A fed-up dad says his wife makes their seven-year-old son shower immediately after visiting friends, and won’t let him have friends over because of her ‘unhealthy’ obsession with a clean house.

The 34-year-old father says he’s constantly walking on eggshells around his wife, but now fears he may have gone too far by calling her ‘crazy’.

The concerned dad says his wife Jen, 32, is a perfectionist, constantly cleaning, sterilising and organising the house.

“This has been an issue in our relationship because I constantly feel like I’m walking on eggshells around her. Her OCD tendencies have gone into overdrive ever since Robby was born.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that she’s diligent when it comes to keeping our home clean and healthy. However, I feel like it’s become unhealthy, specifically regarding Robby. Robby has cried on several occasions because he’s the only one in his friend group that can’t have company over. He’s rarely allowed to visit friends, and when he does, he has to immediately shower from head to toe thoroughly. I’ve addressed these issues with Jen, but she refuses to see me and Robby’s point of view.”

‘You’re f*****g crazy!’

The situation came to a head recently when the family was at home, and Jen had just finished cleaning the living room carpet, and headed off to clean the bathroom. Robby poured himself a glass of milk and went into the living room to watch TV.

“At some point, Robby accidentally knocked over his glass, which spilled some milk onto the carpet,” the dad explained on reddit. “I was in my bedroom, the next thing I know, I hear Jen screaming at the top of her lungs.

“I rush into the living room and see Jen screaming at Robby while he cries in the corner. He looked terrified, he just kept frantically apologising and shaking. Jen screamed, ‘I JUST F*****G CLEANED THIS CARPET! WHY DIDN’T YOU DRINK THE MILK IN THE KITCHEN?!’ I stepped in and told Jen to calm down, it’s just a little milk, no big deal. She continued to yell nonstop and started aggressively cleaning the milk while cussing at Robby under her breath.

“I told Robby to go into his room so Jen and I could talk alone. After he left, I told Jen that she shouldn’t have screamed at Robby like that. She defended herself by saying that he knew the rules and should’ve known better. I told her that he’s a little boy who made a mistake that anyone could’ve made. After things continued to escalate, I realised that there was no getting through to her. I yelled, ‘Robby and I are sick and tired of your BS. Robby can’t even be a kid because he’s constantly terrified of you. I’m not gonna sit back and let you do this to me and Robby anymore. You’re f*****g crazy!!”

His wife fell silent, continuing to clean the carpet, while the dad took his son out for ice cream and a chat. After they returned, Jen had locked herself in the spare bedroom.

“She refuses to acknowledge me and hasn’t spoken to me since yesterday. For the first time in years, I saw her go a whole night and morning without cleaning. I’m starting to feel like I went too far, but I was just trying to defend my son.”

What do you think about the situation? Did the dad go too far, or was he justified?

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  • Poor Robby caught up in his mum’s over the top obsessions. The whole family sound like they need counselling. I don’t blame dad for trying to protect his child.


  • Sounds like she needs some psychological help.


  • Sounds like she need a help.


  • Please get help. Something else is going on and the cleaning is a symptom/expression of that.


  • I think she needs professional help. It’s probably something she knows even if she doesn’t acknowledge it.


  • OCD is definitely a curse at times. I don’t think he went too far but in her eyes, he may just as well have hit her. She does need help when it’s affecting her little boy and she won’t ever get to thoroughly enjoy her son growing up if she keeps going like this. I wish her calmness and hope that she gets help so she can start enjoying her son’s growth from this time forward.


  • This sounds like a hard battle – OCD has gotten extreme and it seems the dad has had enough.


  • I’m not sure if he went to far, maybe this is something that she needed to hear as she might not have realised what affect it was having on her family


  • If she legitimately has ocd, maybe she needs to talk to a professional about it.


  • Send her round to my place if she needs to work off some excess house cleaning ????


  • I understand he feels he went too far but maybe she needed to hear that. I’ve been similar to the wife before not to that same degree but one day when my son started freaking out he dropped some crumbs on the carpet and was scared I’d yell I knew I needed to change. Hopefully they can talk to together and the wife works through the issues with help she has that are causing her to clean so much.


  • Hopefully while your wife has been incommunicado in her room and not cleaning, she has also been thinking. She may need help, and wasn’t aware of it before this. I do hope you will all be able to sort this out. No child should be in fear of his parents and neither parent should feel they are constantly on egg-shells and petrified they may break. Wishing you all the best of luck for a new easier relationship in the future.


  • Like you’ve called your wife f*****g crazy for doing what every mother in the world does, tell there kid off for not listening to her. I think the poor woman needs to tell you she’s not putting up with your bs fancy taking the kid out for icecream. Then to pick fault with her cause she has a clean house like are you serious. No woman needs to see a councilor for telling her kid off for not listening and keeping a clean house. I don’t think you need to interfere in a mother telling off her child. Like he was in the wrong so got told off it is not a accident to disobey the mother and not drink the milk in the kitchen like she told him too.


  • I think dads out of line interfering then berating his wife. Plus then he’s undermining her being in charge and handling her son how she wants too. Her house her rules dad should not interfere. She’s probably told the kid over 100 times to sit at the table, after spending all day cleaning it’d drive anyone mad a kid that doesn’t just do as there told when they’ve been told over and over to eat and drink at the table. No one likes food or drinks spilt on carpet. Especially if they have animals that might smell the food and destroy the carpet. The issue might be the frustration at the kid not listening to mum. As for showers straight after playing kids get filthy and sweaty its good to get them all cleaned up straight away so they feel comfortable and shower is done they are clean for dinner. Like everytime my daughter comes back from childcare it’s straight in the shower. To then take the son away and talk to him the dad has reinforced the kid can do what he likes and doesn’t have to listen to his mum. Dad will inferere take charge. I’d rip you a new one if you where my husband. You should tell your kid to listen to his mother.


  • Completely justified- the mum needs to wake up and realise that Robby is going to end up hating her. She is not building a relationship with him at all because he’s too scared of her. It’s not right.


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