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His wife says that whenever she suggests having quality time together, he asks if the kids can tag along. Her husband refuses to go on a date without kids.

A confused mum has shared her difficult relationship dilemma on Trib Live saying that her husband won’t go on a date with her unless their kids are included as well. Her husband told her that because they both work high pressure jobs, any down time they get should be spent together as family and not just with each other…

Craving Quality Time

The mum said that her husband’s disinterest in spending time with her is becoming a real problem. “We haven’t been out together alone in over a year,” she wrote. “And that includes our fifth wedding anniversary because he wanted to spend it with the kids.” Despite her understanding at the time, she said it is becoming increasingly difficult to cope with the situation. “I could basically force him to go out with me, but it is clear he doesn’t want to and, honestly, it doesn’t feel great to be on a date with my husband who doesn’t want to be there,” she said. In an attempt to compromise with her husband, the mum suggested a lunch or dinner every three months as a way to make scheduling in time together easier, but he refused to commit to the idea.

A Happy Ending?

The mum said she is in desperate need of some time alone time to work on their relationship. “I want a separate relationship with my husband,” she wrote, admitting that they were starting to lose each other in the craziness of work and home life. The advice columnist, Carolyn Hax, said that the mum had every right to be upset. “That your husband won’t go out with you alone, ever, is a significant marriage problem,” she said. “Insist, flat out, that you go on some kind of retreat together, alone, to find the brakes. Before everything crashes, before the kids get hurt.”

Given the importance of spending time as a couple, we can completely understand this mum’s frustration. Even though it’s not always easy, making quality time with your partner a priority can only strengthen your relationship.

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Do you struggle to spend time alone with your partner? Let us know in the comments.

  • At the moment I’m still feeding our second child so we can’t go alone. But we make do by spending time together when both kids are in bed, even if it’s just sitting next to each other on the coach searching something in tv. We are together we talk and we connect. I am craving some time with just us and I know my partner can’t wait until we can do movie dates at the cinema again watching adult shows instead of kids stuff haha.

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  • never get enough alone couples time and it is important inn a marriage.

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  • I didn’t go out alone with my husband either in ages ! With 2 kids with special needs and no family around we just have to cope by ourselves. Spending quality time is also possible at home when the kids are in bed, it doesn’t have to be in the form of a date.

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  • I think date night is super important…. even if you spend half the night talking about the kids.

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  • It so hard to spend quality time away from you kids because that mum guilt is real hahaha

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  • A lot of women would love a man like that. Caring about his kids. There must be times she has him to herself however things will change as the children get older just hang in there,

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  • It’s a tricky situation. She says they both work high pressure jobs that don’t allow much time, it’s natural to want to see and spend time with your children and partner as a family. Normally we would be happy to read about a man who wants to make his children a priority and to spend time with them. I do understand her desire to have one on one time with her husband too and find it strange that he won’t commit to one meal out alone together. Without knowing the kids ages or how they feel about sleepovers but perhaps she could arrange for the children to have a sleepover at friends or family for a night and then just spend time with each other. He can’t exactly suddenly decide to go get the kids.

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  • Hw can you have a sensible conversation with kids underfoot constantly?

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  • it is so important to keep the communication up between you as a couple and keep your bond

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  • There should be a mix of both, it okay to take the kids but is it really a date if it isn’t just about the two of you?

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  • Honestly, I think I would prefer to take the kids with me too. No worrying about the babysitter, no boredom as conversation lulls, no awkward silences etc

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  • I wish to have date night with ky husband and just 2h for ourself

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  • I think it’s great that he values ‘family time’ so much, but he really does need to give his wife some one on one time. Fortunately, it isn’t an issue for us, but I think it is extremely important.

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  • Surely this couple can spend time together when the children are asleep.

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  • I think that’s lovely. At least she knows he loves his kids and loves spending time with his kids

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