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His wife says that whenever she suggests having quality time together, he asks if the kids can tag along. Her husband refuses to go on a date without kids.

A confused mum has shared her difficult relationship dilemma on Trib Live saying that her husband won’t go on a date with her unless their kids are included as well. Her husband told her that because they both work high pressure jobs, any down time they get should be spent together as family and not just with each other…

Craving Quality Time

The mum said that her husband’s disinterest in spending time with her is becoming a real problem. “We haven’t been out together alone in over a year,” she wrote. “And that includes our fifth wedding anniversary because he wanted to spend it with the kids.” Despite her understanding at the time, she said it is becoming increasingly difficult to cope with the situation. “I could basically force him to go out with me, but it is clear he doesn’t want to and, honestly, it doesn’t feel great to be on a date with my husband who doesn’t want to be there,” she said. In an attempt to compromise with her husband, the mum suggested a lunch or dinner every three months as a way to make scheduling in time together easier, but he refused to commit to the idea.

A Happy Ending?

The mum said she is in desperate need of some time alone time to work on their relationship. “I want a separate relationship with my husband,” she wrote, admitting that they were starting to lose each other in the craziness of work and home life. The advice columnist, Carolyn Hax, said that the mum had every right to be upset. “That your husband won’t go out with you alone, ever, is a significant marriage problem,” she said. “Insist, flat out, that you go on some kind of retreat together, alone, to find the brakes. Before everything crashes, before the kids get hurt.”

Given the importance of spending time as a couple, we can completely understand this mum’s frustration. Even though it’s not always easy, making quality time with your partner a priority can only strengthen your relationship.

Do you struggle to spend time alone with your partner? Let us know in the comments.

  • Feel so sorry for this mum – it’s taking the SNAG syndrome just too far.

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  • I can understand that would be tough, my hubby always wants to bring the kids when we plan things as well but he still understands certain occasions it should just be us 2 and we do get one one one time occasionally but 98% of the time the kids also come and we do things as a family he doesn’t outright refuse.

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  • My husband is also all about the kids can be very frustrating

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  • I would feel a bit hurt. After all I’m sure she doesn’t expect it all the time! It’s not a holiday just a date night once in a while.

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  • Love when dads want to include the kids but it’s also healthy for your relationship to leave them for an hour to be by yourselfs to reconnect

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  • Wouldn’t work for me but it’s kind of sweet
    No partner for me to worry about this with

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  • Hmmmm, each to their own

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  • I’m wondering if he was always left out of things when he was a child and that’s why he is acting like this. See if he is willing to spend one date night alone one week and then a family night out with the kids. It also depends on how old the kids are too.

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  • They need to get their priorities straight. They need to be able to have a balance between work and home life. If work is taking up so much time that there isn’t both alone time for them and time for the kids this is where the problem lies.

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  • We always make date nights or coffee dates. Somuch so that our son gets jealous and wants to come too. But, we realise it’s important that we spend time together as well as each of us spending one-on-one time with our son. We’ve always factored in time for us as a couple, no matter how rushed or tricky it might be.

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  • If it’s with the kids then I wouldn’t class it as a date. That’s called family time.

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  • At the moment I’m still feeding our second child so we can’t go alone. But we make do by spending time together when both kids are in bed, even if it’s just sitting next to each other on the coach searching something in tv. We are together we talk and we connect. I am craving some time with just us and I know my partner can’t wait until we can do movie dates at the cinema again watching adult shows instead of kids stuff haha.


    • Yes that what we did and do too. Going out is not possible for every family, especially when you’ve children with special needs and no family around.

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  • never get enough alone couples time and it is important inn a marriage.

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  • I didn’t go out alone with my husband either in ages ! With 2 kids with special needs and no family around we just have to cope by ourselves. Spending quality time is also possible at home when the kids are in bed, it doesn’t have to be in the form of a date.

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  • I think date night is super important…. even if you spend half the night talking about the kids.

    Reply

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