Hello!

Settling on the name for your first baby can be tricky – there’s so much to consider! But what if you just can’t agree because one of you wants ‘unique’ names and the other prefers more ‘normal’ monikers?

A 28-year-old dad-to-be says he thrilled to be a dad, and recently found out that he and his 27-year-old wife are having a little girl.

“We had an agreement that we wouldn’t talk about names until we knew the gender, so of course on our way home from the gynecologist, we immediately started discussing,” he explained. “We’ve talked about this a little before, and we agreed that we both have veto power.

“I suggested my all time favourite name, Anna. My wife suggested Caeleigh (pronounced Kailey, and yes she spelled it out). I vetoed it.”

But that wasn’t the only ‘out-there’ spelling his wife offered up.

“She suggested another name, Ryleigh (Riley, and again she did spell it out). I vetoed it and suggested Riley spelled the normal way. She refused.”

“She then suggested Novalynn. I vetoed, suggesting Nora as an alternative. She again refused.

“This continued a few more times, until she snapped at me, calling me unreasonable for vetoing all her picks. She said, ‘What’s the point in talking about it if you veto all my choices, you controlling asshole!’ I responded ‘Maybe if you picked something normal, we might get somewhere, but you won’t even try to compromise!’ She looked really hurt, and we drove the rest of the way home in silence.”

Now the husband is wondering whether he was too hasty in shooting down his wife’s choices.

Let us know what you think in the comments below. 

We may get commissions for purchases made using links in this post. Learn more.
  • I think both parents should agree on the name.

    Reply

  • Your child has to live with spelling their name everytime they’re asked for their name. Give them the right spelling.

    Reply

  • Love the names but spelt the correct way. Makes life so much easier I think.

    Reply

  • Having lived my life with a name no-one could easily spell, I am with the father in this dispute. My name is not particularly unusual, but every reward I ever received including names on cups or glasses, has never had my name spelled correctly. These days I couldn’t care less, but it does still become awkward with government entities. Could people please think what they are subjecting their child to when they pick strange or unusual spellings names. They don’t have to live with it, but their poor, poor child certainly does!

    Reply

  • I love the names but definitely not the spelling. She’s being unreasonable by not being willing to compromise. Hopefully you get this sorted before your girl is born and it’s something she’ll be able to spell easily when she is old enough. My name is simple enough and people still don’t spell it right even when I spell it slowly for them to write down.

    Reply

  • I don’t understand why people have to change the spelling of a name so dramatically just to be different.
    The wife should compromise.

    Reply

  • Our role as parents is to do the best we can for our children.

    I have no problem with unusual names – some are absolutely delightful.

    However, choosing a name simply because we like it without considering the difficulties children may have for the rest of their lives spelling their names, and probably correcting the pronunciation as well is for our benefit, not the child’s..

    I know quite a few people who are in this situation, and what may have been cute and interesting when they were children is no longer the case.
    One of those people even changed their name by deed poll, as she hated her given name so much.

    I find it tough enough with a surname that can’t be changed, and I accept that, but having to spell your first name, and correct the pronunciation, for the rest of your life as well would be a nightmare.

    The names the wife has chosen are lovely, and the husband has agreed with the name, but not the spelling, which was then rejected. So basically, they are both vetoing the names.

    Hopefully they can agree on both the name and the spelling of the name, and they, AND their child, will be happy in the future.

    Reply

  • Wife accuses husband for vetoing all her picks, but so does she with his

    Reply

  • Im not one to add my opinion when its not my child – but both parents should definitely agree

    Reply

  • Why not suggest a name spelled normally (so the child won’t be continually spelling out their name) for the first name and one that your wife liked as a middle name. I always had 2 names that I liked and then when bub was born I would look at him/her and then chose the name that suited.

    Reply

  • The first suggestion wasn’t horrible- she’d be forever spelling it out, but the second- yuck! I think they need to invest in a baby name book and go through and find something they both like.

    Reply

  • These arguments have been happening for decades. If I was born a boy my Dad wanted to call me Astro. My Mother prayed for a girl.

    Reply

  • This is a toughy. But I think mum could come to the party here and compromise too… if she likes the name Riley why not be ok with spelling it correctly. Its not fun spending your entire life correcting the pronunciation and spelling of your name. I would never do that to my child.

    Reply

  • Agreeing on a name can be difficult. But then, try to keep nice and normal names that wont make it difficult for the child to spell or say as she grows up. There can be a middle ground if both parties are willing to work on it.

    Reply

  • It has to be a joint decision… but it looks like your wife wants your childs name to be “special” – aka a bully magnet.

    Reply

  • These decisions need to be made together and with reason, and with thought for the child who has to wear this name for their entire life. Maybe let it go for now and try again.

    Reply

  • I don’t think the husband was too hasty, I don’t know why we need to keep changing the spelling of names and calling our children ocean or moon river etc. What is wrong with Thomas or Zoe. I still have trouble with the name siobhan. My daughter and her husband used an app to see how many names they agreed on..

    Reply

  • Agreeing on a name can be hard, especially when you have completely different tastes but you get there in the end. I personally like the first two names your wife chose, even the spelling of Ryleigh.

    Reply

  • We just searched a name till we found one we both liked. My eldest was named 3 or 4 days after birth

    Reply

  • It’s a mutual decision so there are bound to be disagreements.

    Reply

Post a comment

To post a review/comment please join us or login so we can allocate your points.

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just a star rating?

Write A Rating Just A Star Rating
Join