The mum had the right idea.

I can understand why the Dad was a bit worried but why didn’t he ring the boys Mum discreetly and explain things to her. His son’s friend could have at least been there and Mum could have picked him up around bedtime. Hopefully he can do something to get situation resolved. I do think that by not accepting his son’s special needs friend, he’s making it sound like he doesn’t want his son to have anything to do with him. I think he has some explaining to do to his son.

I get where dad is coming from but mum is right by suggesting they speak with the child’s mum first. It seems like dad just didn’t want to even attempt dealing with him.

I think the parents should have spoken to the friends mum, however I agree with all points here.

Yeah we have never done sleepovers at all

I totally agree with the mum. A phone call to discuss with his parents would have been the better option.

Yeah, pretty sure that’s called discrimination. Definitely should have called the mother of the kid to find out how to make it work.

All have legitimate stand points. Dad sounds like he’s over reacted to his son and mum seems to have the best approach. A compromise and discussion could have found a win win for everyone.

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 30 Apr 2023 , 7:43 am

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  Yes, I agree with mums opinion too

Dad shouldn’t be rubbished here
Dad gave a honest and legit reason why he didn’t want to include his sons special freind in the sleep over
Dad has a duty of care and is responsible for that child while in his care
If dad feels within himself he’s not up to the job and all the aftermath in the event it did go wrong who are we to say otherwise
and if something did go wrong we would than be on here berating him for it
Dads decision was right for cancelling it as no-one was left out
Both families need to get to know each other first
Calling the family prior could of alleviated the situation that evolved

This makes me so happy that the son wants to be inclusive! The dad def should’ve spoken to his wife and the child’s mother! I agree it might be a lot, but I’m sure the child’s mother would’ve done what’s best for her son – whether it be to politely decline the invitation, or tag along to the sleepover.. whatever her son needed to be safe and included.

It’s a shame Dad didn’t have a discussion with mum first. Mum seems to have the right idea in mind.

Perhaps the father should have suggested a play date first for the adults to gauge the level of supervision needed.

I agree that the parents should have discussed it together first.

I am proud of their son for being so inclusive and not wanting to leave his friend out… the father reaction makes me so sad, I wish he would have discussed it with mum first.

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 28 Apr 2023 , 7:54 am

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  Yes I agree
  I have a child with a developmental delay as well. She’s 9yrs old, functioning on a level of a 2-3 yr old, but she’s very smart in her own way. She goes to a normal mainstream school. She has never yet been invited by one of her classmates for a play date or a birthday party. It hurts, she’s such a lovely child.

The wife has the right way of dealing with it. So the dad maybe should have discussed it with his wife before moving on.

I agree with the Mum. I work with special needs children and some do require extensive care. The nice thing would have been to contact the parents and say quite honestly that your son wanted him to come for the sleepover but you had no idea if this was something that they would be happy with and if you would be able to care for him as he needs to be cared for. Its possible that they would not allow him to stay the night but they could have allowed him to come over for a certain length of time and perhaps pick him up before bedtime. Either way it would be lovely to include him in the invite rather then to leave him out. Imagine if that was your child….and speaking of your child…..despite how Dad is it seem this little boy is wonderfully accepting and very kind and caring…..Dad needs to learn from him. And cancelling the entire sleepover and punishing your child for being awesome??? Dad seriously needs an attitude check.

A quick chat with the parents would’ve given you an idea if you were equipped or not

It is a tough situation. In some ways, you are not in the wrong as you didn’t feel you could be accommodating as kids with special needs can be a big responsibility.
But then again, you or your wife could of spoken to the mother of the child and asked if it would be possible.
Recently, my son who ASS, celebrated his birthday and a few of his friends have ADHD. And it was sooooo difficult to manage at times as they got so excited, they ended up loud and started to be silly. Which is normal but it was still a big responsibility to keep them managed. I had no idea a couple of them had ADHD as I never met them before so it was on the day I learnt. One other friend, we already knew.
So it is a tough situation. And don’t feel bad for saying no. Next time, could arrange a separate night for just the two of them together for a sleepover so it may be easier and learn from as well.

I don’t think it’s wrong at all. When you have another child over for a sleepover it’s a big responsibility. Also, his son might not have had as much fun if he was having having to worry about Jason.

I would have had a chat with the parents and see what their thoughts and concerns are. Receiving the invite can be just lovely and bless the other, even when they decide to decline it. I love the boys heart trhat he wants to include his friend

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  • • mom93821 replied
    • 28 Apr 2023 , 5:55 am

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  I agree, everything can be worked out. We have worked out invites and had conversations and everyone has been included.