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There is actually a Facebook group for parents who regret having children. True story!

The Facebook page “I Regret Having Children“, has a profile photo of a woman with the word “GUILTY” written across her forehead.

The page description reads “This page is here to let all the mothers and fathers know that regretting having a kid(s) is not abnormal and shouldn’t be a taboo subject.”

They warn against “soliciting regretful parents for adoption”, and reassuring users that there should be “no shaming of women or men for their non-euphoric feelings”.

The page has nearly 6000 followers. The talk is of parenting plus depression, debt, extreme stress; it is of not being able to relate to your children.

They have attracted lots of attention since a recent article appeared on The Guardian – ‘It’s the breaking of a taboo’: the parents who regret having children.

One mum explains – ” The day her daughter was born, the exact moment the tiny baby was placed in her arms, “I felt like, and still feel like, I made a mistake.”

One father posts: “I have an almost five-year-old girl. She is amazing. I spent her first four years regretting having her. Seeing all my single friends, or married friends without children, made me jealous. It’s like I died and lost my previous life. I entered a new life with much less joy, sex, sleep, FUN… I do wish people would talk about it more openly. Thank you, REAL people who are true to their feelings. I believe most parents suffer but they stay quiet with a fake smile.”

Another anon poster shares, “I have 10 month old twins, and I hate my life. My husband is in the Army, so away a lot. I hate the monotony and the constant CONSTANT crying and battles for attention. I’ve hated it since they were born. since having them I’ve become increasingly bitter, depressed and angry.”

Anon from USA shares, “I am 21 year old single mother of a two year old child. I’ve had feelings of regret since the day of birth. I genuinely believe my mental health is becoming more unstable as a result of not being ready for parenthood. I love my child immensely, but I genuinely hate the task of parenting daily. ”

Anon from UK shares, “I feel horrible. I really really do! It’s taken a lot for me to even write to you to explain! But I really hate my kids. I cannot physically, mentally, emotionally cope any more I really can’t! The worst part is its not even like I have a bad life, I have an amazing life! I am 23 years old, have 2 children aged 3 and 18 months, I am married to my absolute best friend, we have 2 cars a mortgage….everything a 23 year old could wish for! But that’s just it….I wished for it and it came true, but I now wish it didn’t”

It breaks your heart to read, and while I totally understand it is not abnormal at all and shouldn’t be a taboo subject, the biggest fear for me is that this really highlights the lack of support for parents and how much we desperately need better resources.

Do you ever have any regrets about having children?

Share your comments below.

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  • at first i thought that this was a joke but then i realised that they were serious and it is sad. i really enjoy growing with my children they make things better so i feel sorry for those who don’t feel that way as well.

    Reply

  • I feel like their slave! Single mum of boys 13 years apart, the older one cannot take responsibility for himself. The little one 8yo is stubborn. I have no support from either father or any family. I hate being a parent now. Loved it when they were babies. I have no life. Its horrible.

    Reply

  • I understand this. I don’t regret my children but on those bad days, those really tough ones where everyone is pushing their limits and you feel physically and mentally exhausted. The days that make you wonder “are all kids like this or are mine the only little terrorists running around causing havoc?” The days you where you go to bed with the mum guilt. Feeling stressed beyond what you’d ever imagine. The days where you feel you have reached your limit and couldn’t possibly take any more. They’re the days that I find myself wondering why I did this to myself, how the other half live. How nice it would be to be able to relax somewhere quiet, undisturbed. To be known as Alanna again, to be just myself, not just someone’s mum.
    But then a little person climbs into my bed, holds my hand and falls asleep with his face against my face and my heart warms and I’m filled with that overwhelming sensation of complete unconditional love and I know that I would never want my life to be any different and all is right with the world again.

    Reply

  • The only thing I would change would be the father as he turned violent whilst I was engaged to him and ended up a single mum from scratch. But I believe everything happens for a reason…

    Reply

  • No – the best thing I have ever done. Love every minute of it. :)

    Reply

  • Loved having all my children.

    Reply

  • It would appear some of the Mums may not have had a good support base. If couples waited until they considered they had enough money many may never have had any children at all.
    Mums suddenly find they have lost their independence, and some resent the baby for a long time, sometimes until they start school. It is sad but in some cases true. I have heard Mums comment “When I get my life back”.

    Reply

  • Thankfully for me I have never felt this. I have had regret for the children I didnt have. I always wanted 6 children but my husband met me half way and we had 3. I think it helps that we planned each of them and we were lucky enough to be able to put ourselves in a financially stable position before having them. We discussed our thoughts on how we should raise children, etc. Although once the children came along all the actual care of them fell to me. I was like a single mum that didnt have to worry about working to earn the money. Over 3 children I can count on one hand the number of times he changed a nappy. I wished he had been more of a hands on Dad but I never once regretted having my children.

    Reply

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