I was with him up until the demand for therapy. Yes, he and his wife have every right to expect that the grandparents respect their decisions, especially when they’ve been so clearly communicated. And asking to work through an exercise about expectations wasn’t unreasonable – it might have resulted in all of them having a mutual, clear understanding. But therapy isn’t to force someone to do what you want.

I think the parents are the ones who decide what baby can eat, drink, and other restrictions they want to put. And parents or other relatives should obey these rules. If they don’t know what to do they should ask.
This is totally about the respect from people who surround you.

I agree that his parents have overstepped the boundaries. They need to know that if they aren’t going to follow the rules that he and his wife have set, then his parents shouldn’t be allowed to look after them without supervision. Raising children has changed and I understand this. I had to bite my tongue when our parents tried to tell us how to raise our boys. I wouldn’t shut them out completely but they can only visit if you or both you and your wife are present. Hope things work out okay for you both

I agree with comments here about grandparents respecting rules set by the parents.

i feel that i am not alone in this world when handling grand parents. omg i think i told 1000 times everyday but they never listen 1 time. so fair enough when i read this article i feel okay everywhere the same issue. however they need to listen to the parents.

Along with my other comments below; are there possibly deeper issues with the family dynamics and the relationships. A child should never be weaponised in family relationships and if there are issues they need to be addressed minus having the child at the centre. Sometimes families do need distance if there is toxic behaviour.

Too often we hear of and even experience grandparents not respecting the parents wishes in terms of raising our own kids. It’s sad and super frustrating. Unless it’s something extremely serious or keeps happening I wouldn’t hold onto the grudge too much. I’d speak to them a few times about it and let it play out. But yeah I’d too stop sending as many photos, just pull back abit and hopefully they learn their lesson.

Whether this MIL agrees or not with the rules and boundaries regarding her Grandchild she must except them and abide by them. She has had her turn of raising a child now it is her sons and DIL turn to raise their child as they see fit (providing there is no danger or harm involved).

It’s very important for grandparents to respect the rules of parents as they are the parents now, despite the fact that the grandparents have raised kids, it is now the parents turn. I understand this well because my MIL doesn’t respect our rules at all and goes against them every chance she gets. That being said, I think these parents are going a bit over the top. You don’t need to have a full melt down and therapy after such a small slight. I think they need to calm down. My MIL has slighted me worse than that and I still allow them access to their grandkids. Family is family and at the end of the day, doing things like this could be damaging to their child.

It is so very important for mutual respect to feature in all adult relationships. Boundaries and rules do indeed need be followed and respected at all times by all members of a family. If the adults cannot act with maturity then maybe they do need to work on the issues and seek support.

I feel there is more wrong in their relationship than just this incident. The relationship has become now so strained and goes over the head of the 6 month old, which is harmful.
I do think that grandparents should respect the rules and boundaries set by the parents; when they don’t understand these they can ask for explanation, but in the end it doesn’t matter whether they agree or not. I think some distance and cool down period is appropriate. But then sit together and talk as adults together.

My mum did something similar, it was a sweet biscuit instead. Very upsetting I know. My mum didn’t get it. She did it afew times and eventually my baby stopped eating sweet biscuits. I don’t think therapy is reasonable. The baby will eventually eat custard and other sweet things with age.

Talk to each other like adults, stop using the child as a weapon to one up each other ladies. Yes mum you have a right to be upset over the custard but seriously grandma not wanting to be on camera is no big deal at least she was there and willing to listen. It sounds like the daughter in law doesn’t respect her MIL and vice versa – maybe talk that through as well, so this little baby can grow up with his grandparents in his life.

As a grandparent there is unconditional love for grandkids. Grandparents are used whenever it suits the parents

That’s a tough situation to be in for sure! Whilst you have every right to be angry as i would, they really should respect a parents wishes whether if they agree or not, its their child. That’s just pure respect. I would have distanced myself too. But requiring them to attend therapy i feel is overstepping and that shouldn’t be forced.

I don’t agree with OPs mum going against their wishes and feeding a banned food to their baby. It sounds as if this is their first child and it’s not okay to purposefully break their rules. I really don’t agree with OP and his wife demanding his parents to go to therapy to have contact with the child. I think that’s really over stepping. They are using their child to manipulate and control. Glad to see the consensus was ESH, because they do!