There is actually a Facebook group for parents who regret having children. True story!
The Facebook page “I Regret Having Children“, has a profile photo of a woman with the word “GUILTY” written across her forehead.
The page description reads “This page is here to let all the mothers and fathers know that regretting having a kid(s) is not abnormal and shouldn’t be a taboo subject.”
They warn against “soliciting regretful parents for adoption”, and reassuring users that there should be “no shaming of women or men for their non-euphoric feelings”.
The page has nearly 6000 followers. The talk is of parenting plus depression, debt, extreme stress; it is of not being able to relate to your children.
They have attracted lots of attention since a recent article appeared on The Guardian – ‘It’s the breaking of a taboo’: the parents who regret having children.
One mum explains – ” The day her daughter was born, the exact moment the tiny baby was placed in her arms, “I felt like, and still feel like, I made a mistake.”
One father posts: “I have an almost five-year-old girl. She is amazing. I spent her first four years regretting having her. Seeing all my single friends, or married friends without children, made me jealous. It’s like I died and lost my previous life. I entered a new life with much less joy, sex, sleep, FUN… I do wish people would talk about it more openly. Thank you, REAL people who are true to their feelings. I believe most parents suffer but they stay quiet with a fake smile.”
Another anon poster shares, “I have 10 month old twins, and I hate my life. My husband is in the Army, so away a lot. I hate the monotony and the constant CONSTANT crying and battles for attention. I’ve hated it since they were born. since having them I’ve become increasingly bitter, depressed and angry.”
Anon from USA shares, “I am 21 year old single mother of a two year old child. I’ve had feelings of regret since the day of birth. I genuinely believe my mental health is becoming more unstable as a result of not being ready for parenthood. I love my child immensely, but I genuinely hate the task of parenting daily. ”
Anon from UK shares, “I feel horrible. I really really do! It’s taken a lot for me to even write to you to explain! But I really hate my kids. I cannot physically, mentally, emotionally cope any more I really can’t! The worst part is its not even like I have a bad life, I have an amazing life! I am 23 years old, have 2 children aged 3 and 18 months, I am married to my absolute best friend, we have 2 cars a mortgage….everything a 23 year old could wish for! But that’s just it….I wished for it and it came true, but I now wish it didn’t”
It breaks your heart to read, and while I totally understand it is not abnormal at all and shouldn’t be a taboo subject, the biggest fear for me is that this really highlights the lack of support for parents and how much we desperately need better resources.
Do you ever have any regrets about having children?
Share your comments below.