Hello!

10 Comments

YES please teach your kids about kindness, compassion and being inclusive of all, but please also teach them it is OK to be an arsehole sometimes. We all do it!

Reading a post about kindness on Scary Mommy today made me think of a few things. She wrote, “It’s hard to ignore the anger infesting our world these days. The news makes me want to weep and scream — sometimes at the same time. Comment sections on internet articles are filled with hate. Public shaming is rampant, and everyone seems angry about everything. People are sad and angry and hurting. Kindness. Don’t be an asshole seems to be the motto of good and decent people, but it takes more than not being an asshole; it takes kindness.

We can talk to our kids about being kind all day, but talking about it only gets us so far. We need to show them how to be kind too.”

While I totally agree we could all do with a good reminder to be kinder to one another, and it is one of the most important traits to teach children.

I do also think we often forget to teach our kids that it is OK to be grumpy, angry, and a total arsehole in their safe place. Their own home. Around their own people.

arsehole-kid

While this does not mean rude, disrespectful, nasty and cruel to friends and loved ones, I do mean that they have a right to feel off and be allowed to express that somehow. It is up to us as parents to help them find a way to express that.

I recently shared this post below on my own page, my seven year old came home cranky from school. I asked the question a few times what was wrong, if he wanted a cuddle, or to talk and got told a grumpy NO!!! That’s OK.

Then he snuck in for a cuddle when the time felt right for him. Telling me he didn’t know why he was cranky. That’s OK.  It’s OK to be cranky.

Children, even teens, don’t always know why they are feeling upset or understand what emotion they are feeling. It is up to us to try and guide them through, and make them realise we don’t expect them to always be on their perfect behaviour. We will tolerate their arsehole behaviour within reason. That’s what parents do!

A blog post by ex early childhood teacher, Kate on picklebums, “Why You Should Hug Your Kids When They Are Being Horrible” also reiterates “Sometimes, when our kids feel bad about themselves, they feel like they don’t deserve kindness and respect so they don’t behave in a way that encourages people to give them kindness or respect. So when they get frustration and anger in return, their feelings are validated, they feel worse about themselves, and the vicious cycle begins.

Break that cycle by offering a hug and a reminder that making a mistake does not make them a bad person.” So true!Read the full blog here.

I totally agree with this meme that is floating around the web.

and this one is a great message.

Do you teach your kids it is OK to be an arsehole?

Share your comments below.

Image stock photo

  • Yes definitely within reason. They need to vent and release their emotions as much as us adults but they need to be respectful at the same time

    Reply

  • Absolutely not.
    It is OK to have bad days and not understand their own young feelings, and need space and comfort, but maybe the author needed to choose a word that actually represents the true nature of the intended story line.

    That story had a great opportunity to be a great story, except it had ‘that’ word in it. There is no place for swearing of any kind in any situation ever. There are many more appropriate words and adjectives in particular available to give more credence to the author, the media re-posting it, and anyone else using the story.
    This site use some objectionably words and phrases just a little too often.

    Do you teach your kids it is OK to be an a***h***?
    Bleep it out, those people that use this kind of uneducated language with still understand the story, and those of us that do not need foul language will also understand the story.

    The difference is no one will be offended.

    Reply

  • What a really great post. Thank you.

    Reply

  • Our kids behavior is a often a result of our reactions towards them

    Reply

  • Maybe “asshole” is not a good word to use to describe the behavior of a kid who’s grumpy, cranky and what not. But I do agree with the Meme about “big emotions”

    Reply

  • Sure we think it’s ok for kids to be tired, moody, irritable and cranky…but being an arsehole ?

    Reply

  • If children are upset, it’s important to get them to let you know why. Even if they don’t know themselves, finding ways to get to the bottom of the problem is most important. Once you know what’s getting them down, you can work though the problem.

    Reply

  • Yes, it’s Ok for kids be cranky sometimes but not abuse innocent people, especially people who don’t know them or not very well. There is a difference from being cranky and being an absolute arsehole.

    Reply

  • Yes, little kids also have steam to be let off sometimes, and they are also too young to understand their emotions sometimes. It is our job to teach them how to be a balanced person.

    Reply

  • We all have the same emotions I guess even now as adult. It’s just that children find it hard to use words and understand why they are feeling angry or frustrated- so they act out out of anger!

    Reply

Post a comment
Like Facebook page

LIKE MoM on Facebook

Please enter your comment below
Would you like to include a photo?
No picture uploaded yet.
Please wait to see your image preview here before hitting the submit button.
Your MoM account


Lost your password?

Enter your email and a password below to post your comment and join MoM:

You May Like

Loading…

Looks like this may be blocked by you browser or content filtering.

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just a star rating?

Write A Rating Just A Star Rating
Join