Having choices during birth, especially around pain relief, is every woman’s right. But what if your husband reveals he simply ‘won’t allow’ you to have an epidural?
A first-time-mum says her husband is putting his foot down, refusing to let her consider getting an epidural during the birth of their baby.
“I am beyond angry,” the expecting mum said. “My husband has mum friends and family who have had issues after epidurals like continuous back pain and stuff. He told me he won’t allow me to get an epidural, period. I tried to explain to him it’s my body and I’m the one delivering our baby but he didn’t budge and doesn’t understand.”
Her husband, who has a child from a previous relationships, says he thinks everyone who gets an epidural will have ongoing issues.
“I told him I’m going to go over ALL the options with my doctor. I want to cry because of how angry I am, what do I say to him? Help!”
The woman’s cry for help was met with more anger from women who were furious that her husband thinks he has a say in her birth.
“Why does he think he can put his foot down on this? No one on your medical team will give a singular hoot about his opinion. Is this out of character for him? Because this is patently ridiculous,” one person replied.
“Hook him up to a labour simulator for 8 hours. Watch him change his mind so quickly! After all 8 hours is a short labour compared to mine. This should be doable for an oh so tough macho man with the balls to tell his lady how to handle labour,” commented one mum.
An anaesthesiologist even stepped in and offered a medical viewpoint.
“There’s no evidence in our literature that shows epidurals cause back pain. The delivery of the baby changes the positioning of your spine – over 9 months the change in centre of gravity pulls the spine to increase the lower spine curvature (lumbar lordosis). This changes when the baby is delivered. All these shifts are likely the cause of back pain, not a tiny fishing line-thick catheter placed for 1 day in an area that is not touching bone or nerves.
“Data aside, literally nobody can prevent you from getting an epidural. I have removed family members against their wishes to place epidurals on patients because the patient says they want one. Just be ready to ask for what you need. It’s your body, your delivery, and your experience of physical pain.”
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