Support is always wonderful but self reliance and resilience is a strength.

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  • When the grass is dying in my life I certainly look what can be done. It’s good to set a reasonable time frame and goals whilst metaphorically digging. Set priorities and change your goals when they’re not achievable.


    • Some things you need to do alone, but to be honest I don’t know where I would be without my husband at my side !

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  • Yep.. totally agree. I could sleep earlier but the night is the only me time where I can feel like myself

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  • I’m feeling like this everyday and it’s really frustrating. I want to get better but some days I dig the holes deeper and no one listens. It’s really getting me down.

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  • TLC goes a long way and so rewarding.

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  • Yes. Sometimes you just need to tend to your own grass.

    Reply

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