I don’t think bringing it up is a good idea. It’s not really anyone else’s business. If the family wanted advice, they would ask for it. I don’t think shaming her into changing things would be helpful. I think it would just create tension.

I think if you’re a doctor or dietitian and the mum asks for your opinion, then sure, give it. Otherwise it isn’t really your business.

Absolutely not.
It isn’t for you to decide whether or not her child is obese or to discuss it.

I think you all need to stay in your lane. You will be telling this mumma that she isn’t a good one and that is being neglectful to her child. Her decisions may not be ones that you would make but you need to respect we all do things differently. What are you trying to achieve???

100% do not be involved in this. This is not a group of supportive woman this is a gang up situation and its woman who want to feel better about themselves rather then helping this child. If one of them felt strongly about this they would have quietly pulled this Mum aside and had a one on one with her tahter then discussing it with a group of other Mums and getting a group together to talk to her. Make it clear you want nothing to do with this and if they go to talk to her when you are there just walk away.

Don’t think an intervention would help, she would reach out if she needs

By the time you turn 60 you will be complaining which way the wind blows and anything else you can whinge about . Learn 2 words HAPPY and SUPPORT .Hello to my Fat Average and Skinny friends that I treat the same and to think I thought mad cow disease had been eradicated

I would say anything. If she wants to bring it up herself you could ask how you can support her, but I would be hesitant to make any suggestions.

If professionals are involved then you shouldn’t get involved. An intervention by her friends isn’t going to help, if anything it’s going to make her realise she has no-one she can turn to. You need to be that friend who is there if she wants to talk. Let her know she can come to you if she needs support for her son.

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  • • mom93821 replied
    • 16 Apr 2023 , 7:38 am

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  Support is the most important gift you can give a friend.

If professionals are already involved, I would offer what I could do in support of current plans – what foods should I offer if the child is at my house or in a group setting that is bring a plate style, etc

Friendship is not a ticket to judge and to comment on children. If professionals are already involved, how does it value add to have friends intervene and what would this intervention actually be. Best to value a friendship and leave the parenting of a child to those with the responsibility and other professionals. There might be so many other factors not mentioned or discussed.

If she really is your best friend it’s best not to say anything. Maybe when she says he eats 6 packs of chips you can suggest she offer fruit or a healthier alternative in general conversation but I wouldn’t directly comment on his weight. I’m sure she already knows all you are going to tell her but if she doesn’t change her diet it is unlikely his will change.

I think if there’s already professionals involved there’s little they can do if they want to keep the friendship. If the friend is overweight too it sounds like the whole family need a makeover and learn to be healthy. The issue with that is that the parents need to both commit and want to do it.

Its probably best to be supportive in so many other ways than pointing out problems that she’s most likely already aware of.

Like the topic could be broached in a if you need any advice or help we’re here for you type of way, otherwise leave it too the professionals

If professionals are already involved I think the best thing to do is to keep quiet.

I say start a walking club or some other on going exercise activity
And get all the kids involved
Encourage by example
Getting the group together regularly and all sticking to it would have a softer message without an intervention that could blow up in the groups face

No it’s not your place to say anything the only outcome from this “intervention” is you’ll lose a friend

I wouldn’t say anything. Unless she brings it up then maybe you could offer some help, but surely she knows and doesn’t need to feel judged by her friends.

Perhaps instead of confronting her and bringing it up as your child is overweight only conversation it may be an idea to say:
We are aware that mr. 5 and you are getting help from the professionals regarding your /his eating habits. Is there anything we can do as your friends to help out when we get together?