Hello!

A mum is looking for advice, after she put both of her twin daughters on a diet, even though only one is considered overweight.

The mum has 14-year-old identical twins, Meagan and Alana, who are both five feet tall, or 153 cms. Megan weighs more than 68kg while Alana tips the scales at 43kgs.

“They used to be the same weight until they were around seven, when Megan started getting chubby, but still healthy weight,” the mum explained.

“When she was 11, Megan was considered medically overweight. I went to a doctor for advice, and he said that I shouldn’t worry too much since a lot of kids gain weight right before puberty, and then ‘balance out’ after their growth spurt.

“The twins had their growth spurt last year, and Megan’s weight has only increased since then, to the point where she’s actually obese.”

The mum said she did go to multiple doctors, who have all said that neither of the twins have any medical conditions that would impact their weight.

“So I decided to implement a healthy diet for the entire family.”

“I slowly started to cut back on sugar, junk food, and unhealthy snacks. I cook them high volume, low calorie meals full of vegetables and protein so that they still feel full after eating. Neither of the twins are very athletic, so I’ve also tried encouraging them to engage in physical activities, like swimming, bike riding, trampolining, etc.

“I tried putting emphasis on staying healthy instead of losing weight.”

But eventually one of the twins realised what was happening, and now she feels like she’s being ‘punished’ for her sister being overweight.

“Alana guessed that the real reason for this new diet is because I want Megan to lose weight. She started complaining that it’s not fair that she also has to diet because her sister’s fat. I told her that I didn’t want Megan to feel singled out and feel as though she’s the only one being punished for her weight. Am I the a**hole?”

What do you think? Has this mum done the wrong thing? Offer your advice in the comments below. 

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  • If everyone is eating more healthier then no-one is being singled out. You’ve taken the right approach.

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  • If the entire family is eating healthier and trying to move more which is a good thing for everyone then it is not a diet it is a lifestyle choice for all and no one is singled out.

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  • I think that putting emphasis on everyone in the family is eating healthier food is the best way to go about a delicate subject like weight loss. No one is singled out. You’re doing the right thing.

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  • Teaching your kids to eat healthier meals and exercise is fantastic. If not done to extreme, then keep educating them to stay healthy and fit. They will reap the benefits in years to come.

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  • I don’t think eating healthier is punishment. If the twins are on a ‘diet’ and noone else is made to eat that way then I can see how either of them would feel that way though. I would rather try to have everyone eat healthier than think or act like any one given person in the family needs restrictions. Reframe everyone’s thinking and make it a new way of life for everyone. Also, I’m technically obese but with the size and weight of my boobs, I’m never going to be in the ideal range. I just focus on moving my body and eating the right fuel for my body.

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  • Healthy eating vs diet are two different things and the language is so different. Neither should be put on a diet and both daughters should be treated as individuals, not as one.

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  • If its a change the whole family is making, then its for the better

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  • Nothing wrong in principle with whole family following a healthy lifestyle diet (I have trouble in that hubby likes certain treats, eg soft drinks, and really nothing will stop him and I can’t police his life, it’s not my job, but of course it sets a bad example for the kids). The tricky part with anything food-wise comes when teenagers are involved. They have their own opinions – whether it’s about super healthy vegan food, or pasta junk, and really do not like being controlled or told what to do. I think make healthy food available and the ‘slim’ twin (and other) take more responsibility for their own meals. If the slim twin starts buying her own junk food I don’t think hounding her would help. Just setting a good example and keep going with the healthy lifestyle message and example for everyone else.

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  • So long as the whole family is ‘eating healthy’ and it’s not a ‘diet’, I think this could be a good thing. It might also be positive to find some fun, active activities the whole family can enjoy like if you don’t already have a dog, adopt one to take on walks, go hiking, rock climbing, there’s heaps of things to exercise without it feeling like work and could seem more like a reward.

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  • I think it can only be a good thing for everyone to be eating healthy. Better than singling out the chubby daughter for healthy eating

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  • A “healthy diet” for the entire family is always a good thing regardless of what anyone’s weight is.

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  • I think the mistake was made when mum didn’t emphasise that everyone in the family was going onto a healthier diet to benefit all of them and therefore not letting the slim twin feel slighted. What this mum is doing will benefit everyone if they are all following it.

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  • No, this is exactly the right thing to do!

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  • It’s a much better approach than asking only one child to follow a particular diet – you’ll all benefit.

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  • No, getting the whole family on board is a great idea. No singling out for either girl.

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  • A healthy diet and lifestyle for the whole family is fine and engaging in physical exercise by the whole family another good way to establish healthy habits.


    • Absolutely, it’s good for us all !



      • When exercise is made fun; it also helps to engage everyone in the family in healthy habits.

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  • Initially when I read the title I thought no that is not right.
    However reading the article that this mum inplemented a healthy diet for the entire family and that she slowly started to cut back on sugar, junk food, and unhealthy snacks, cooking them high volume, low calorie meals full of vegetables and protein, gives a different perpective.
    A Healthy diet is good for us all and she implemented it for the whole family, which is good.

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  • It sounds like she’s done the right thing, by doing it for the whole family. They will benefit in the end.

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  • I think mums heart is in the right place but she needs to make that lifestyle change for everyone in the family and not single out the twins. They are too young for a diet. Encourage healthy eating and exercise, but still allow those little treats here and there.


    • The article says she did “So I decided to implement a healthy diet for the entire family.”

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  • I personally think a diet for an 11 year old is not right. They are still young and developing. I agree with cutting out some sugar and making some lifestyle changes but that should be implemented for the family not just the twins that way everyone is doing it and it is a family change not directed at a particular person in the family.

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