Dad shares his thoughts on how men need to step up to the plate more and help their partner.

Jeremy Martin-Weber of Portland, Oregon, first went viral after sharing a lengthy post about getting on with his fatherly duties, explaining “I’m not the babysitter, I’m their DAD!”

Jeremy has taken to his Facebook page, Beyond Moi, to let other dads know how they can really help if their partner is unwell, or just in general even.

beyond moi

How do you step up when your partner is out for the count? Like when my wife had the flu just a couple days ago?

Let me count the ways:
You could make dinner for the kids that they may not want to eat,
Check for lice on their heads
Before putting them in beds (the kids, not the lice)
And then do the darn dishes because it’s always such a treat.
You could pick out their clothes
And maybe start some laundry loads;
Answer the 5 yr old’s 100 questions a minute
While cleaning up messes without throwing a fit.
And YOU be the person to help them work out their childish conflicts
Without making them feel like they’re just childish conflicts;
And, if they trust you, listen to your teenagers’ drama
Without laughing it off as just teen-aged melodrama.
And with the time you have left, still doing your best
To look after your partner, you should encourage her to rest;
Make her a pot of homemade soup, even if you’re slightly befuddled
And don’t forget to simply be there – she may just want to be cuddled.

Read more: Being the Default Parent is Relentless


“Does it sound like a lot? It is. Too much and you just want to kick back and relax? Yeah, who doesn’t? Your co-parent probably feels the same way. More so when they are sick. You don’t want your partner to be talking about how they still had to do everything when they were sick. You could just let it all pile up, you could dismiss her illness as “not that bad”.
Or, as this picture depicts, you could help put her fresh-pumped breastmilk away. Most would say it’s not my job, I don’t lactate, and it seems like such a hassle to divide it all up to be frozen in little baggies. But in reality, it only takes about 5 minutes, and it’s really not much of a challenge.

“There are so many little (and big) ways that we can be there for our partners, says Jeremy, all the year round, but especially when they’re sick, or stressed out and overwhelmed. When we make each other’s problems our own problems, and share the parenting and household responsibilities, we can shoulder the load in a way that demonstrates both support and care. But if nothing else, we can do it because it needs to be done.”

Well said, Jeremy! We love how willing he is to just get in and be the parent!

Read more from Jeremy:

Share your comments below.

  • Great post and wonderful to see how much times have changed.


  • Partners should live their lives side by side indeed, helping and supporting each other.


  • I totally agree. My partner does nothing around the house, yet criticises how things aren’t done. My son is the opposite. Him and his partner both work full time and share the kid duties and home duties equally. I’m really proud of him


  • I know one Dad who does as much or more of every household chore except house cleaning. It is a bit difficult as he works night shift and has to sleep during the day. (He doesn’t manage to sleep as heavily in the day time as he does not the nights he has off. Worst of living near a long road that hoons love – day and night. He does a lot of things with his young children at night before they go to bed otherwise they see very little of him. Then he has to get ready to go to work.


  • Jeremy is an amazing dad and husband,good on him!


  • I’m sure that some men need to be reminded of this! :-)


  • I agree with this. Mums parent and many Dads seem to babysit.


  • The Dads that need to hear this the most would probably never read this… Just saying ????????????
    Yes all partners should share the load, that goes both ways


  • People in a relationship should always share the load……housework, raising the kids, mowing the lawn, gardening, washing the car, home maintenance. Unless specifically agreed, no task should be allotted based on gender.


  • I think most people have blind spots, but if a dad can’t work most of this out himself, well…


  • Its a bit depressing that dads need to be told about this.


  • you help make them you help raise them, man or woman


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