If you’ve ever had to deal with an upset child, who feels like they are the only one not invited to a classmate’s birthday party, you’ll also understand the frustration of teachers who have to deal with the fallout.

Which is why one teacher has taken exception to parents allowing their children to deliver party invitations in front of classmates who aren’t invited. But not all parents agree.

The debate started when one mum, Jamie K, posted a video to TikTok, explaining that her daughter handed out six birthday party invitations at school. She says her daughter’s teacher then called her saying, “There’s 27 kids in the class, you didn’t send enough invitations. You have to invite everybody.” Jamie says she replied, “It’s a birthday party, not a soup kitchen.”

@realitykeck Is this a nationwide school policy? ????‍???? I can’t watch 27 kids at once are you insane lady! #BenefitOfBrows #BillboardNXT #ChimeHasYourBack #HowIBathAndBodyWorks #FlauntItChallenge #fyp #momsoftiktok ♬ original sound – Jamie K

The video prompted heated debate in the comments, with parents defending both sides of the argument.

“I just hope your daughter blames you so well that nobody starts to dislike for your misdeed. Of course all of them weren’t gonna come,” wrote Timere Cephas.

But another person commented: “It’s not her job to make other people’s kids feel like enough. It’s their parent’s job.”

It’s an opinion echoed by Marie, who wrote: “I feel like that’s a parent problem. As a parent you have to teach your kids about rejection and dealing with emotions about feeling left out.”

‘Leave it out of my classroom’

The video also prompted a reaction from a school teacher, who replied with her own video. “You don’t have to invite everyone! But hand it out after school or on your own time! Not in my classroom,” said Sydney.

YOU DONT HAVE TO INVITE EVERYONE!!! but hand it out after school or on your own time! not in my classroom.
♬ original sound – syd the kyd

“Newsflash,” she continued. “My kids know life isn’t fair. You know how I know that? I have students who live in cars. I have students who have dead parents. I have students who don’t know where their next meal is coming from. And you know what, often times it’s the students with the hard home lives who have trouble socialising and making aren’t invited to the birthday party.

“I’m not going to let you be their reminder that they didn’t win the popularity contest this year. Do that s**t in your own time and leave it out of my classroom.”

Do you let your kids hand out party invitations in class? Do you see anything wrong with it? Let us know in the comments below.

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  • I don’t think you should invite whole class…


  • I don’t believe that someone should have to invite the whole class to their party. However, if a child is handing out invitations this should be done discretely because I wouldn’t want to upset any if the kids who wouldn’t be invited.


  • I never thought of it because my twins are only two. I have a few teacher friends. I’ll ask what they think of this.


  • For the first year of school – we invited the whole class. After that we knew the parents and the kids enough to be able to be more discreet with the invitations.


  • I think it is wrong to hand them out in front of the class!


  • I think invitations should be handed out privately, not in front of everyone. I wouldn’t want to upset a child because they weren’t invited.


  • So I’m torn on this. I do think you do not have to invite an entire classroom. I did however encourage my son to give out the invites outside of class to those he wanted to attend. The teacher does not have to deal with this, it’s a combined effort. Kids need to understand they won’t be invited to everything and that’s a conversation I would often have with my child. But a little empathy as well of not showing off the handing out of invites.


  • I was always that kid and it was very difficult


  • Yep! I was one of those kids that didn’t get the invitation.
    I didn’t tell my parents, but it definitely upset me. I bottled it all up, became shy and withdrawn.


  • We always hand them out to parents at pickup or drop off time.


  • I have the parents phone numbers and message them . There is no way the whole class will come.


  • In the younger years ie kindy/pre primary we always invited the whole class but as they got older they just invited their friends but I always told them to make sure they were discreet when handing out invites.


  • You don’t have to invite everyone. My son is having his 6th birthday this month and invited 8 kids (there’s 20 in his class). He didn’t want to invite everyone because he finds big group hard. I spoke to the teacher and she said that she’ll put them privately in each student bag, easy done.


  • Don’t see why your child can’t invite his/her five or six friends to their birthday party privately without a written invitation. That way no-one gets hurt


  • Unfortunately schools don’t hand out parent emails to other parent. It would be a massive Break of privacy laws. We’re still not allowed on site at my kids school so I wouldn’t even know what the kids look like. It will be up to the teacher to help hand out invites, (my child is 5). Teacher doesn’t like it? Take it up with the education department or the OAIC!


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