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Kids should be free to express themselves, especially in the comfort of their own home, but when one grandma steps in and shares her opinion, was this couple right to kick her out?

One mum shares how she wants her son to be free to express himself, however he chooses, “My son is 6 and likes to wear dresses sometimes indoors. And we just do not care.”

“If he comes out as trans, gay, whatever my husband and I 100% support him and love him the way he is,” she revealed in her heartfelt post on reddit.

Her mother-in-law had arrived to stay for an extended period, while she was in between moving houses, “My MIL was planning to stay over for a few weeks before she moves houses. The second day she was here my son wears a dress. MIL makes a screwy face and asks my husband what he’s doing out of our son’s earshot. I didn’t quite hear what my husband said but MIL kept a screwy face for the rest of the day but made no more comment.”

Her mother-in-law didn’t get the hint, and started again, “A couple of days later he wears a dress again. This time MIL turns to our son and says in a very judge-y and mean tone ‘why don’t you go put some jeans on? Why do you want to wear a dress?’.”

Her son was upset at his grandma’s comment, “He had tears in his eyes and came over to me for a cuddle. He was sad and ashamed. I comforted him and told him ‘nope you’re fine to wear a dress please don’t worry’.”

She then politely stood up to her mother-in-law, “I calmly asked MIL for a word in the kitchen. I told her that I want my kids to love themselves and it’s very important for me and her son to install self confidence in them. And that I would prefer she stay with her daughter instead.”

“My husband totally backed me up on this. So we called and arranged for her to stay at my SIL. She was fine with it and we knew MIL would be fine there,” the woman shared, relieved to be able to move her mother-in-law out of her home.

Her mother-in-law wasn’t impressed, “MIL expressed how she couldn’t believe we were being so drastic. But it’s our house and we take her attitude against our son very seriously. This is a judge free house in that way.”

The drama didn’t end there though, with the mother-in-law sharing her disappointment with other family members to rally their support, “She has unfortunately involved a few family members who don’t agree with our decision and have took it upon themselves to tell us.”

Do you think they did the right thing by asking the grandma to move on?

  • I agree with this young boys parents. No it’s not easy to see your grandson wearing a dress but what about a granddaughter wearing jeans? I don’t see a problem when the child is in their own home is Mum and Dad are okay with it. Good on the parents for putting their sons feelings first. There will always be conflict with how you raise your children but the big emphasis is they are your children.

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  • It would be a difficult situation for all I’m sure. As a nan myself, a bit older, I would be a bit shocked to see my grandson in a dress. And it’s not so much because of my discomfort, more so I’d be thinking of what would happen if his friends ever found out. It’s a fine line between personal expression and opening oneself up to a tirade of bullying. Sad but true

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  • They did the right thing for sure! I would have done the exact same thing if my MIL had some that! So rude and judgmental. Poor kid

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  • My kids played dress up all the time without prejudice. My girls loved dressing their brother up in their clothes and he loved that they cared and loved doing his hair etc. Roll play is very healthy. Good on you Mum and Dad supporting your son in every way. Love him always unconditionally. Grandma will realize her mistake and come around and love you all.

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  • My grandchildren have a drawer here at our place full of dress up clothes & I’ve never disapproved of my grandsons wanting to wear fairy costumes or my granddaughters wearing Superman outfits. Let children be children! Grandparents roles are for giving them fun.

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  • Your child’s mental health has to come first.

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  • This was absolutely the right thing to do. I applaud this woman for advocating for her child :)

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  • No one has the right to tell another how to parent. If the child is being upset then every right in the world to ask her to leave, however there will be other hurdles down the track that the youngster may have to deal with and this example may not be as good as the parents would wish.

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  • It seems to me that this mum and dad are just as judgemental as they claim ‘grandma’ is. That she had an opinion on her grandson wearing dresses shouldn’t have been an issue, picking on him though would have been another matter. Speaking to her first about how they want to parent is justifiable but if they are this think skinned then they are going to spend a lifetime deflecting and not managing issues that come along…..and there will be more issues (not just things about dresses!). Kicking her out hasn’t resolved the issue and has likely just caused a fracture in the family over something that could have discussed and conversed about – grandma doesn’t need to agree about everything you decide to do as parents, but you all need to respect each other. Children need their grandparents too….even if they are ‘old fashioned’ sometimes. Throwing out the voice of a prior generation because we think we have all the answers is foolish and immature. It’s interesting that the majority think it’s fine…how sad that most people would rather live with angst than resolution for the sake of being ‘right’.


    • I think we do need to give the older generation time to get used to the changes that have happened so quickly. A missed opportunity by this mother to educate her mother in law.



      • The grandmother was already spoken to by the father and chose to repeat the behaviour and intentionally tried to shame her grandson into wearing jeans. He deserves to be psychologically safe I. His own home and she did not provide that environment. The parents do not need to put up with the grandmother picking on their child.

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  • Good on the parents for sticking up for their son!

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  • If mum and dad both agreed on the move out please ..that’s fine with me.

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  • childhood is a wonderful time to true experiment.

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  • Good on you for standing up to your MIL and setting boundaries. There are not enough of those these days. He’s your son and it’s your job to protect him and make him feel safe. You did the right thing by your family and your son. I’m so glad your husband backed you up too. And the other family members have no right to be involved.

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  • It’s tricky because I understand protecting your child. I also think that there is an opportunity to educate the mother in law and help her to understand why her attitude is harmful and unkind to their child. I hope the grandmother stops speaking badly about the woman and her family and learns from this. Too many children grow up scared to share who they really are because they are worried how others will respond to them

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  • My son loved to wear dresses too and we always let him. One afternoon he and his friend were dressed up as girls and when I shared a picture with the mum of my son’s friend she asked please don’t share with my husband as he would get very mad. The older generation and people from a different culture may not appreciate this at all.
    However these parents clearly indicated they’re fine with their son wearing dresses and grand parents should respect that. When they can’t I agree that they should leave


    • Btw my son is 16yrs old now and is not gay. Last summer he wore a dress just for a bit of fun and I love it !

    Reply

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