A new mum is devastated after she was ditched from her best mate’s bridal party, because she gained weight during pregnancy.

The mum has shared her plight on Mumsnet, reaching out to fellow mums and asking if her disappointment is justified.

The mum explained that she gave birth last year and had put on around 19kg and because of her chunkiness, she was excluded from her friend’s bridal party.

I Feel Bad Enough Already…

“I do feel awful about myself, which I’ve told my friend several times…,” the mum said.

The mum wrote: “We’ve been friends for a long time and over the years she has always made references to me being a bridesmaid when she gets married.

“This afternoon she tagged 4 friends on Facebook introducing them as her ‘team bride’.

“I felt really upset about it, but still, I messaged her to say congratulations on the team bride.

“It Wouldn’t Be Right For Me!?!”

“She replied saying she really wanted me to be a part of it but it wouldn’t have been right for me.”

The bride told her that the bridesmaid dress she had picked “would be an issue given how you feel about yourself right now”.

It’s Just A Big FAT Excuse

The woman said she feels like the bride is using her insecurities as an ‘excuse’

“I feel so hurt at her reasons for not asking me to be a bridesmaid.

“All 4 girls she’s picked are super stick thin (as is my friend) maybe size 8/10’s, I’m a size 16/18 and I can’t help but feel I’d ruin the ‘image’ if she picked me and that’s exactly why she hasn’t asked me.

“She is right that I wouldn’t feel great in that dress right now, but her wedding isn’t until May next year which would’ve given me plenty of time to lose some weight!!

“Am I being unreasonable to think she doesn’t want me in her team bride because of how I look, she’s thinking more about having ‘perfect’ pictures, and just using my feelings as an excuse?”

Yikes! So Cringy

The sad mum also shared a text message from her so-called friend, in which she explains why she’s leaving her out of the bridal party.

“I just think the dress would be an issue given how you feel about yourself right now.

“I know the style wouldn’t compliment your body shape or be something you’d ever typically wear and I know you’d feel uncomfortable if you did have to wear it.

“I have my heart set on those dresses and I wouldn’t expect you to wear something that wasn’t right for you, but I also wouldn’t want to compromise and change my dresses.

“All of the girls love them and feel super happy wearing them,” the text read.


The Mumsnetters were absolutely disgusted by the bride’s behaviour and called her many unsavoury names.

“Absolute cowbag!” said one.

“Wow. That is not a friend you need in your life. I’m sorry OP but she is utterly self-absorbed!”

“How unbearably superficial of her. I honestly would not feel able to be friends with someone so unutterably vain.”

“That is absolutely brutal. What a horrible person she is!”

How would you react if this happened to you? Have you ever been in an awkward bridesmaid situation before? Tell us in the comments below.

  • That is so cruel of her and I wouldn’t keep her as a friend. Most of my friends are stick thin and they’ve never left me out of anything because of my size. You already sound like you have issues about your size and if she was a true friend she’d show that size means nothing to her. Our body size doesn’t detract from who we are and your true friends know that. You are a beautiful person who deserves to be loved for who you are and that should never change.


  • A true friend wouldn’t do do that
    That’s terrible that she did that and so shallow


  • What a horrible thing to do! I picked my bridesmaids BEFORE the dresses. Both were around a size 16 and had very large breasts. I pretty much said I’d like purple dresses but I want you to be comfortable. If the bride has “always wanted” the friend to be her bridesmaid, why not let her pick a dress in the same colour but better suited to her frame? And like the poor poster said, she has nearly a year to get into shape and it would have been great motivation for her. I’d tell the bride how hurtful and insensitive she is being


  • This would make me determined to work my butt off & turn up at her wedding looking better than the bridesmaids chosen. Who knows that the current bridesmaids will even make it to the wedding because of bride’s attitude…… she may have to come back begging to have at least one bridesmaid! Anyway now you can enjoy the wedding without all the bridesmaid’s duties! That’s if you could be bothered attending!


  • This is horrible. I had a friend who was getting married and one of her bridesmaids was a larger lady, while the other bridesmaid was thin. The bride made sure that the dresses chosen suited both bridesmaids as well as being something that she herself liked. Getting married is about celebrating with your friends and family. If your “perfect” dress does not suit one of your friends, choose a different dress. Sheesh. There are so many styles where you can get the same “look” but make everyone comfortable. I’d say this bride is a bad friend and this mum is better off without her.


  • Wow – not much of a friend here. Clearly she cares more about looks than friendship.


  • Not much of a friend if she doesn’t want you in the bridal party. I would cut her out of my life if I were her.


  • I have been a bride slave 4 times and each was a very different experience. She’s not a true friend if she doesn’t want you in her bridal party. I think you’ll find that over time your friendship will reduce as you clearly have different priorities and values.


  • So unbelievably selfish! In my first wedding I allowed each bridesmaid to have a slightly different blue dress to fit in with my one ‘friend’ at the time who wanted to reuse one she had! It’s not about the dresses or the ‘look’ it should be about being surrounded by your closest loved ones.


  • Seems to be about the looks and not the heart


  • I had one maid of honour and that was it, she had a baby two weeks prior I had her comfortably wear a nice pant suit with a silk shirt, she was gorgeous and comfortable I braided her hair and out roses in the braid fresh ones, and she was still glowing from bubba and looked great. Stop being so bitchy girls!!! What happened to asking people who you care about for it to be a happy day, not insta wedding this is all getting ridiculous. You need new friends no excuse.


  • Never been part of a wedding party apart from being the bride. so have not had this problem. Maybe the reasons the bride to be are right but that is not for her to say. Give a person a chance to see if they do not like that style of dress. Anything can happen in a year, who is to say everyone in the wedding party will not change shape.


  • Disgusting. I gained over 20 with my twins and it someone treated me that way I’d say good riddens


  • That’s so brutal! So many people gain weight during pregnancy but also lose a lot of it within the year after having a baby so seems like a poor excuse to not include the friend.


  • Ditch that friendship


Post a comment
Like Facebook page

LIKE MoM on Facebook

Please enter your comment below
Would you like to include a photo?
No picture uploaded yet.
Please wait to see your image preview here before hitting the submit button.
Your MoM account

Lost your password?

Enter your email and a password below to post your comment and join MoM:

You May Like


Looks like this may be blocked by you browser or content filtering.

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just a star rating?

Write A Rating Just A Star Rating