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I’ve been married to my loving husband for more than 13 years. I believe that one of the cornerstones to every happy marriage, including ours, is that we have a  financially harmonious marriage.

For more than a decade we have learned how to resolve our financial conflicts by avoiding what I refer to as the “common money pitfalls” of marriage.

In the spirit of a new financial year, I’d like to share with you some of these pitfalls, along with ideas on how to avoid them, or understand them so that you can turn some of those nasty arguments over money into healthy discussions about your finances.

Common pitfall # 1 “His” and “Hers”

Have you heard any of your friends say, “I work for the money and they spend the money”? Another common sentence I hear is the, “I pay the mortgage and they pay for the groceries.”

First step of being married is dispelling the “his” and “hers” mindset – it is “ours”.

Whenever Steven and I have conflicts over money or anything in general, we always remember one thing: we are one team.

Common pitfall # 2 the idea of “My Money” and “Your Money”

When our twins were born, Steven was the only one working for a few months but even so, we treated each other as equal contributors to our home. Sometimes it’s easy to think, “I’ve worked hard for my pay cheque, I should be able to spend it any way I want,” but that kind of thinking is damaging to your relationship.

Just because your partner’s contribution happens to be in dollars, does not give it greater value than the love, devotion and hard work you give your family.

Common pitfall # 3 “The Budget Tyrant”

“Honey, I’ve looked over our budget and I think you are spending too much money on food, so I’ve prepared a plan that will keep you from overspending so that I can reach my financial goals at the end of year.” Does this sound like any one you know?

It’s common in marriages that one partner dictates how money should be managed in the household.

While this may seem logical, it’s a ticking bomb. Just as both of you contribute to the value that goes into the home, both of you contribute to the value that comes out of the home. As partners, both of you have to participate in the development of the household budget.

Successful marriages are no easy feat but with the right mindset, attitude, love and devotion there’s no reason why you can’t live a blissful married life.

Remember you and your partner are one team.

IMPORTANT INFORMATION: The information and opinions contained in this article are of a general nature only and does not take into account the investment objectives; financial situation or particular needs of any individual or entity and does not constitute specific or personal advice. The information and opinions herein do not constitute any recommendation. No financial product or financial service should be acquired or disposed of or financial strategy adopted without you first obtaining professional personal financial advice suitable and appropriate to your own personal needs, objectives, goals and circumstances.  Information, forecasts and opinions contained in this article can change without notice. Although care has been exercised in compiling the information contained within, Modoras Pty. Ltd. does not warrant that the articles within are free from errors, inaccuracies or omissions. To the extent permissible by law, neither Modoras Pty. Ltd. nor its employees, representatives or agents (including associated and affiliated companies) accept liability for loss or damages incurred as a result of a person acting in reliance of this publication. This article has been prepared by Modoras Pty. Ltd. ABN 86 068 034 908,  AFSL 233209.
  • To be financially harmonious in a relationship, you would first need finances right? Something lacking in our relationship at the minute.

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  • yup i can agree how easy it is to see it as his and her money and how couple fight with how they want to spend their money.

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  • I totally agree there shouldn’t be his or her money it should be joint.

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  • It should always be ours, nut sometimes my partner struggles with this. He feels that he should still have his. It really annoys me as I am the main bread winner.

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  • Thanks again; it is definitely about being a team.

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  • yep it’s one thing we have always had fights about. It’s hard.

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  • Good information. It is very important that a couple work together on financial decisions.

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  • Interesting article and read.

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  • Right from the start we knew that the one area that we could clash in was money and our different approaches to it. So we worked out a solution that works for us both. When we began we were both working, although I was the higher income earner. I worked out what we needed each year to meet all the bills and therefore what we each need to contribute to a joint account to meet those needs. So that amount went straight from our pay into the joint account which I had control of(!). After that any money earned by each of us was ours to do with as we wanted. All bills and expenses met, no arguments about who spent money on what!

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  • I think you both have to be on the same page as each other, no matter how you work your finances. What works for one couple may not work for another.

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  • You have to be careful especially if one partner has a gambling problem or drug problem – it can be an entirely different ball game!

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  • Arguments over finances are one of the quickest way for cracks to develop in a relationship. It’s so important for partners to realize that everything you bring to a relationship has value, not just the money you bring in, and decisions should be mutual.

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  • I actual had to growl at my partner for financial control. I explained that as a new sahm I was not used to not having my own money and I have always been financially independent. He understood which was great so now I don’t have to explain every little purchase.

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  • Luckily, my partner and I have always been on the same page financially.

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  • My husband & I have separate accounts & money has never been an issue for us. We have been married 13yrs.We each contribute equally to bills & buying household items but we still refer to each others money as ours.

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