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April 18, 2017

9 Comments

Now that you occasionally talk, act and maybe even dress like her you’ve probably realised your mum was onto something.

Sometimes I hear myself talking to my kids and wonder if my own mother is in the room.

No matter your relationship with your mum, I bet she said these at some point. And if you’re anything like me, you spent many years trying to deny them ALL.

Nothing prepares you for having kids

It’s not until you spend the night in emergency trying to sleep on a plastic chair, sit through the parent-teacher interview from hell, or another defining parental moment, you really get to experience those emotions. Created purely from your deepest love, with a touch of misery and often frustration and despair.

Life isn’t fair

Have you noticed we spent the first two decades of your life fighting this, and the next two promoting it? If life were fair, we’d be the ones curled up eating ice cream in front of our favourite movie. Completely oblivious, and someone would be magically cleaning the house.

Comfortable shoes might not be classy, but they get the job done

If you’ve ever seen women at the races, you’ll know that walking on stilts needs practice. The older you get, the more comfort becomes a valued commodity. Ain’t nobody got time for stilettos daily when you’re juggling school, food shopping, and sometimes literally jogging into the office so you can pretend you weren’t late.

The greatest thanks as a mother is seeing your kids happy

There’s nothing better than the sound of kids laughing. Why? Because they’re no longer hanging off you demanding chocolate, TV, to go outside to play (or just a straight up trip to Disneyland because it’s worth a crack, right?). They’re just happy, doing their own thing, and it’s beautiful to watch while you eat the chocolate you didn’t let them have.

Kids grow up so fast

They just do. One minute you’re fleeing the front gate on their first day of school with tears streaming down your face, and in the blink of an eye you’re getting graduation photos. Nothing prepares you for the sadness and joy of your kid’s last day at school. Relief, worry, pain and hope all compress into red-rimmed eyes and a puffy nose.

Motherhood means shaping the next generation

Part teacher, nurse, counsellor. Not to mention being the cook, cleaner, taxi-driver, and even jailor! Being a mother is like an apprenticeship, it’s not something you can pick up from a book or a course. Most parents take years to figure out what they’re doing, and even then we ALL feel like we’re “fudging it”.

But the best thing about being a mother? Most of our mistakes aren’t fatal. The best thing about the journey we’re on with our kids, is getting to the other side when they’re adults and looking back at all the memories you made together.

So, next time you hear your mother’s words coming out of your own mouth, stop for a second before you tell yourself off. Maybe it’s just a sign of what a great job you’re doing as a mum.

This post was originally published by Constance Hall on the website, likeaqueen.com and has been shared with full permission.

Rachel Doherty is a social worker, teacher and the founder of Tweens2teen.com.

Follow her on Facebook here.

Rachel- tweens2teen

What do you often hear yourself saying that your mum (or even gran!) used to say?

Share your comments below.

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  • i think that when i had kids, i understood my mother much more. Suddenly we had things in common and even though we were experiencing the same situation though in different generations, we could bond over the experience in general. i really appreciated her more and understood what she had done for me all my life. It made me look at her in a new way and all i wanted was her opinion and guidance and it definately made us much closer as she wanted to be there and helping me navigate it all. She was my rock and she really helped mother me while i was learning to be a mother :)

    Reply

  • I probably say more of what my dad said to me than my mom, but the article still rings true. Thanks for posting.

    Reply

  • So much truth in those comments.
    Yes, children definitely grow up quicker than the parents and grandparents did, partly because so much is expected of them at a younger age. My niece is given a lot more school homework than it was given at school – some of it beyond her understanding – and she is a bright kid well advanced some subjects, not just revising what she is learning. The school encourages outdoor exercise outside of school hours – impossible with the amount of homework some schools give even in year 3 or 4. There’s not enough daylight hours in Winter to do it.

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  • Mum jokes about how kids make you lose your mind. So so true.

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  • One thing I do what my mum used to do is going through all the names of my kids before I have the right one, lol !
    I never wore high heels, always have preferred comfy and flat shoes. My mum however at 82 years of age, still wears high heels !

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  • all the time! I loved the way i was raised, we got our bums smacked if we were naughty but we had enough freedom to become our own people

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  • Interesting. There have been many times when I’ve thought what my mother would have said/done in a situation and have actively attempted to be different .. at least to generate my own calculated response to a situation (usually different to what she would have done), rather than playing over with my child what would have happened to me! I think it is important to ‘improve’ upon past generations, keeping the good but throwing out the unhelpful, and we can’t do this without being a little critical of the past and spotting the good and bad that we experienced.

    One things that mum used to say that I think still rings true for me is: “Nothing lasts forever”. I used to think it was really negative, but now see ways that it can be positive and is often true, for example, when you are going through a sickness it helps to think it wont always be like this, and when you are dealing with tough toddlers you know one day they will be growns ups, so try and enjoy the ‘moment’ because it wont always be like this. Perhaps she was ahead of her time with ‘living in the moment’.. perhaps the only thing that does last forever!

    Reply

  • I don’t recall any of these, and to be honest, I don’t find them that accurate/useful

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  • No, yo mum didn’t say any of these. I have found myself saying a couple to my kids though. I always tell them to expect nothing then you’ll never be disappointed

    Reply

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