The kids get home from school, and every day you excitedly ask, ‘How was your day’, only to get a one-word response. Sigh.

It’s frustrating for any parent, but especially if your little one has only just started school and you’re just itching to know how their day has been! But there’s a really good reason why kids find this one question so difficult to answer, and there are simple ways to help them open up about what they’ve been up to at school.

Child and family therapist Dr Siggie Cohen has an uber popular TikTok account, where she shares invaluable info on parenting, including how to get your kids to open up after their school day. She know’s just how disappointing it can be when you ask, “How was school today,” only to met with “I don’t know,” “Fine,” or “I forgot”.

@parenting.with.dr.siggie #parentingtips #positiveparenting #realparentingmoments #parentlife #realparenthood #backtoschool ♬ original sound – Parenting.With.Dr.Siggie

As Dr Cohen explains, while you’re desperate to hear how their day was, your child has just ended a long day, full of effort and that question is too big, too general for them to respond to.

“So instead, ask SPECIFIC ones,” Dr Cohen suggests.

Questions like:

  • “During snack time, who did you sit next to?”
  • “Did your teachers say something funny today?”
  • “Was anyone in class upset today?”

Dr Cohen says this helps your child break down their big experience in a more detailed and balanced way.

Want more Back To School Tips? Head to these articles next:

Is your child an open book after school, or does it take some effort to get them to talk? Let us know in the comments below. 

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  • I can’t relate sorry. My son used to talk non-stop after school and tell us everything. He is on the spectrum on would share the entire minutiae of his day.


  • My children always wanted to talk at bedtime, so I spent some time with each one around then and they would let me know how they were going at school, how they were getting on with friends, teachers, etc. No one wants to feel pushed into talking about things, I found.


  • I’ve got teens and one is happy to talk about their day and the other usually not. I ask the same questions to both. Every kid is different.


  • I’ve found that my kid likes to talk about his day after dinner. Once schools done he just wants to have his own time.


  • Great advise. It does open the kids up and they love it. Well mine do


  • This is applicable to the older teenagers too :)


  • That’s really smart! Good to know


  • I really like the example questions. Ill be trying them out on my kids.


  • This is a great article. You want to hear all about their day so need to change it up daily . Sometimes they will even ask me how my day was!


  • …….and then when they become teenagers it all changes again. They either want to tell you everything or completely go into their caves.


  • I agree and think it is just a matter of asking different questions instead of the same old ” how was your day?”.


  • Ask things like “I wonder what your friends are having for lunch today”. Often they can’t wait to tell you when they get home. Starts the conversation rolling.


  • I find my kids always want to have a chat right at bed time, I guess they feel safe and secure, I enjoy our little chats at this time and learn lots.


  • I have had trouble with my son not wanting to talk about his day when he gets home and I out it down to being tired some of the time but maybe more directed questions will help. Thank you


  • Love this article. We always ask ” What was the best part of your day?” Having said that none of my kids ( except maybe my teenager atm) need to be pushed to talk. They’d all talk under water with a bag full of marbles. My biggest issue is getting them to take turns or to finish what they are saying and let someone else have a turn haha


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