A confused wife is trying to make sense of a situation that has uncovered her husband’s secret child.

She and her husband have been together for six years, and married for three. They have two children together, a three-year-old and one-year-old and as far as the wife is concerned they’ve had a perfect relationship.

“Our relationship has been pretty amazing all these years and I was never given reasons to question him ever,” she explained on reddit.

“We even trust each other with our phones. It’s not like we are searching each other’s phones to see if somebody’s cheating, but for example if he’s in another room and someone calls or texts him and his phone is next to me he’ll ask me to check who is it and what the text says.

“So few days ago I was sitting on the couch, my husband was doing the dishes and he got a text. He told me to check who it is and it was a plain number with no contact name and the message said, ‘I want to introduce you to my boyfriend this week, I’m sure you’ll love him, I love you and miss you, can’t wait to see you.’ I didn’t even know what to think, I had no idea who it was and at first I thought they had the wrong number. I didn’t pay much attention and I told my husband it was an unknown number and probably a mistake. As I said, I had no reason not to trust him.”

A couple of days then pass and as she was getting ready for work, she noticed another text had come through to her husband’s phone, from the same number. This time it said, “So X and I will be waiting for you at Y restaurant on Saturday. Got a reservation at 7pm in X name. See you then, love you”.

It was then the wife realised the messages weren’t being sent to the wrong number.

“I confronted my husband about it. At first he was insisting it was an accident but after a lengthy argument we had, he ended up admitting that he got a second SIM card which he always takes out when he’s around me and he just forgot to take it out that’s why he got these messages while I was present. The other thing that I found out was that the person who was texting him was his 17-year-old daughter who I was unaware of.

“He said his older daughter is none of my business so I better quit the tantrums and suck it up”

“Basically at 16 he got a classmate of his pregnant and they went no contact immediately after that and haven’t spoken in years. He never knew if she indeed gave birth, or gave up the baby for adoption. Nothing. He found out of his daughter’s existence a bit before I gave birth to my three-year-old. He hid it from me for all this time because he was afraid of my reaction and that I might not be as accepting.

“I confronted him about the fact that he hid it from me and he said that after all I had no business knowing and how he handles the situation with his older daughter is none of my business after all so I better quit the tantrums and suck it up. I feel so guilty that I fought with him over it because he was just trying to be a good dad and he didn’t want to risk losing his daughter again in case I was not accepting of the situation. Am I the a**hole?”

What do you think of this situation? Let us know in the comments below. 

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  • He may have thought the classmate got an abortion, so it was probably a shock to him when the daughter turned up. He should have told his wife, but then again, the wife’s reaction is the key issue here. How would she have reacted?


  • It would have been easier when he would have been open from the beginning and I wonder why it was so hard for him to be open, what were his true fears ? Sharing his story years ago would have put their relationship at a test and this could have proved how healthy or unhealthy the relationship was; which can be used as a positive thing in my opinion


  • Massive dishonesty, what else is he hiding


  • Interesting situation, but honesty is always the best. He should have told her about his daughter from the start. Hopefully all works out.


  • I really think it’s a bad sign that he hid this from her; and an even worse sign that he’s so rude and dismissive when she expresssed concern.


  • Bring on the dovorce.


  • I don’t get why he was hiding his daughter from her, it’s not like he had cheated on her. It was from a long time before he got together with her.


  • She should have known. That’s not private information in a relationship


  • The longer you keep a secret, the harder it becomes to be honest


  • Wow that is a tough situation. He should have told his wife especially since he is in contact with his daughter. Hopefully they can get over the hurt.


  • I don’t know what I will do in that situation.


  • Gosh, that’s a tough situation. I can understand him being scared of losing you or anything happening while pregnant but to hide it for so long is really damaging to your relationship. It will take a long time to build that trust back up in your relationship. And to say that it has nothing to do with you is awful. It affects everyone and your children have a half-sibling that none of you every knew about. He’s got a long way to go to repairing your relationship


  • It was in the past but still when he found should have been up front when he found out. Keeping the secret led to assumptions down other avenues. It for him to handle his daughter but she has a right to know about her exisitence.


  • It’s not as though he cheated on you as it happened a long time before you had met. Maybe he didn’t want to say anything more from guilt on his part than for any other reason. I know you feel hurt and so you should, what he did was wrong by not telling you and then lying when he said it was a wrong number. He should have trusted you. Hopefully he apologises for the way he went about the whole situation. It would be nice if you could meet her and your husband can win back your trust for not telling you when he found out himself.


  • I think the husband is in the wrong. I can understand him being worried about how his wife might react, and if he only found out the news about his teenage daughter when his wife was due to have their baby, not wanting to cause her any extra stress around that time. He was possibly quite confused about the whole situation and trying to get his own head around it, adding to the fear of losing his wife and soon to be born child.
    To go behind his wife and family’s back though, have a second sim card and not try and include his wife and family in the life of his teenage daughter is wrong. He’s preventing them from forming a relationship, the kids have a half sibling that they have the right to know.


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