A Florida mum was shamed after she posted on her Facebook page about a decision she made to skip her daughter’s school assembly.

Kristen Hewitt told ABC News, it was the first time she had ever missed one of her kids’ events to do something for herself.

Her parenting crime: Going on a run and having her daughter’s dad and grandmother attend the school assembly in her place.

She explained how she talked to her daughter in advance of the event and told her how proud she was of her. She took her for ice cream afterwards.

“Guess what. She understood, gave me a hug, and thanked me for all I do for her. She also learned by example today that SELF-CARE matters. Sometimes as parents we have to make hard decisions and show up for ourselves instead of showing up for our kids. “

She has been called everything from a selfish b**** to a narcissist. But maintains she “did what was best for me and for my family,” she said.

And she’d do it all over again, if for no other reason than to model how important self-care is to her own daughter.

“It’s OK to say to no to kids every once in awhile and say yes to yourself.”

In a blog post addressing the backlash Kristen writes, “I make no apologies for missing that assembly that day, nor do I regret posting it on social media. And I encourage more women to do the same. It doesn’t matter if you’re a single mom, a stay at home mom, or work 80 hours a week, our kids don’t need us at every book fair, concert, cookie day, superlative ceremony, baseball game, or one of the other 8,000 events they have every single year. And you don’t need an excuse for why you’re missing it.”

Thank you, Kristen! I so needed to read that at the moment.

Do you think it was a selfish decision OR a very smart choice?

Share your comments below.

Image via Facebook

We may get commissions for purchases made using links in this post. Learn more.
  • Oh please…..as long as the child had family members there then I say go for it Mum.


  • I don’t quite agree that it was a smart choice, but she did organize her parents to be there in her stead. Would these same naysayers say the same about a working mother who couldn’t attend the function?


  • Hmm, I can see both arguments. As a mum, I am desperate for some mum time and that includes keeping myself healthy. However, if assemblies aren’t a regular thing, I would probably have gone earlier to the gym so I could make that assembly.


  • Oh no, for shame on the mother for doing something for herself!! We all need some time to ourselves to feel human not just a mother.


  • A very smart choice. This was a one off, she is a great mum that is looking after herself, loves her daughter and in turn will be a better mother I’m sure.


  • Do you know what, Kristen did what she felt was right for her to make her feel better as a person and Mum. She was okay with it. Her daughter was okay with it. The rest of us don’t get to have an opinion or say.


  • Kristen did what she felt she needed to do, and made sure someone was at the assembly for her daughter and made sure her daughter understood. What’s not to like in this situation. Many working parents just wouldn’t have turned up and no-one would bat an eye at them.


  • Blah blah blah. Who cares? Plenty of parents make these decisions daily but don’t feel the need to overshare on the internet. She obviously did it for a reaction. I’m not judging her decision just her need to paste it all over FB.


  • I am sure Honour Roll Assemblies are very important to a child. It is not as though they would happen several times in a year….it’s probably once a year. It was NOT a normal school assembly. It was a SPECIAL one. We only had one a year when my brother were at school and we were 3 years apart. As it is probably a once a year event I reckon she was selfish. Surely she could have gone running another time – not that exact time.


  • So long as her child was ok with it then that’s all that matters


  • Unless her kid was given an OAM at the assembly who cares if she missed it? I didn’t even realize parents could go. Nobody was there to congratulate me when I got student of the week in grade six and I’m not a serial killer (yet).


  • Not a selfish decision at all, even when dad and grandmother wouldn’t be there. but they were there, so I don’t even understand what is the point.
    Assemblies aren’t that important and they’re held at times that many parents are at work. Why would the school expect that parents come to school during school hours to applaud for their kids achievements anyway ? They can do that at home too.


  • It’s not like no one went. I’m a teacher and we have many many students where no one attends events for or with them.


  • Yes it is important for self care,(surely she could have run earlier) but she was put on the honour roll that is a huge deal in your child’s life (well it is to me, but maybe I am weird) I have been to any many kids assembies as possible as soon they will not want me there….but to me this is a must see but each to there’s own.


  • As long as it wasn’t something important for the kid, who cares


Post a comment
Like Facebook page

LIKE MoM on Facebook

Add a photo
Your MoM account

Lost your password?

Enter your email and a password below to post your comment and join MoM:

You May Like


Looks like this may be blocked by your browser or content filtering.

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just a star rating?

Write A Rating Just A Star Rating