The mum said she feels caught between ruining their weekend and being a responsible parent…

A concerned mum has shared her story on Mumsnet saying that her son has asked her to lie for him. The mum says that her son has organised a cabin stay for his 17th birthday, inviting five others including his girlfriend, but has asked that his mum keep their plans a secret from his girlfriend’s parents.

Twisting The Truth

The mum says that she feels uncomfortable lying to the girl’s parents, especially as recent events have made the situation especially awkward. “My son has asked me to tell his girlfriend’s parents that I will be at the log cabin supervising otherwise his girlfriend won’t be allowed to attend,” she said. “Basically the back story is that his girlfriend’s dad walked in on him months ago and caught them in the act and has now forbidden any staying overnight with each other.” The mum said she doesn’t know whether to tell the truth and upset her son or keep it a secret and risk a loss of trust between the families. “I can’t really lie to her parents but I know it will ruin my son’s night if she is not there,” she said.

Differing Opinions

Responses to the mum’s post were varied but most agreed that lying could only end badly. “You are making yourself responsible for someone’s safety and their whereabouts,” said one parent. “Tell him you are not lying and to sort it out for themselves.” “No you can’t lie and you wouldn’t wish another parent to do it to you,” said another. Others were critical of the girl’s parents. “I’d lie for them…assuming they’re both over 16 they’re allowed to spend the night together!” one parent wrote.

Even though both children are over the age of sixteen, and this trip is obviously important to both of them, while they are still living with their parents, they have to abide by their rules. While we can understand this mum’s dilemma, lying to another parent is never a good idea.

What age would you feel comfortable about your child having their boyfriend/girlfriend stay over? Share your thoughts in the comments.

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  • If your caught out her parents could refuse to allow her to continue dating your son! If she gets pregnant, it’s going to be obvious that they slept together.
    How the mother is going to keep one from sneaking into bed with the other is beyond me, unless she shares a bed with one of them. She could be a really heavy sleeper and they could always sneak from one room to the other even if she was sleeping in the living room etc! Either way, I wouldn’t be lying to her parents as I wouldn’t want anyone to lie to me about my daughter! Any number of things could happen on that trip and if she says she was there when she wasn’t, it’ll prob get found out!


  • I wouldn’t be able to lie to them.


  • Call me old fashioned but I wouldn’t be able to lie about the above issue, it is morally wrong and as for letting my son’s girlfriends stay over I’m not sure that any age is appropriate. I am aware that being over 16-18 they appear mature however there area minority that are immature and I’d hate to be responsible for any issues in the future regarding enabling of a relationship that may not be long term. I try and teach my son respect and respect towards himself and others.


  • Never lie to parents over anything, quickest way to end up in a world of trouble


  • Sit down and have a chat with the other parents….. at the end of the day the kids are young adults and aren’t going to stop having sex due to a no overnight rule.


  • Definitely hard but truth and honesty should be best. Imagine it were. The other way around


  • Lies never end well. They always come out in the wash. Not worth it.


  • Nup. No way. Absolutely not! If they want to be treated like adults they need to begave like adults. That means sucking it up and telling her parents they are clearly having sex and being banned from sleepovers is not going to stop it. Her parents need a bucket of cold water and a slap in the face if they think its going to stop them. But time for quite a few people to grow up and behave responsibly here.


  • If the parents don’t ask then say nothing. But if they ask then tell the truth.


  • I wouldn’t lie and at the moment I don’t even want to think about my kids being old enough for this to be an issue.


  • I wouldn’t lie – but I also wouldn’t be surprised that teens are having sex.


  • I wouldnt lie for him. It will turn out worse if she does and then the girls dad forbids her from ever seeing him at all again ever!! That is something that he needs to sort out


  • I wouldn’t lie. If the father’s girl has concerns, he has all the rights.


  • Dont lie its not a good example


  • No i would not lie, they have to sort it out themselves indeed.


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