'My In-Laws Want A Grandson So Badly The Won't Believe I'm Having A Girl'

A first time mum has been left heartbroken by her husband’s family, who are so desperate for her to have a boy, they won’t accept the fact she’s having a girl.

The 27-year-old says she’s pregnant with the first grandchild on her husband’s side, and her mother-in-law wanted to name the baby in honour of her husband, who died from cancer. The mum-to-be says she had no problem with naming the baby after her husband’s late father, if it was a boy.

Things started to take a bit of a strange turn before she found out the gender of the baby, with her husband’s family making her attend prayers and participate in rituals to ensure she had a boy. “I didn’t like that but went with it to keep the peace,” she explained on reddit.

‘They’re pretending it’s a boy’

And then it came time for the scan – which revealed she was actually having a little girl.

“My husband cried in the car then turned his phone off to hide from his family then finally told them. His mum and the others made their frustration and disappointment clear, which bothered me cause my daughter deserves to be celebrated.

“They ghosted me for days then started coming over and visiting constantly referring to my daughter as my son claiming the results were false and basically pretending it’s a boy. I had several fights with them after they refused to stop it, and my husband sided with them despite seeing how wrong and unreasonable what they were doing was. We didn’t speak for a while.”

When the dust settled, the expecting mum’s sister-in-law reached out to apologise, and let her know the family had organised a baby shower for her.

“I was so excited and happy. But when I arrived I saw blue balloons, blue cake with my father-in-law’s name/decorations around. I was so confused I had to sit down. My sister-in-law explained they were ‘still’ hoping the gender results are false and it’s a boy. I looked at my husband and he agreed with her. I lost my temper and yelled at them all calling them delusional and telling them to stop treating my daughter like she’s unwanted and act like she doesn’t exist by throwing a party for ‘their imaginary grandson’. My mother-in-law breaks down crying, I took my bag and walked out immediately.

“They started yelling and my husband followed me outside and started arguing about how I insulted his family, and his dad’s memory by acting like that. I told him to wake up and see the insanity in his family’s behaviour. He said they needed time to process the fact that it’s a girl not a boy as they expected and insisted I play along and ‘they’ll soon get over it’.

“I said absolutely not and demanded he take me home. He said no so I called an Uber and left. He was fuming he called 15 times, then texted that he won’t be coming home until I ‘get my ass’ over and apologise for ruining everything THEY’VE DONE FOR ME and accusing them of being mentally unstable. I haven’t responded yet he’s constantly pressuring me to get right with his family before we even talk about anything else.”

What do you think this mum-to-be should do? Let us know in the comments below.

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35 Comments

- - meedee said
  - 18 Aug 2024
    8:01 am
wow….I hope everything worked out for you.

If it was me I would have taken this as a massive sign that I needed to get myself and my unborn child out of there. I would have straight away sort a restraining order for both me and my child as he and his entire family sounds very unstable.

- - Lividanke said
  - 21 Oct 2022
    2:02 pm
Hopefully by the time the baby girl arrives his family have had time to accept things and can be happy to have a girl in the family.
I also wonder if they’re having trouble dealing with the death of the father in law and need some help working through that?

- - mom400215 said
  - 28 Jun 2022
    6:30 pm
Oh my gosh I feel for you. That family is absolutely insane!!!! Maybe it’s best you keep your distance I can’t imagine what they’d be like with your daughter when she arrives

- - Zmijka86 said
  - 20 May 2022
    5:36 pm
Not cool at all and very depressing. Pregnancy should be happy time.

- - mom461384 said
  - 18 Apr 2022
    2:14 pm
Hell no!

- - ~Loui~ said
  - 09 Apr 2022
    10:08 pm
Get help! There is no way the two of you should bring a child into the world together if your relationship is this fractured by his family’s insanity. Parenting is the most difficult job in the world. Without a united front it will be virtually impossible. It’s awful that your husband didn’t support you.

- - mom160289 said
  - 07 Apr 2022
    2:37 pm
My goodness that is 110% craziness on their behalf. Also I can’t believe the husband is defending his family

- - mom466557 said
  - 07 Apr 2022
    11:00 am
Very common…gender disappointment…they will forget about it once the baby arrives and is happy and healthy
- Mum2archer replied
  
  14 May 2022 , 10:51 pm
  Let’s hope so!
- - sars_angelchik said
  - 06 Apr 2022
    7:25 pm
I can understand the mum acting like that. They’re acting crazy and it’s not fair. Needs to be nipped in the bud before the baby comes.

- - buggeritliz said
  - 06 Apr 2022
    1:41 pm
Wow! Not a good situation and the extended family have really crossed the line here. Your husband and you have to enjoy this pregnancy without all the drama. Naming the baby after the grandfather could still happen by giving the baby a name like Georgia a form of George or Charlie a form of Charles. If that’s what you want as well. I would have left that party too and I would not be apologising anytime soon. You have so much on your plate to deal with. A new Mum should be enjoying her time with everyone who makes you happy and accepts you are having a beautiful daughter.

- - mom480417 said
  - 06 Apr 2022
    11:55 am
This is heartbreaking!! We wanted to have a girl so badly that I told my obstetrician that if I have a boy I will definitely come back for a second child. I always wanted a pigeon pair but at the same time never regretted having a boy. I understand you have preference but this craziness is on another level. Sorry girl that you have to go through this during this time.

- - rovermum said
  - 06 Apr 2022
    9:58 am
Oh my God, you poor thing. This is horrendous behaviour by everyone involved except the mum-to-be. It’s hard to read, it’s so ridiculous. She needs to leave… NOW. This is clearly not going to change and her mental health and the health of her baby is at risk here. This is not okay and his family should be absolutely ashamed of themselves. I hope she has her family support.

- - Ordinary mum said
  - 06 Apr 2022
    7:41 am
You poor thing. I’ve got a mixed bag and they are all blessings.

You are not over reacting and your husband is stuck in the middle but he should not be playing along with his family, he should be trying to convince them that it doesn’t matter boy or girl that it’s just a blessing to a baby. If they wanted to throw a shower what was wrong with a gender neutral one. No, the whole family has a few screws loose and sound a little dangerous. Run away.

- - rachel1970 said
  - 05 Apr 2022
    5:13 pm
A child is a blessing no matter what sex, I think that husband need to give his family a good stern talking to!

- - mom93624 said
  - 05 Apr 2022
    2:38 pm
I think this family need to do the apologising and the husband needs to stand up to his family and defend his wife. Every child is a blessing

- - mom485263 said
  - 05 Apr 2022
    2:20 pm
Wow, the in laws family are a bit much. I hope this beautiful little girl is celebrated and loved as she is beautiful blessing.

- - Ails said
  - 05 Apr 2022
    1:54 pm
OMG! They are being so inconsiderate! Every baby is a blessing and they should be happy that they are going to have a healthy granddaughter. The husband is also being horrible in siding with his family, his poor wife is being humiliated by his family while she is carrying his daughter and all he can do is tell her to deal with it! Nope he does not sound like a nice person at all and I feel sorry for his wife and his unborn daughter.

- - mom101628 said
  - 05 Apr 2022
    10:49 am
They are all definitely strange and somehow I cannot see a happy ending for this marriage.
- Ellen replied
  
  06 Apr 2022 , 8:09 am
  No me neither, the fact that the husband doesn’t stand beside his wife but is choosing sides of his family isn’t such a good indicator.
- - Pollylou said
  - 05 Apr 2022
    10:11 am
I’m so sorry this happened to you

- - mom103778 said
  - 05 Apr 2022
    10:07 am
How sad, I would be furious with my husband, they should be apologizing to you. Sorry, but if they are not happy that you are having a girl then I don’t see what more there is to discuss about it.