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A frustrated school mum says she’s fed up with parents blaming teachers and sporting coaches for their child not excelling.

The mum took to a forum to share her opinion, saying she can’t understand why some parents can’t accept that their child is ‘average’.

“Just from listening to some parents at the school gates and activities, it seems certain parents can’t accept their child is normal or average,” she said.

“If they are not over achieving it’s the schools fault, teachers fault, other parents faults, coaches fault. It’s draining. Also some parents who might be very high achievers themselves just expect their child should be the same as them and point the finger if not. What’s wrong with average? I just think it’s ludicrous carry on.”

She said she thinks it’s unfair for parents to offload on teachers and schools when their child ‘doesn’t get the marks they want to get’ or ‘badmouthing a coach when their average player wasn’t picked first for the team’.

“It hinders confidence to hear parents blaming schools, teachers, even other children having the audacity to have tutors.
If parents accept the child they have they would be happy and confident regardless..Not every child is going to be the next Einstein or Keely Hodgkinson and that’s completely OK. What’s not OK is blaming everyone surrounding the child for them not meeting the parents expectations.”

Her post was met with lots of comments from other mums who agreed.

“We have some parents like this at school and I really feel sorry for their children because no matter what they do, it never impresses their parents because it’s always the least that they expect,” one mum replied.

Another said, “I think parents often do this to hide their own guilt, they perceive it is because they themselves don’t do enough with their kids to push them but don’t want to accept that.”

However others disagreed.

“Having had a bright child who was phenomenally let down by school in the last year of primary I would say it works both ways.”

“Seriously, I understand what you mean but you have no idea what’s really going on with anyone else’s child. Live and let live and be grateful you have a happy, successful child.”

What’s your opinion? Share it in the comments below. 

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  • I think most people probably do accept this but when you’re around any person for long enough you see their qualities and abilities as sometimes better than average or really impressive in certain ways. It’s not a bad thing to think your child is above average I think. I think 2 of my children are really booksmart and remember everything better than average.

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  • I always say most kids have one thing they’re good at, and no guarantees about anything else – and what they’re good at isn’t always academic.

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  • Not all children can match up to what their parents think they should be. Times are harder now and not all kids can handle what is expected of them. To me, I was just glad that my boys tried their best, which is all we should really expect.

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  • Every child has skills and talents which may not be obvious at school. There are lots of avenues to becoming successful, and everyone defines success differently.

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  • It’s crazy that parents or carers are blaming teachers, coaches or tutors for their Childs average performance. My teenagers always come home and state that their teacher is “crap” or “hopeless” in which I correct them and advised them That its you not understanding the work they are giving and that its up to you to speak to the teacher during or after class to get a better understanding of what they are teaching. Since my teens have been doing this they have been understanding more and putting more effort into their work and having more faith in their teachers.

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  • I think that their has been a shift in parents behaviour towards school staff. Recently we hear more and more about parents who show angry, aggressive and violant behaviour towards school staff, which is quite shocking.
    While previously bullying was associated with children in the schoolyard, increasingly it appears that teachers are becoming the victims of bullying behaviour from parents. This affects their safety in the workplace. Teachers have reported being bullied or harassed at school events, sports grounds, by email and social media.
    Back in the day parents and teachers were a team, united for kids’ success. I do think this is less the case nowadays.

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  • I totally agree.

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  • As long as they are happy and healthy, that is really all that matters. The rest will fall into place. Just because they start out as smart doesn’t equate to being gifted once in high school. I knew a mum who taught her daughter to read in Kinder, she expected her to excel all through school but ended up being a normal kid in high school.

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  • As long as they are not struggling that’s all that matters. Not everyone can excel.

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  • If children are doing their best and parents are also doing their best at helping the child, then you will have a happy family. Happiness is what means the most throughout their life. Neither achievement or money can bring happiness, so why not have that as the ideal in your home.

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  • There’s a lot of factors here. It’s on the children themselves too – I have a daughter who is amazing at writing stories, but is quite lazy and would rather procrastinate instead. That being said, I don’t think there is enough in schools to encourage half the time either. When she was going for a scholarship there was no mentoring – nothing. It was all on me at home to try and encourage and help her and I also work full time. It’s hard. It’s also hard to know how much to push your kid to help them succeed and reach their full potential. Because if you don’t do it enough, then they may also just drift through life never going anywhere.

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  • I dont think the right wording has been used here. Some kids excel at book learning, others excel at hands on learning, others excel at sport. Our kids all having different ways of learning and all can excel at it their way, they can do without labelling such as this

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  • I agree with Ellen’s comment beneath; no child is average. They all have strengths and weaknesses but to blame a teacher/coach for any weakness is wrong. Learning starts at home. A teacher has 30 odd kids in their class and doesn’t have time for extended one on one learning. If an issue is identified then it’s up to the parents to help/get outside help where it’s needed.


    • So true ! For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not recognize their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, please let this be a gentle reminder to BE KIND AND ACCEPTING OF ALL PEOPLE! Be kind to your child and see their beauty and gifts. Recognize that the “playing field” is not always a level surface.
      Children who learn differently are not average, below average or weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!!

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  • I think that the title of this article is WRONG, saying “Why Can’t Some Parents Just Accept Their Child Is Average?’
    In my opinion not one single child in the world is average ? Everey child is unique and has their very own capabilities and strengths and intelligence comes in a lot of different domains

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  • Teaching has changed. I get why some would not agree with what is getting taught. When I was a kid you had to read in class. My 7 year old hasn’t been asked once to read in class. It’s up to the parents if they want to teach them to read or not. Most would expect teachers to be teaching reading. No one tells you this either. You have to ask your child stuff to find out. They teach sight words.

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  • Parents lack gratitude. To have a healthy functioning child is such a blessing.


    • I agree, gratefulness is so important. With gratitude comes acceptance, acknowledgement and appreciation for a person (in this context the child). I remember one of my friends sent her kids to kumon several times a week to push them to do better than they were doing, whilst they already had a report card with only A’s and B’s. It always puzzled me.

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  • All kids are different. I’d just be grateful they’re healthy

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  • Every child is different. Some may excel academically some may be better at sports. You just can’t compare them. Make sure your kids are happy that’s most important

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  • Kids should not be compared to as all kids are unique and have different talents in different areas. I think it is a mistake to do this.


    • Exactly, all are kids are different and unique and have their very own strengths !

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  • I have not experienced this and never thought this way. All children are unique and comparisons are pointless.


    • I agree with you, every child is unique and you should never compare kids to other kids.



      • It never brings happiness to compare children or lives; always live your own life.

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